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Who is the Real Me? (1 Viewer)

M

moo

It has been a long and strange journey to get to this point. For the longest time I couldn’t even imagine myself in this position, college that is.
My name is Brett Mumaw. I am 28 years old. I was born and raised here in southern Indiana. I am the baby, the 2nd oldest, and an only child. Are you confused yet? My parents were divorced before I even knew what divorced was. They both remarried and thus the confusing background. I am a graduate of Floyd Central H.S. class of 1994. I was a member of the ski club and also played golf with the team for four years. Yes, I did graduate on time, which my mother still to this day probably has a hard time believing. I guess you could say I wasn’t the best of students throughout my high school career. I had way more important things to be doing than studying, like partying. I did have a lot of fun doing it but wish I would have taken advantage of the opportunities presented to me at the time. You see, I was actually a pretty good golfer. I think if I would have applied myself a little bit more on the course and a lot more in the classroom I might have been able to receive a scholarship somewhere. Hind sight is twenty-twenty.
After graduation I got a job at UPS and also had a job as a cook at a local restaurant. I never even thought about college for many different reasons. One, I was so happy to be done with high school that the thought of going to college was crazy to me. And besides that my mother said she wouldn’t pay for it until I sat out for a year or two. That was one of the best decisions she ever made because I think it would have definitely been wasted money. It was also during this time that I started to drink heavily and experiment with different drugs. I would drink and drive on a regular basis and not think twice about it. I ended up getting fired from UPS which by the way is pretty hard to do with the union backing you. I decided that I was going to look for a job that I could make a career out of. There were only a few things that I was good at. So I got a job as a shop assistant at Hidden Creek Golf Club eventually working my way up to 1st Assistant Golf Professional. I was even going through the apprentice program that is offered by the PGA. I only had one problem. I was still drinking like a fish and experimenting with harder drugs. That’s when my life really became chaotic. Alcohol and drugs were taking over my life. I was ruining relationships with people that were very dear to me. I was taking on a role at the golf course with much more responsibility and yet was becoming more and more irresponsible every day. I began to blame everyone else for my problems because I myself could not see that I had a problem. It wasn’t until the last time that I got arrested (four times total if anyone is counting) that I finally realized there might be something wrong. I remember it like it was yesterday. I called my mom from jail drunk and crying like a little baby telling her to call my boss and tell him I wouldn’t be there and that I quit. She didn’t tell him that. She didn’t need to. They fired me the next day when I got there. You would think that news would have been devastating but it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was free. I got a new job at a place called Pit Crew, Inc. Unfortunately, I still wasn’t done partying. I had little responsibility though and that was fine with me. I came late or hung over all the time but it seemed to be OK with the boss so it was great. I kept going for about six more months. Then I got sentenced for my earlier arrest (six months of house arrest). My whole life changed during that time. It was the first time in about six or seven years that I had been completely sober. I had a chance to gather my thoughts and realized that I was 25 years old and a convict. This is definitely not how I imagined my life when I was a child. So I decided to try and turn my life around. It worked fine while I was on house arrest but as soon as I got off I was back to my old habits. It took about another year to year and a half to finally quit. I finally decided that in order for me to achieve anything in this life I had to stop, and I did. Do I miss it? Not one single bit. I wish I would have stopped long before then, but beggars can’t be choosers. After I stopped I started reading more. I talked with my mom and told her I was thinking of going to college and she told me that she would pay for it. For that I am eternally grateful. How could someone go through all the grief and stress that I put her through and still love me enough to do that. Words cannot express the love that I feel for my mother. There is no way that I will ever consciously let her down again.
So here I am, in college. For the longest time I didn’t think I could do it. Now, I don’t see how I can’t.
 
C

Cassi

congratulations

Congratulations on getting to college, being sober and reconciling your past, after a long, hard journey. The inspiration to write has often come from some of my darkest moments and have turmed them into something creative and useful in my life. I hope you find the same. Look forward to reading you.
 
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