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Writing about Sexuality in Story Telling is difficult for me (1 Viewer)

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BabesJJ

Senior Member
On a positive note a recent thread got me thinking about the minimal amount sexuality in the fiction novel I am writing and it is a romance novel. I find it difficult to write about. I have been watching a lot of Netflix series lately and all of them have tons of sexuality written in the series. The Bridgetons, Grace and Frankie, The Queens Gambit, The Kominsky Method. The Kominsky Method being my favorite so far. In fact it almost dominates the conversaton in Grace and Frankie and they are all playing 70 year olds. So it is a natural part of human nature and I am not natural at writing about it at all.

It reminds me of when I went to Art school and had a lot of difficulty drawing hands. I am very good at drawing faces and was also sometimes frightened at drawing hair. And finally I learned it is about picking out the light and the darks and shapes and just dive in. I have this same sort of hesitancy about sexuality with my two characters in my fiction novel. One thing I noticed about the Queens Gambit is that she goes from a child to a young woman in the story. She is a pretty woman in the world of mens chess and there are lots of sexuality in the story. Also she flirts by staring at her opponents.

I am going to try and order the book by Walter Tevis on Amazon and see if this is mentioned in the book. Growing up and reading a lot. Most writers
barely mention it and strong feelings are never shown in actual sex scenes. For Instance I remember reading Oh Pioneers by Willa Cahter which is a torrid love story and ends in a murder of both lovers by her husband. And there is never a sex scene shown. In one of her later books I think it is called Lost Lady there are a few scenes of hugging and it is useful to drive the story forward explaining the relationships and situation.

I haven't really thought about it much as it hasn't come up in my first 3 chapters. Although trying to be funny and eye catchingly memorable saying my new avatar is a combination of one of my first pets name and a street from childhood and it equals my pole dancer name. I think I had carelessly spelled it like poll dancer. and then trying to be obtuse and instead of mentioning the small spelling error. I tried to be obtuse and talk about the distinction between a prostitute and pole dancer which there is little distinction as there is little distinction between the e at the end of pole and the l at the end of poll. The meaning is understood.

Anyway I don't plan on any sex scenes in the book but now maybe I should include something like this as a natural part of the development of the story.
I will have to see how this plays out and how comfortable I am with it. Most books that I have read dont go into great detail. I am running my mind over books I have read. Jane Eyre a classic no mention but it is a romance novel essentially. And they have a son at the end. Little House on the Prarie series i must have re read that series 10 time as a child. And there is only the mention of someone smelling of apples when they hugged them.

And Maya Angelou in her book I know Why a Caged Bird Sings I read that in high school It was a novel about her being raped at 7 and she told her family and the man was murdered soon after and she refused to talk for several years and found solace in reading. And then became first a singer and performer and later a writer. And that is a true story by the way about her life. And as a teen ager I found the direct talk about sexuality amazing. And she has a baby at 17 in the book her son guy.

Wally Lamb in his books like She Has Come Undone or This I Know to be True or something like that title. Both openly deal with sexuality. With scenes and peoples reactions to each other. You hardly notice it but it is there. And these are more modern novels. Not from another age like Jane Eyre or Little House on the Prarie series. Or willa Cather, not so apparent like I know Why a Caged Bird Sings or all these very modern Netflix series. In my first novel
it was another mismatched love story and I never had a sexuality reference and it was a romance again.

I guess my solution at this point is to get the Queens Gambit by Walter Tevis and read that. Although I already have read that many people are disappointed because I guess in the book she is ugly and the Netflix series she is gorgeous. So there might be no mention of sexuality I dont know.
And the chapter I am writing now is the early romance of the couple but I am not naturally directing my story in these areas and I likely should
as it creates a more natural character(s).
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
In my opinion, D. H. Lawrence is the best writer about sex, specifically Lady Chatterley's Lover. Well...some e.e. cummings poems are about equal. I'm trying to think of books that actually made me feel erotic instead of all the books with gratuitous sex on every page and yet not love.


