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Walking with Dither (1 Viewer)

Gofa

Friends of WF
Two minutes D
learnt something yesterday that has stuck and will become a guiding light from here
i will frame it for writing
its all about expectations and building them in such a way that you inheritantly Set your self up for failure
i will for an hour or or i will
two minutes
i will undertake to write creatively for two minutes each day
exercise for 2 minutes each day
I stay with writing
2 minutes a day
if you cant creatively write for just two minutes a day the lets face it you are no writer
maybe i will go longer but im happy building a habit on two minutes
yeah D I can do this
not waiting for inspiration just throw two minutes at it and lets see what may come
i can spare two minutes
Sure I'm gaming myself but I am not allowing for push back from good old negative inner me

i will keep you posted on how the two minute habit builds in a sneaky way those things I would like to achieve within me
 

Gofa

Friends of WF
Two minutes on America
Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway
you google things to do and this turn up close and doable So i changed direction and did this

i have a convertible, it was close to autumn so i wore a jacket and dropped the lid
45 milies an hour you set the auto speed thingy and just watch 400 miles go by of
the nicest scenery ive looked at in a while
top down you see a lot
when ever i came up upon a slow driver i pulled over let them get ahead and looking at another's rear bumper was not the game for this day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrE8UOSwvbk

after you have watched this D you will have as much of a memory as I do
just a few minutes no need to go the whole video i found but looking its the place true dnough

D I drove here singing John Denver songs for the better part of a day
as take me home country road is this stretch of highway

Almost heaven, West Virginia
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze


 

dither

Member
WF Veterans
Ahem!!!

"Just watch 400 miles of the nicest scenery that I've looked at in a while go by", I think, would prefer.

Now come on Gofa, concentrate. :roll:
 

Gofa

Friends of WF
You need to google New Zealand Scenery
but my driving the blue ridge mountain parkway was pretty good by New Zealand Standards and it was about 400 miles
not the video i showed but close enough
 

Gofa

Friends of WF
Been a while D
lets not rush into things
Us pensioners need to space stuff out so one corner of the day does not get too cramped and another too desolate
eeeewww that sounds all a bit sad
its a funny old thing having been defined by what you do for so long that once its gone from the table you are more a rooster that used ta
although recently ive been invoking my old day job skills and its a pleasure to see that they haven’t rusted up
i wish i could write here that i understood the meaning of life having lived now long enough that my younger self thought for sure i would understand now
but nuh
thinking about that is like herding cats
i love the idea that i have still got it
the problem immediately there after is
shit do i remember where i left it last
cause if its like my keys all too often i dont have a clue

i still encourage my self with
“it will be all find in the morning”
but in truth sometimes it takes till afternoon to work the kinks out of my knees
to all those youthful readers
look after your knees you are going to miss them when you get old
and to you further a warning that sadly i never received
becareful riding a motorised skate board very very quickly on tar seal in your Sixties
its dangerous and it you fall off many of the things you will like to use later get broken
ever heard this
nope me either
see no one told me
they put government health warnings on a packet of cigarettes and use by dates on stuff in the fridge
but a simple skull and cross bones if over 60 years old could well have prevented this

mind you as i have explained to my wife while travelling up a one way street against the traffic
I look upon those One Way signs as being just a suggestion
but let us turn to things of less consequence

or not as case maybe

just had breakfast delivered to the front porch and to be eaten while looking and commenting on all and sundry whom walk by
i remember you D writing local social commentary pieces about curtain peekers on you street
i have to admit our culture or maybe just me might not blend in as well
why i took the curtains down and dont care who looks in
they can mentally dress me if they have a problem

as an aside
years ago as a student in Melbourne Australia working through summer break to survive another year
i lived in a rental on the corner of a busy street

i loved watching so eventually i pulled all the lounge furniture out onto the porch and all flat mates and sundry of an evening would sit talk and make up stories of all the people that stopped in their cars at the lights

if you got glared at well we would go ahead and make their day

ah yes the good old days when men were men and i had long hair and beads around my neck

so my challenge to you is to clip in here a short observation of your last interesting bus ride or anything else that allows me to look out your eyes

why because the view is extraordinary and a thing of real delight for me to read

i will leave this with you

cheers D

PS the fence was awesome Go you good thing

I have a draw unit in the garage that is supposed to sit under the washing machine that is two thirds built
im on my third go as it is a mixture of I run out of puff to I cant find my way in the instructions
what i lose in ability though i make up for with tenacity or i just hate quitting

its all about positioning your audience
i tell my wife its a weeks job at least if i dont rush it
so when the 20 minute assembly is finished in 4 days my skills are heralded as awesome
note to former job skills
set your clients expectations long and deliver inside them

example you tell your wife that the quote to fix the fence came in at 500 pounds
and that you are happy that you went ahead as they said earliest start date was January next year
See Managing is a skill that can be learned

more soon D

your irreverently

G
 
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dither

Member
WF Veterans
Gofa, it might seem sad to you but I totally [get] that.

