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What it feels like to be tall - Humorous Essay (1 Viewer)

americanwriter

Senior Member
Consolidation and complete sentences can help foster clarity and understanding.

How about using your last statement, edited, as your opening one. Here's a new take on your unique and humorous perspective.


One day I will die. I will not be surprised if my coffin, like the world around me, does not fit me comfortably.

Growing up, people have often mistaken me as being five years older than I really am. At the age of four, I was tall enough to ride roller coasters. By the age of eight, I was able to get into the weight-lifting gym unaccompanied. By age ten, I was borrowing my dad's cloths. At thirteen, I could pass for eighteen and get away with ordering alcohol from restaurants. At fourteen I learned I had an underdeveloped skill -- I could scrape dust off the ceiling with my fingertips without using a ladder. I realized, if the ceiling suddenly collapsed I would be the first to know. At fifteen, people stopped asking me, "Do you play basketball?" and began asking, "Where do you play basketball?" Everyone assumes that being tall is a blessing, in a world where buildings, doorways, automobiles, public seating, and even clothing are designed for the average, being above average can be frustrating.

At my school, I am the tall kid. On the basketball team I stand out as the tall white kid. I have learned to ignore the saliva dripping from coach's mouth when he begs me to play, but my height seems to precede me off the court more so than on. In my classes I am forced to sit sideways in my seat so my knees won't cramp. Occasionally, teachers and students trip over my size sixteen feet, despite my attempt to hide them, as they walk down the aisle. I recall my second grade teacher having to look up to speak to me, just as I remember looking down when talking to my sixth grade teacher. In the eighth grade a fellow student drew a picture of the entire class. The second tallest person in the class was depicted knee height to me, while my head was in the clouds. Artistic license or overexaggeration? My height has often proven a rude awakening to the injustices of being tall in an average man's world, as rude an awakening as is sleepily hitting one's head on the school bus's ceiling every morning.

The world outside the classroom simply reinforces the uniqueness of my self. As a kid, hide and seek was a burdensome game. Adequate hiding places were hard to come by. While my friends could tuck themselves away into cabinets and closets, I was forced to resort to hiding under the bed like a buffoon. Relatives, traveling from New York to visit us, would proffer the obligatory platitudes to my fraternal twin, "You've gotten so big" while my height stuns them into silence. And then there is the shadow of guilt that follows me even into the movie theater. I find myself feeling bad for the person who has to sit behind me.

Being tall, I am often the object of attention. Sometimes it is unwanted. Sometimes it's a mixed blessing. Recenlty, a cute blonde girl came up to me in the hallway at school.

"Hey, I know you." Before I could reply she spoke again. "You're really tall, you know?"

"Yes, I know."

"How does it feel to be tall?" she asked. The first thing that came to my mind?

"Where do I begin?"
 

Atom

Senior Member
American: Good suggestions, i copied and pasted your take on my story/essay and put it in microsoft word, for reference when im rewriting mine. I like the beginning and the end, it makes the in between alot neater too. Thanks again.

Raging: Thanks, ill PM Maia later tonight.

Simple Man: Your a curious one... how tall are you anyway?
 

mammamaia

Senior Member
After editing, what would be my first step in getting this published in a teen magazine?

1. get someone knowledgeable [no one you're related to or sleeping with!] to go over the piece and make sure it's ready to be submitted...

2. go to www.duotrope.com and make a list of all the magazines your piece might be accepted...

3. write a brilliant query letter [have the same person check that out] and send it out till you find a taker... be sure to follow the submission guidelines for each place you submit to... they're not all the same...

best of luck, maia
 

RoundEye

Senior Member
I can relate to this, I'm a little under 6'3". Always the tallest one in class, and now I wear biker boots, so that makes me appear so much taller.

I've heard that "You're so tall, do you play basketball?" too often in life.

The best reply I had was something I read in the paper,

"You're so short, do you play miniature golf?"

They usually never mentioned basketball again.
 
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