Okay, so honestly...I'll take a tangent here... I'm really into MBTI/Jungian personality theory. To tell you the truth there are different ways people experience sex from a cognitive function perspective. Very in the moment and 5-senses-related, or...like me... kind of off the charts in the stratosphere of what it unlocks in my mind. Honestly the pleasure is the only thing keeping me pinned to planet earth at all as sensations run to very abstract symbols... but they are erotic... hard to explain to someone whose brain doesn't do that. There are writers who are like me and I think those books that write about the kind of sex that my brain experiences are much more erotic to me. There are then a few other ways to experience sex that I know very little about since I haven't gotten to talk to those personalities about it hardly at all. From what I can tell, it has something to do with a release for some, much more than it does for me.

At any rate, some of the authors writing about sex when they are not using symbolism and not using emotion (I'm also a considered a feeler by cognitive function) means nothing to me. There are so many vampire and fairy and werewolf sex books out there. I have some friends who love giving me bags of those. I skim a few and definitely need to return them. 50 Shades of Gray has boring repetitive sex that didn't seem like a turn-on to me at all and I guess was maybe something about release? By the way, I think from what you've written you might like more of the concepts in with the sex like I do.... not that I know you that well, but spelling pole as poll is something I would do. We also like a lot of the same books and some shows. Brigerton is nice just because of the chemistry between the leads, isn't it? Charlotte Bronte is one of my top favorites and I love Maya Angelou so much. I am also so grateful for her book. Toni Morison is too much for me, actually. Too much abuse in with the sex when I picked up a book. There might have been redemptive relationships in those books, and I wouldn't actually know. I got too upset when I tried to read one. I love pure love with sex in my life and in my books. All the books that I love with sex in them have some purity about them in this way....also the whole book can't just be about the sex. No way.

So luckily there are some other books that really do it for me:

As mentioned D.H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover In my opinion, it's beyond anything anyone else has done with sex in a book.
The Red Tent.... oh my gosh... gets me interested in the act just thinking about it and it's fantastic for relationships between daughters and aunts (not sexual!) and between men and women (love + sex).
The Year of Wonders about the Plague in an English town in the 1600's.
There's a lovely piece by Madeline L' Engle in And Both Were Young I think is the name of the book. You might be able to google Madeline L'Engle and sex scene and find it.
How Green Was My Valley has a fabulous sex scene, imo. Ohmy gosh the writing right before it... so beautiful, imo. The book is about growing up in a Welsh mining town around the turn of the century, so many wonderful observations to read about life in there.
All of the above except for Lawrence usually only had one or two sex scenes and that's all that was needed.

For more just fun and less classic, there were a few good scenes in the first book of Outlander, imo, but the author loves to have her MC take physical abuse (no not sexual, although sometimes in later books sexual? eek!) and come out of it smiling which is a problem imo. Also the first True Blood/Sooky Stackhouse. After the first books it was less about love and was much less erotic to me in both of these series. I wish I could un-read them, actually. I need love in my books... basically tons of foreplay is what it is when you're watching two characters almost getting it on and tension building and feelings of tenderness and protectiveness increasing, etc. =) Have fun!
 
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BabesJJ

Senior Member
Llyralen can I can you like canned peaches and pears and distribute you to the masses and everyone is so happy. Not meaning to be trite but you are a godsend to me.

I AM NOT GOING TO BECOME A LITERARY SEXOLOGIST! phew that was a lot to type in capital letters. Although I will order the Queens Gambit. ASAP.

Jeese, Loueeze, and other stuff. so, ahem and hmm and whatever. I have never read LCL although I have read on D.H. Lawrence book that I can not remember the title. Madame Bovary comes to mind for some reason and the only thing that stuck in my mind was that she married a country doctor who botched the club foot surgery killing some poor person. Thats me or moi. And the one D.H Lawrence book the only thing that stuck in my mind was when they were going to kill the mother who was dying and used a symbol of her death of a broken doll.