The meaning of life, does there have to be a meaning? Sorry but I don't believe that there is any ... "meaning" ... or any "point" to it all. But that's just me.

Wondering where you left things last, boy do I know about that one.

Knees? I've been taking Glucosamine tablets for years, they work for me I think.

Motorised skateboarding, I love that thought and wonder what a cartoonist could do with that.

"Breakfast delivered to the front porch", oh how some guys live.

The fence... will do... f'now :dispirited: and "good thing" I most certainly am not.

Quitting is what I do and tenacity is just too much effort, it took months of planning before I patched up that fence panel, the job itself must have taken all of fifteen minutes, and I only did it because the next door neighbour had been bitching about it to his wife who then mentioned it to mine and, well, chain of command, you know how it goes.

I don't [do] audiences OR expectations.

Irreverence appreciated,

dither...


Afterthought,
I rarely bus anywhere nowadays, I got no place to go, and with this covid thing going on, if I can't buy it in town I do without.

Ciao Gofa.
 

Gofa

Friends of WF
Three score less fifty-six years ago I start having a walk and a talk with you fair Dither

Along the way of walking here i have told a bit of truth and flirted with talking of the reality within which I have lived my life. Ive started a blog of show and tell and maybe it belongs here rather than hidden away.[FONT=&Verdana]
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24,000 plus times this thread here has been read. Honestly D thats a lot of people [FONT=&Verdana]
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You have told me to shift my conversation regarding my reality here as i acknowledge its place and in all probability this i will do [FONT=&Verdana]
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As to my reality oh yes my reality is “Special”

Like Forest Gump, my momma always said I was special and I knew to keep my mouth shut about it [FONT=&Verdana]
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When i was young i was often accused of cheating. Thing is I cheated and occasionally people got suspicious. But, I was cheating so as to lose. Yup figured out if you win all the time no one wants to play with you no more but I digress other than to say knowing too much pisses people off so you learn to keep your mouth shut. Oh and parents Oh Dear interrupting to correct them as a small child was not a life affirming activity either. I just know stuff, always have, and i came to know that telling people had a down side. Mostly a clip around the ear or sent from the room when adult egos felt threatened. I thought i was helping oooops it ended in tears before bed time

So D it is with reluctance than i now in the sunset years want to do this show and tell thing. Its funny you just get pissed off with holding it in. Further you reject yourself and some how need to label things as wrong or bad and it hurts in a very strange way

And by way of example, a few decades ago after my separation from my first wife I had this friend who now saw me as available and invited me to a fetish ball as in Kink. And feeling adventurous I went. Dress up was easy. My best Armani double breasted suit jacket white shirt and tie. Day job wear. And black knickers but thereafter fishnet stockings and my black kung fu shoes. My three daughters fell about the floor in horror when i showed them. I was so proud of my cleverness as here i was hidden and yet on show in plain site.

You want to do one thing that scares you? Go to one of these functions for the first time. There was at least a thousand people there.

Thing is these people accepted who they were. And in this acceptance you could see a personal completeness. Something i have always lacked. In denial too much gets in reflex pushed into the corners and loses function.

Again i am talking to myself here. My browse knitted as i one finger type on my ipad understanding the implication of shoving much of me into the corners.
Example, I once had a client call me and after saying gidday. He asked. You know its me before you pick up the phone don't you.
I was still for 5 seconds considering options. This was a clever, insightful guy and lying to him would screw trust which is was very important in my day job.

So my answer ? As follows

“Okay I will tell you the truth but its not something we ever discuss”.

“Yes I do. Now why are you ringing me”. And onward we went.

