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You just dare to judge her (1 Viewer)

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Cobwebs creeping over walls,
Stains over bedsheets,
Food a little burnt always,
Not a prompt response for calls incoming,
A calm, composed, smiling mother of a special kid,
on her way of preferences

Ritu Dimri Nautiyal

Hello,

Lovely words by the way.
She is like an offset clock that would be damn rude if anyone tried to fix her, she wasn’t always this way, most definitely not her choice.

Hope you don’t mind my comment.
Thank you.

J.
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Hello,

Lovely words by the way.
She is like an offset clock that would be damn rude if anyone tried to fix her, she wasn’t always this way, most definitely not her choice.

Hope you don’t mind my comment.
Thank you.

J.
Not definitely her choice, but clear about what she has chosen.
Felt glad that you liked it.
Thanks
Ritu
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
This is interesting, a little different from your other work, but still it has that voice which I associate with stuff I’ve read from you. I like that the overall meaning still seems a little oblique to me because that gives me a reason to come back and read the piece again.

If I had one criticism I feel like the last line is a little passive, for me in these shorter piece I want more of a punch at the end. But that’s just me.

Cheers

Syd
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
This is interesting, a little different from your other work, but still it has that voice which I associate with stuff I’ve read from you. I like that the overall meaning still seems a little oblique to me because that gives me a reason to come back and read the piece again.

If I had one criticism I feel like the last line is a little passive, for me in these shorter piece I want more of a punch at the end. But that’s just me.

Cheers

Syd

Ok Syd. I will rethink on the ending.
Thanks
Ritu
 
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