I love JUNG. I have a Carl Jung story. Once when I lived in Paris a graduate student I admired him so much that I made my lame friend Larry who was a diplomat in Paris drive me on a pilgrimage of sorts to see his house in Zurich. At the time his son was acting very terrible as teens do. And we were ganging up on him trying to convince him to be nice. I had an old friend on route and we visited the family. and they all pitched in trying to convince him to be nice too. And then onto Jung territory ZURICH Switzerland.

We visited his house. Jung loved making stone mandorlas. These circle stones. We got to Zurich with teen guy acting terrible. And me and Larry as a happy as clams. And Jungs summer escape was only open on certain months. So we forlornly peaked over the wall and our grumpy teen said hey I will boost you over the wall. Soon we all were over the wall at his summer home dancing and photos around all his stone sculptors. So I am posed at 36 with 6 foot circle stone in his country retreat.

Anyhoo now I am a Llyralen fan

your fan BabesJJ
 
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EmmaSohan

WF Veterans
It my chapter about the grammar of action scenes, I recently added sex scenes. So this topic has been on my mind. There are different ways of writing a sex scene.

There is the physical actions and emotions. I describe this in my book.

There is being more conceptual. This is actually on my website, though framed in the context of a kiss scene.

And a friend just forced me to look at Lolita. Nabakov does collage-like pieces. In my chapter, I talk about Martin Clark doing that, it's really hard to explain.

Which is to say, you talk about whether to include the sex scene or not. I think they are easier to include, and include well, if you know your choices for how to write them.
 
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EmmaSohan

WF Veterans
Sex scenes are often just physical, and I usually just skip over those. The physicality of sex is boring to me. So I did not automatically object that Ludlum (The Bourne Identity) skipped over the actual sex scene.

But. They went into the sex as two people negotiating a perilous relationship, and came out of it as a team. That's hard to write, but the opportunity to write that scene is precious. I want to say that's the reason I exist as a writer. How could he turn that down?

So, I'm perfectly capable of skipping the actual sex and going on to a conceptual post-coitus description. I also included the sex scene in my rewrite of The Scarlet Letter, and the book doesn't make sense without it. But it's mostly conceptual, with enough physicality so that the reader knows what is happening.
 

BabesJJ

Senior Member
EmmaSohan so people become teams after a perilous journey. OK I am your fan FOREVER. Meanwhile thank you thank you thank you. We are watching Edward Scissor Hands as the super bowel commercial prompted us.

I am a TV watcher via computers and Netflix. Get distracted when our family starts the afternoon stuff on TV. I will write more and longer when I am not as distracted. And Do you know about the Meyers Briggs it is a personality quiz. Jung inspired. Gotta go TV On.
 
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EmmaSohan

WF Veterans
Sorry for drowning you in answers.

What we as writers do, or at least should do, in any scene, is things like conflict, surprise, twists, obstacles, etc. And the natural thing is to leave those out of a sex scene. Because the two people are working together. (Even though that probably isn't completely true even in RL.) And the natural thing is to ignore personality growth, because sex is just supposed to be physical, or it leads to falling in love whatever that is but it's too vague to be good writing.

Or we ignore showing-character, as if everyone responds the same way to sex. Um, that might be close, but it's not true. Or that everyone feels the same in every sex scene, even though that seems ridiculous when I write it out.

Or maybe some writers just advance plot, and the plot tends to stand still for a sex scene.

So, the needs and potential of the sex scene vary. But usually you should be writing it AS A SCENE.

Okay. Done! I hope. I maybe should get therapy. :redface: Thanks for bringing this up.
 
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vranger

Staff member
Supervisor
My discussion is not going to be advice per se, but how I as one reader (and a male reader) look at the subject.

My primary genres of interest have always been sci fi, heroic fantasy, mystery (a la Perry Mason, Agatha Christie, etc), and some adventure. None of these genres prominently feature sex in any detail, and it's by no means a hole in those stories. They do, when it's appropriate to the story, make it clear who is interested in who and why, and occasionally when a specific sexual encounter occurs, but without a blow by blow.

