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Wrestling Wannabe (1 Viewer)

mammamaia

Senior Member
jc... most folks [myself included] don't like to have to chase down people's work to give them feedback on it...

it's much better for you to paste what you want us to critique here, in the post...

hugs, maia
 

jimmycracker

Senior Member
Alright, here.


EXT. SUBURBS - DAY

The neighborhood is upscale and peaceful. Beyond a white picket fence surrounding a front yard sits an enormous saint bernard. He's asleep and growling.

DAVIS, DANNY, COLEMAN and MICHAEL, all about 11 or 12, stand on the sidewalk talking amongst themselves. Davis is a scrawny looking punk, Danny a well dressed boy with long bangs, and Coleman is a bored Jewish kid with a yamaka and accent. Michael is a little taller than them.

DAVIS

My dad said never insult a saint bernard. He said they can tear out your whole stomach with one swipe.

DANNY

Mike will do anything, just watch.

MICHAEL

I'll be okay.

DAVIS

5 dollars on the bernard.

COLEMAN

You're a dumbass. Look at his fucking face!

The dog drools, forming a small puddle.

DAVIS

200 pounds! Mike is what–

MICHAEL

140. I just want to see if I can do it.

Beat.

COLEMAN

Alright, hurry up.

Michael climbs up the fence, gazes down at the growling dog, then closes his eyes and hops off.

DAVIS

Mike, ten seconds!

The dog suddenly awakes. He sees Michael, growls and slowly gets up. Michael crouches down in a wrestler's position and circles around the dog.

A teenage boy on a bicycle goes by, sees what's going on then stops to check it out.

Michael lunges for the dog and lands on top of him. The dog kicks and pushes forcefully as Michael attempts to hold him down. Soon they're both rolling on the grass.

Gradually more kids come by, see what's going on and watch in awe.

Michael is soon exhausted. The dog gets on top of Michael and licks his face.

DAVIS

Go Mike! Get him in a choke holder!

COLEMAN

1, 2...

With all his strength, Michael suddenly rolls back around and gains advantage. He struggles to keep him down.

DANNY

That's it, Mike! Pin him! Pin him!

Michael continues struggling. A KID, 8 years old, sees a car heading their way in the distance..

KID

Car!

Davis turns and squints through the distance.

DAVIS

Oh no, Mr. Adams.

DANNY

Mike, he's coming back! Hurry up!

Michael hears, then tries his best to pin the dog down. He manages to get him in a crutch and hold him to the ground.

DAVIS

He's got him! 1, 2, 3...

COLEMAN

Later.

Coleman and a couple passerby's run away.

DAVIS

6, 7, 8...

DANNY

Pin him, Mike! Pin him!

The car is pulling up. MR. ADAMS yells out of his car.

MR. ADAMS

What do you think you're doing?

DAVIS

...10! RUN!

Mr. Adams stumbles out. All the kids scatter. Some jump onto his car and run off the hood. Michael leaps off the dog and runs for the fence, still being chased by the bernard. He climbs up, jumps off and runs away as fast as he can. Mr. Adams tries to chase him but he loses breath and falls down.

Mr. ADAMS

Kids... bastards.

Michael stops near a mailbox, out of breath. Davis and Danny see him and run up to him enthusiastically.

DAVIS

That fight was fucking sweet! You kicked ass! Awesome!

DANNY

I told you he could do it.

Danny puts his arm around Michael.

DAVIS

My friend's dad has a doberman pinscher. You gotta fight him next, ok?

Beat.

Michael starts to laugh.

DAVIS

You okay, Mike?

MICHAEL

That ruled, god.

DANNY

Who are you gonna do next?

DAVIS

Yeah, who will it be?

Beat.

Michael puts his fists together. Close up on his face: He grins dreamily, lost in another world.

MICHAEL

I want the doberman!

Michael walks off. Davis and Danny look at each other, a little surprised.


INT. COLLEGE GYM - NIGHT

SUPERIMPOSE: 1970, Los Angeles

Michael is now 22 and vigorously wrestling a robust, brown-haired opponent of the same age on the hard gym floor. They're both tall and powerfully built.