But back to the ball

I looked at these people with fascination. How could they be so comfortable, where i am so conflicted. You see in the company of others like me i still feel so very different and that in all truth that saddens me all the more

As an example. You watch people with sight totally believing there are no Aliens. Of course there are. The evidence is overwhelming. And yet no one seems to accept the obvious.
But they would take over. Why ? I ask
To me earth is a bus stop on the way across the galaxy. They get off the number 7 bus and climb aboard the number 10. But they would want to take over. Its a bus stop damn it. Who wants to own a bus stop. Transit terminal. If we look like we are going to blow it up they might take an interest but otherwise why bother they are always just passing through.

Again i digress.

So D here i am looking in the mirror darkly. Saying, so you think this will help to show and tell. To own up.

Answer is yes.

It helps in the telling and the writing not so much from the reading or listening. Its funny but trying to be somebody gets tiring. Putting that persona down is an act of will. A decision unto self and from there inner barriers fall. Well i will get back to you on this but ? Shit i hope so. I would like to acknowledge any person that has not come out of the closet. Its awful eh. You aren’t able to be yourself. Implicit repression. Im not gay but i have my own closet of sorts that i am fumbling here to work the latch of.

Talking of sexual preference let me tell a story. I was in Hawaii in Walmart walking around amazed by the sights and sounds and stuff, endless stuff of all shapes and sizes. I had wandered off from my wife as i do blown on the wind of curiosity when I noticed the 30 something woman in-front of me. Damn she was attractive. But. I dont have much attraction to women 30 years my junior but wow how she walked, her movements enticed. Her shape as fluid. Its so easy to recall here some 10 years since. At this point the warning bells started. This is not me. This is outside my plane of reference. Ive been following this woman for a full isle transfixed and confused shaking my head, so its time to push the “Warning Will Robinson Danger Danger” button. Okay. So in response lets look around. A forty something woman was following the lady whom held my attention and intently looking at her bum with a very satisfied smile upon her face. Two and two made four very quickly. My thirty something’s lover was walking behind her and in close proximity to me, appreciating the view, and with attraction in a way that was fully foreign to my sensibilities. You are left standing there understanding there are huge aspects of femininity that are missed by a guy with a heterosexual framing.

I walked away and ten minutes later came upon this woman with out her partner near. And sorry buddy she was plain unattractive and not any way close to being in my ball park for appreciation

Welcome to a mile in my shoes. Not every thought need be my own. Not every emotion i feel within me have i generated. Not rocket science. Be close a very angry person, its not hard to buy into their anger and let feelings rise up with in you. My boundaries are a little thin and I struggle often to tell me from thee.

Just to frame. My IQ is 140 plus I have a friend in the 180s. Shit do i feel clever in his presence. He leaves the room and wow do i notice the dumb down. Whats that saying. Dont compare yourself to others lest you become vain or bitter. i dont do much vain as it is mystery surprise as to how smart i am at any given moment. Dont confuse intellectual with intelligence either. Ive met some high intellect people That can be just dumb. Paralysis by analysis trapped within their own box, where as, the rest of us get to think outside the box from time to time and as need arises

What do i do here buddy do i post in the open or continue with the letters from my closet blog. It starts to look pretty obvious

Show and tell but hidden away is not much tell and even less show.

Trapped with in my own self serving logic maybe. I did say i was getting off the bus and not looking back so i will transfer and repost the blog items here cause they are part of my conversation as I walk with you.

PS D you can always talk back buddy. Tales of trees and ships and other things

More soon
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dither

Member
WF Veterans
As always, a brilliant read and very much enjoyed. Gofa, I'm afraid you struck a chord there, with myself and a great many others I'd wager.

I wouldn't say that I ever cheated exactly, was no prodigy , but I DID play my abilities down to fit in, to be permitted to run with the herd so to speak. I know I go on about "living on a sinkie" but even then, especially then, at such an impressionable age, I knew my place. I can't complain about being particularly dis-advantaged, I wasn't, WE weren't, but I kept MY head down and got on with it, did not want to stand out one iota, acceptance and approval, not necessarily in that order, were the be all and end all.

Memories from my school days:
Being told off by teachers for talking in class, which was not entirely accurate. We'd have those questions and answers sessions, the teacher would direct a question at the class and I would often mumble or mutter the answer to who-ever was sitting beside me because I wouldn't speak up.

