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Why are you breaking up with the person above you? (2 Viewers)

Bruno Spatola

Senior Member
The love-making is obnoxiously good, but I just can't stand your collection of cat relics. D'you know what it's like having all those eyes staring at you wherever you go? I can't take it anymore! I feel like Simone Simon in Curse of the Cat People goddammit.
 

belthagor

Senior Member
I'm breaking up with you for messing with my coffee, I asked for a couple of sugar cubes and you only put in one.
 

TJ1985

Senior Member
I cannot, I will not, be with someone who thinks it's "bizarre" that I like to put on an old-timey train conductors costume and blow my whistle before declaring with passion "Alllllll aboard!" I tried to tell ya I was saving up for a model train, but it made no difference to you. Fine! I refuse to sell you a ticket to Marietta, Atlanta, water and coal loading in Chattanooga, proceeding to Knoxville, Kingsport and Bowling Green, departing at 2:45, with lunch and light refreshments served in dining car four!
 

Harper J. Cole

Creative Area Specialist (Speculative Fiction)
Staff member
Chief Mentor
It was a mistake pursuing a relationship with you. To be blunt, you don't look as much like my mother as I first thought you did.
 

TJ1985

Senior Member
I'm getting tired of you slapping me and then covering yourself by screaming "Mosquito!" Also, I suspect my dog is not *that* flatulent in reality...
 

Harper J. Cole

Creative Area Specialist (Speculative Fiction)
Staff member
Chief Mentor
You're my dream woman in many ways ... but there's one insurmountable problem. Your beard. It's too short.
 

Teb

Senior Member
If I were to travel to the furthest corners of the universe and meet strange and new creatures, some of which would undoubtably try to eat me, I would still be happier than I ever have been near you.

How do I launch this thing?
 

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