Spectators in the stands cheer excitedly. A portly athlete already in uniform is gulfing down a bowl of spaghetti.

Michael swerves behind his opponent and quickly gets him in a half nelson, locking his right arm and gripping his head. Michael pushes him to the floor; his opponent quickly tries to form a bridge with his body but Michael turns him over, puts his forearm under his elbow and lays his hand on his back, then thrusts forward, pinning him to the ground as 5 seconds pass.

The referee blows a whistle and the spectators cheer even louder. Michael and his opponent stand up and sportingly pat each other's backs, albeit hard.

An assistant coach, HARRISON, wearing a baseball cap and a classy sports jacket stands near the exit doors, grinning.

Michael walks toward the exit doors, his left leg limping uncomfortably, and throws his helmet off on a pile of backpacks near the stands, revealing a thick mass of brown hair that reaches his shoulders and a rough, burly face.

A young acne-ridden freshman boy passes by.

FRESHMAN

Mike, great meet today! Great to have you back!

MICHAEL

Thank you, Kip.

An excited 40 year old man with a mustache and scrunchy bucket hat runs to him from the stands.

MAN

So glad you're back, Mike! Hit the season hard!

MICHAEL

Yes sir. We'll give it our best.

MAN

...Your leg alright?

MICHAEL

It's alright. Hey, one sec, Dan.

Michael approaches the doors quickly. A look of aching turmoil appears on his face.

As soon as Michael reaches the doors HARRISON gives him a firm salute, pleased.

HARRISON

Marvelous, marvelous. You worked your butt off today. I guess that's why we missed you.

MICHAEL

Ah, cut it out.

HARRISON

So what are you gonna do?

MICHAEL

(fidgety)

I don't know. I'll probably think about it.

HARRISON

You'd make a good coach. You work remarkably well with all these new amateurs pouring in.

MICHAEL

I guess so.

HARRISON

I noticed your leg... what's wrong?

MICHAEL

Nothing. Hey, I gotta go. I'll check back with you friday, okay? It'll be just like old times.

HARRISON

Fine, Michael. Go on.

Michael hops out the door, and Harrison turns around to see the portly athlete crawl out of the wrestling circle clutching his stomach and throw up all over the floor. Everyone groans.

INT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT

Michael is chatting with a young, tired looking secretary at a counter. She has short blond hair and wears flashy gold earrings; her name is LILY.

MICHAEL

I have an appointment with Dr. Marvin.

LILY

Name?

MICHAEL

Michael Lester.

LILY

I'll let him know you're here.

Lily picks up her phone, dials a number and waits for a ring while Michael fidgets uncomfortably.

LILY

A Michael Lester is here to see you.

Lily waits then hangs up the phone passively.

LILY

He'll be with you shortly.

Michael nods flimsily. They both wait, and Lily notices Michael's incessant shaking.

LILY

Are you alright?

MICHAEL

Tired. Really, really tired...

LILY

(inquisitive)

Were you...?

MICHAEL

Yeah, I enlisted. Don't have that post vietnam syndrome though. Just feeling kind of odd today.

LILY

Sorry.

MICHAEL

I get that question a lot. I have the filthy, shitty hair of a soldier, I think. I gotta get it cut.

Lily looks embarrassed. Michael smiles to relieve the tension.

MICHAEL

I bet you've seen a lot of nurses leave here.

Lily nods.

MICHAEL

That's too bad.

They both stand there silently. Michael continues twitching.

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Michael sits uncomfortably on an examining table. DR. MARVIN stands in front of him.

DR. MARVIN

What seems to be the problem?

MICHAEL

My leg, it's killing me.

DR. MARVIN

The interior, the skin?

MICHAEL

Well, thing is... I was in the war for about 6 months. We were near a roadway and I got burned by a punji stake in a booby trap.

DR. MARVIN

Did you seek medical attention?

MICHAEL

No, unfortunately.

DR. MARVIN

Were you in pain?

Pause.

MICHAEL

Yeah, I was.

DR. MARVIN
(urgent voice)

Show me the leg.

Michael reaches and pulls up his left pant leg, revealing a bloated wound, dark red, with black blotches smeared across like olive oil.
 

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