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Wildwood (1 Viewer)

Bilston Blue

WF Veterans
This is my first attempt at writing a novel and I'm not a great writer. This is the "first Draft" and needs editing. I just want an honest opinion, because I'm really tired and fed up with this story and I don't even know if i should continue or not.

I haven't read this yet, and despite what you wrote before the story starts I will have a look over it, but have a think about what your post makes potential readers think. If you're fed up with it that doesn't exactly inspire people to want to read it. When posting don't be defensive about your writing, let the readers decide. I urge you to remove this, it may be the difference between getting a few decent reviews and getting none. I'll read over it when I have a little more time.

Scott.
 

Bilston Blue

WF Veterans
If I'm honest I got halfway through. It's heavy going. Not the story so much, more the writing. There are sentences that don't make sense grammatically. At times I'm thinking the piece is rushed or typed out quickly and late at night, at others I'm wondering if the English language perhaps isn't your first language. It reads almost like you stated in your intro, and it isn't a bad thing you feel that way. I got three or four chapters into my first attempt before binning it. There's a part of me that thinks maybe the project is a bit on the big size at the moment, and you could maybe try writing shorter stories and use these to develop your use of language and grammar and to learn how to craft a story from beginning to end. But, whatever you do, keep writing and writing. Read lots too, and learn that way.

Good luck

Scott
 

qwertyman

WF Veterans
I concur with everything Bilston says, I didn't get as far as he did but for what it's worth here are a a few comments on the first three paragraphs.
#
You have some good work here but it’s buried in a lot of clumsy grammar and it’s difficult to dig out .(I am assuming English is your second language, but it still needs to be sorted out) . Your structure needs work, it lacks a storyteller’s instinct. You over relate. Have more faith in the reader and recognise the strain on the reader when you drift into repetition and – here we go – angst - as in the opening . If you really need to include the 'angst' bring it out of the story, don't blurt it out in the first paragraph.

IMO scrap the first paragraph and start as follows:-

The last day of December—that was mainly uninviting stretch of winter when people spoke less to each other and slept longer. (good) Wildwood is different from other places, my father used to say, where the sun rises to vivify the day. He seemed to loved Wildwood not for its small town dullness where we breathed the same whispered gossip but the untamed forest that borders the dreary town and unfurls across this hollow land.

Seven years ago we built the bridge but nobody came to Wildwood.
#

The last line tells the reader of the isolation and the hopes and aspirations of the townsfolk. It may not be part of your story but I included it to demonstrate 'storytelling', which, IMO, this early in the story, you need to include to intice the reader.

I note this is your first post, if you want people to comment further you need to contribute to others posts… that’s the way it works.
Anyway, keep at it, you have something it just needs work and revision.
 
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