Since 1993, the Literary Review has issued an annual award for "Worst Sex Scene". So many detailed sex scenes are written, especially in Romance, that authors sometimes go to ridiculous extremes to "make it different". Those authors may wind up as candidates for the Literary Review's award.

IMO, a detailed sex scene virtually NEVER has anything to do with building the story. 99.9% of the time they are included as an appeal to prurient interest, and there is unquestionably a market for that. I can see an exception if some behavior during the sex scene exposes a character trait the author wants known, and that's the only way to get it into the story, but that can probably still be done without step by step detail.

So the question a writer has to answer is if they are writing for the prurient interest market (which includes Erotica), or writing because they have a more encompassing story to share.

I included nothing but oblique references to sexual relationships until the sci fi novel I wrote just last spring. A couple becomes engaged, and shortly afterward is kidnapped. They escape the kidnappers, buy fake identities, and wind up sharing a hotel room for a few weeks while trying to arrange a way off the world they were transported to. Twice I make it very clear that they're having sex, but only by a sentence or so to telegraph it, then a change of scene. I believe in the trade, that's called having the sex "behind closed doors".

In my WIP, there are more frequent references to specific encounters, but it's still in the "behind closed doors" style. You will never, and I mean never, find something I write in any way a candidate for the Literary Review. ;-)

"Do you think we might just stay here?" Lea teased. "We should be able to get some kind of jobs."

"Very funny. So it's good news and bad news."

"I get the good news. Why bad news?"

"If we find a way to ship out on New Hansea, I've only got several days and their port stay to make things hot for the Count."

"Somehow, I was afraid that was the bad news. I just didn't want to give you any ideas in case it wasn't. So, how do we go about this?"

Thor noticed the 'we'. "I don't know. I haven't had much time to think about it yet. We'll have to put our heads together."

"I like that idea." As Lea rounded the table, she reached up and pulled the right half of her robe aside.

[End of Scene]

So there you have it ... the extent of a vranger hot sex scene. :)
 
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BabesJJ

Senior Member
Sex is everywhere in all these modern Netflix series I have been watching recently. Don't have me starting to worship John Irving. The best writer of sexuality ever. "It reminds me of when I went to Art school and had a lot of difficulty drawing hands. I am very good at drawing faces and was also sometimes frightened at drawing hair. And finally I learned it is about picking out the light and the darks and shapes and just dive in. I have this same sort of hesitancy about sexuality with my two characters in my fiction novel. One thing I noticed about the Queens Gambit is that she goes from a child to a young woman in the story. She is a pretty woman in the world of mens chess and there are lots of sexuality in the story. Also she flirts by staring at her opponents."
 
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Llyralen

Senior Member
Llyralen can I can you like canned peaches and pears and distribute you to the masses and everyone is so happy. Not meaning to be trite but you are a godsend to me.

I will think of myself as seen as a sunny bowl of peaches all day and it will keep making me smile! Yay!

I AM NOT GOING TO BECOME A LITERARY SEXOLOGIST!

I wouldn’t rule it out completely! Hehe.

Jeese, Loueeze, and other stuff. so, ahem and hmm and whatever. First of all most if not all D.H Lawrence lovers are men. I read LCL and other books and the only thing that stuck in my mind was that she married a country doctor who botched the club foot surgery killing him. Thats me or moi. And I read it twice. And I read another book and the only thing that stuck in my mind was when they were going to kill the mother a symbol was used about a doll.
.

That isn’t the plot of Lady Chatterley’s Lover. You must have read a different book. I kind of thought most women found LCL erotic. Hmm. I didn’t find Lawrence’s other books nearly as erotic.

I love JUNG. I have a Carl Jung story.


So awesome! I didn’t know about the stone mandalorias. Mandalas? I will check it out! How fun!!!
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
Sex scenes are often just physical, and I usually just skip over those. The physicality of sex is boring to me. So I did not automatically object that Ludlum (The Bourne Identity) skipped over the actual sex scene.

But. They went into the sex as two people negotiating a perilous relationship, and came out of it as a team. That's hard to write, but the opportunity to write that scene is precious. I want to say that's the reason I exist as a writer. How could he turn that down?

