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writing about "knowing" (1 Viewer)

MommaKat

Senior Member
The MC doesn't want to say too much about her druidh gifts, although she knows that MC2 ...knows (see, too many knows here.
Trying to figure out how to reword it to reduce the redundancy here

“I know her time is short, but I believe that she may yet surprise you once she is in her home, surrounded by the energies of calm and healing. I have truly enjoyed caring for your grandmother, she taught me so much, you know.” She hesitated, not knowing how much Ian knew about her gifts or that of his grandmother, she only knew that he knew and had understanding of the powers she harbored.
 

bdcharles

Wɾ¡ʇ¡∩9
Staff member
Media Manager
Hmm, maybe think about removing filtering words, and fill the gaps with character voice and thoughts and other little externalities. If you have established the MC's POV already, readers will "be" her. Then you can present the stuff she knows as-is, rather then through the filter of her being repeatedly aware of it. Perhaps something like:

“Yes, her time is short, but she may yet surprise you once she is in her home, surrounded by the energies of calm and healing. I have truly enjoyed caring for your grandmother. She taught me so much, you know.” She hesitated. How much Ian grasped about her gifts or that of his grandmother was still a mystery. He had understanding of the powers she harbored, sure, but with luck that might be rudimentary, if that. He might not even be aware she had such abilities. She pinged a hairbow thoughtfully towards the gaping cosmic maw. Yes, this may work out after all.



:)
 

Non Serviam

WF Veterans
Oh sorry, I misread the question. Let me try again.

She hesitated, uncertain how much Ian knew about her gifts or his grandmother's. All she could be sure of was that he knew and had understanding of the powers she harbored.
 
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