So, I'm perfectly capable of skipping the actual sex and going on to a conceptual post-coitus description. I also included the sex scene in my rewrite of The Scarlet Letter, and the book doesn't make sense without it. But it's mostly conceptual, with enough physicality so that the reader knows what is happening.

You re-wrote the Scarlet Letter? I would be very interested in that!
Someone made you read Lolita? There’s a book that would upset me, but I was wondering how Nabokov wrote sex scenes. That sounds interesting! So I should maybe look into Clark Martin’s stuff? What would you suggest?
 

BabesJJ

Senior Member
Llyralen, we are about to go down for vegetarian cooking, aged Corgi pre-named Cowboy about the place, although we adore him, WHAT I WANTED TO EMPHASIZE WAS THAT I WANTED TO CAPTURE AND PERSERVE YOU LIKE THE BEST THING OF A SUMMER SEASON. I know I am a mere mortal and I can't capture kindness and intelligence and fun. Yes I was boosted by a bad tempered teen age boy over the wall of Jungs wonderful summer house and saw several stone mandorlas.
 
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Llyralen

Senior Member
Llyralen, we are about to go down for vegetarian cooking, aged Corgi pre-named Cowboy potti ing about the place, although we adore him, WHAT I WANTED TO EMPHASIZE WAS THAT I WANTED TO CAPTURE AND PERSERVE YOU LIKE THE BEST THING OF A SUMMER SEASON. I know I am a mere mortal and I can't capture kindness and intelligence and fun. Yes I was boosted by a bad acting teen age boy over the wall of Jungs wonderful stone manderlas. bas speller. So we cavorthed in privare amongst the Mandorlas. And when I am expected to be half way family and engaged sorry that I am engaging. Do you know Meyers Briggs. Do an online test. I am a great fan of you, PEACHES are to die for.

I am so glad that you see me as all of those things and yes, peaches are wonderful! This is a wonderful symbol that you are giving me for myself! I think you’re so fun too! I appreciate you too! I love hearing these stories from you.

As Emma knows, because she and I have talked about it, I am a MBTI freak. It colors almost every aspect of the way I view life and people. I’m an ENFP. My only other forum is PersonalityCafe.com (same name of llyralen). I love to just hear how different people experience things and think. Even though I’m saying I’m a freak about it, I do think it’s all about the brain. I follow Dario Nardi’s work with neuroscience and MBTI. Since a lot of the brain is trained I do know there are anomalies in type and have seen it.

I am working right now on writing a short article or blog about how MBTI can help a person’s writing and how to draw inspiration from it along the lines of Jung’s archetypal thinking. I will post that on this forum when it’s ready.
 

Taylor

Staff member
Global Moderator
I had to chuckle when I saw this thread come up...very timely for me. I just finished writing a sex scene for my MC and her new love interest -- their first time. I wasn't sure how to write it, but decided to write it as I would wish to read it. It took one and a half chapters.
3QQ1GPQOUjtn_VQvpo-UWxeDkbxZ8ySoMqAcalCQgOIRwqeIJ2omCNtMjz4Sl5XDl1QC18ezOIwKh5KxdJuo59ty9Ne4-dHWqeyADhSM45pMGuA6u_RljF734BrFHpTdBe-lO_nm


They had been dating for two weeks, are busy professionals and not yet found the opportunity to be intimate at all. Only one kiss at the door at the end of one date. But a friend invites them away for the weekend. So once they fly out of NYC, they leave work and everything else behind, and are now in neutral territory. What fun I had! It takes place in a luxury hotel over two days. Because they got in late on Friday night after a five hour flight and a visit with their friends, they headed down that path, but she fell asleep from exhaustion on the first night. So they finally get to it during the following day, starting in the morning after a nice long breakfast. Writing from my FMC POV, I included many of her thoughts. AND most importantly their conversations. He's incredibly turned on by her mind, and vice versa. But I only write up to the clothes coming off. And then after many hours a knock at the door. End of chapter.

I found the trickiest thing about writing it was indicating how he was sensitive to her openiness, while still being the aggressor. And I only had one POV to work with.

 

BabesJJ

Senior Member
We are having dinner and if I could make a royal coat of arms insignia it would be an owl and a peach. Meanwhile I am sadly an ENTP. And if you understand meyers briggs I will blather on at another time. if you have 2 communication links overall understanding is very easy. Anyhoo, more later, now my family isn't expecting me to be the evenings entertainment.

your fan both of you the owl and the peach
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
I had to chuckle when I saw this thread come up...very timely for me. I just finished writing a sex scene for my MC and her new love interest -- their first time. I wasn't sure how to write it, but decided to write it as I would wish to read it. It took one and a half chapters.
3QQ1GPQOUjtn_VQvpo-UWxeDkbxZ8ySoMqAcalCQgOIRwqeIJ2omCNtMjz4Sl5XDl1QC18ezOIwKh5KxdJuo59ty9Ne4-dHWqeyADhSM45pMGuA6u_RljF734BrFHpTdBe-lO_nm


They had been dating for two weeks, are busy professionals and not yet found the opportunity to be intimate at all. Only one kiss at the door at the end of one date. But a friend invites them away for the weekend. So once they fly out of NYC, they leave work and everything else behind, and are now in neutral territory. What fun I had! It takes place in a luxury hotel over two days. Because they got in late on Friday night after a five hour flight and a visit with their friends, they headed down that path, but she fell asleep from exhaustion on the first night. So they finally get to it during the following day, starting in the morning after a nice long breakfast. Writing from my FMC POV, I included many of her thoughts. AND most importantly their conversations. He's incredibly turned on by her mind, and vice versa. But I only write up to the clothes coming off. And then after many hours a knock at the door. End of chapter.

I found the trickiest thing about writing it was indicating how he was sensitive to her openiness, while still being the aggressor. And I only had one POV to work with.



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, It’s so fun to read this! I bet it was a blast! One and a half chapters! Swoon! That sounds so interesting. So you’re writing from her POV, yes? And indicating or aware of his sensitivity to her openness? Wow tricky and sexy! Love it!

Well owl... this peach needs to go write more sex scenes for her murdered prostitute. I also think it’s best like that, write it how you would want to read it.
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
We are having dinner and if I could make a royal coat of arms insignia it would be an owl and a peach. Meanwhile I am sadly an ENTP. And if you understand meyers briggs I will blather on at another time. if you have 2 communication links overall understanding is very easy. Anyhoo, more later, now my family isn't expecting me to be the evenings entertainment.

your fan both of you the owl and the peach

Oh this is the best!

I will be hunting up a peach avatar pic later in honor of all of this awesomeness! This thread has made me SO happy this morning!

Okay, so all of us intuitive girls need to get dinner together and each lady who has written in this thread is a mature and awesome intuitive woman. Emma, you, me, and Taylor! Oh what fun we’d have! And we all know about MBTI. Writing and MBTI and characterization and interesting people and music as well for at least 3 of us... Babes would you be interested in going to a concert too? If not we will love you just as much as when we get back. There would be endless things to talk about. Sorry to our I (introvert) sisters, would you guys also be interested? Well... it’s just so fun in my imagination anyway. I find I need to go there in my brain and get permission from us all to have dinner and a get-away in my brain even though it’s just my imagination talking. Lol. Girls? Lol!
 

EternalGreen

Senior Member
I'm writing a make-out scene and trying to make it as erotic as possible before the inevitable scene in the bed chambers.

Once I reach that point, I'll probably keep it "r-rated." This part of the story isn't "about" the characters having sex. It's about them trying to get away with it living in a historical context. That's what's more interesting.

I might overwhelm the reader with sensory data in that chapter. By that I mean all five senses and even a sense of orientation and balance.

I worry this will make the MS (more) difficult to publish. We'll see later on.
 

BabesJJ

Senior Member
Here it goes giant Myers-Briggs blather and tie it in with male and female communication methods

Myers Briggs ie Carl Jung

When I was in college there was a professor who tested everyone with the Myers Briggs. It was developed by a mother daughter team during the cold war as a tool to try to match government workers and soldiers to jobs that they might be a good fit. The mother was a psychologist and had always had ideas about personality traits could be defined. She had thousands of index cards with some sort of observations or something. Anyway she was introverted and she has one daughter who was introverted and married an extrovert. We all have all these traits just one is often dominant. For instance I am extroverted and we often take a poll to make a decision. While introverts look inside themselves. Extroverts get energized being around people while Introverts enjoy people but the interactions might tire them and the need to be by themselves to recharge.

Anyway, Myers or Briggs I am not sure which is the mother or which is the daughter. Anyway her husband invented the wind tunnel and was connected in government circles. So she was given money to research these personality traits. Ultimately her testing was successful but she asked that it not be used for government workers so at some point it was stopped for government workers etc. The Meyers Briggs family I read somewhere recently that they are not going to continue the tests anymore as they are sick of the whole thing it sounded like.
I do remember that when Meyers-Briggs read Carl Jungs book about architypes she was shocked as it was so similar to her research and
wrote him and was afraid that people would think she just copied him. And he was very kind to her and wrote back that these are naturally observable facts and it would make sense that other people saw them too.

So the categories are Introverted Extroverted, Thinking or Feeling, Intuition (N) Sensory, Judgement Perception. And all are all of these things we just usually have a dominant way of interacting with the world. The lady that tested us gave the example of like a parent to a child. The dominant characteristic is like the parent and the child is the lesser character. So for instance the parent says lets have a salad for lunch and the child says lets have spaghetti. The child is heard but the parent is in charge and they have a salad. So as far as male female characterization.
She told us that 80% of women process by feeling and 80% of men process by thinking. So our culture and society has developed around these norms in society. Although that leaves 20% of women who are thinking like me and 20% of men who are feeling like Bill Clinton. We still have
both but the dominant one is the one that is how we communicate with the world,.

Feeling women often see thinking women as having a defect. And often see the problem and will act as interpreters of feelings to thinking women. and thinking women often seek out sort of empath friends as it is so socially unexpected and almost unacceptable for women to respond in a thinking interface with the world. And the same for feeling men. They are sometimes seen as effeminate. And vice versa for women being seen as masculine. And of course these are wide generalizations. For me being and ENTP is I am in my head., Oh all the
senses can be measured except intuition. They can not measure intuition. It is almost like being psychic. You just know. Sensory people
like to see the evidence I always think that they love massages. I think my husband is ITSP. I am not sure as he has never taken a test.
They have tests online for free. I wouldnt pay for one. I have heard of people doing meyers briggs guess on written characters in books.

I have also heard of suggestions to myer-briggs all your characters. I havent gotten that far but it did cross my mind to do that after thinking
about this. Oh last thoughts. Ah, we interface with each other. and if we have 3 matching characteristics communication is easier. For instance an ENFP and and ENTP would have an easy connection. While people with only 1 matching characteristic or sometimes even none it is more work to communicate still possible. Anyway, the lady that tested us followed us all year she was doing her PhD around something using
the results somehow. And she said to me thinking women often didn't stay in the career I had chosen at the time. and moved on. I have
struggled with my first career choice and now embrace it in middle age. She was right though I sometimes felt like an imposter.

Anyway I am almost Meyers Brigged out.
 
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Taylor

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I'm writing a make-out scene and trying to make it as erotic as possible before the inevitable scene in the bed chambers.

Once I reach that point, I'll probably keep it "r-rated." This part of the story isn't "about" the characters having sex. It's about them trying to get away with it living in a historical context. That's what's more interesting.

I might overwhelm the reader with sensory data in that chapter. By that I mean all five senses and even a sense of orientation and balance.

I worry this will make the MS (more) difficult to publish. We'll see later on.

Yes, depends on your target market. But you are a great sensory writer, so it will be a treat I'm sure!
 
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