Another time a teacher came walking down one of the aisles between the desks, I can see him now, drawing ever closer, then as I sat there feeling as guilty as hell, he stooped and said quietly so as not to be over-heard, "you're in the wrong class mate". Things like that stay with you, and y'know what? Fifty years on, I sometimes see him in the High Street.

Taking the pee out of the clever ones and generally giving them all kinds of hell was the popular pastime of course, I passed my time with the not so clever I'm afraid. I knew which side my bread was buttered. I'm not proud of that but hey! The feelings of inferiority stung even then.

Invitations to fetish balls, invitations to ANYTHING, all that "trying, wanting desperately, to fit in", and I don't think I ever did. I even failed at failing.

There are no sexual epiphanies in my closet I'm afraid but there is a closet, locked-barred-coated with re-enforced concrete and I SHALL take it with me to the grave.

Not as interesting as your reminiscences I'm afraid Gofa but such is the power of your writing, I just had to respond.

Keep 'em coming Gofa.

dither...

Maybe there should be a "walking with Gofa" thread.
 
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Gofa

Friends of WF
Lets start this narrative based upon Dire Straits
Private Investigations Lyrics

1 It's a mystery to me

Oh isn’t this the truth D
Each day you wake up one more day behind one day less in front
Mmmmmm
And in truth not that whole bunch smarter
I do like where i am, its just i would ask about the warranty on my body
They said it was good for life but i am having my doubts
Somethings take half as long but you need to do them twice as often
And other things they used to be a great idea back when
But now you have to be crazy to roll the dice there any more
Ahh the joys of I’ve had more and done it better
But but but

2 The game commences

Aint that the truth. You watch to TV and it all a game
Politics embarrassingly self absorbed men rising to their own level of incompetence
And surrounded by other souls that are prepared to see the Emperors new clothes because they swear it makes their own dick grows bigger.

Solomon had it right
The lament of rosters that use ta
Lets go full tilt Biblical
“I have seen it all, and everything is just as senseless as chasing the wind.”
Well for me it’s more Bob Seger against the windJust running against the wind

3 For the usual fee

Oh yes what can i say my fee cup runneth over
I gave to admit i would be hard pressed to work at my chosen profession any more
I have developed Grumpy Old Man Syndrome
Quite an acute case with often severe periods of fuck you and the horse you road in on
I have to admit that visual is not the three some that i should be looking for

4 Plus expenses

Ahh yes spot the Accountant i keep all my receipts only to throw them away
There is a lesson there but it escapes me
I renewed my membership to the accountants society. I keep the certificate to ward off the chill to my chest if times get tough later on sleeping on a park bench

5 Confidential information

Ive promised myself just to write and not try to edit in my own mind. So ...
Ive been told stuff in confidence all my life. Some of it is just begs to be retold and other just best forgotten
And yet its sad how much of my life my kids have no clue of nor any awareness that their Dad does different stuff. Like writing here
Ive mentioned to my youngest that there is an email to be kept with addresses to advise that Im gone and pretty sure I am not coming back
I will leave them a few forums and passwords you never know they might appreciate

6 It's in a diary

Kept one of these years ago. Shit you read back and understand how much of your life was spent worrying about things that never happened

7 This is my investigation

Funny this line I’ve written a story totally autobiographical called the Warrior and the Child
I will Blog it unfinished as it is a work in process
Honest years in the making really
It shows, captures my investigation into that which has terrified me all my life.
And and and
I still cant define or describe what that is
Ive given it names and faces over the years the Usual Suspects but each has proved false when courage allows for me to open my eyes and find out “nope not that”

8 It's not a public inquiry

Well if i post it here it kind of is eh

9 I go checking out the reports

The rocks Ive turned over looking for rhyme and reason are legend
for example
Abducted by Aliens
I watched a TV programme on this. A guy, sound of mind, capable in life, swearing before all he had been up to the Mother Ship
Great lesson there.
I knew what he was saying was true.
But that does not alter the fact that he is fucking crazy

10 Digging up the dirt

Why if i know he is truthful ?
Cause only crazy people own up to that shit being in their life
So it was a dream too much cheese and maybe bad drugs that were never noticed being taken
Some dirt is best just left stood on as you cant dig the dirt where you are currently standing

11 You get to meet all sorts

I have a reputation for meeting weird people.
You know those guys that are chick magnets
Not me
I attract the really odd souls

12 In this line of work

Ive come to the conclusion this fact might be part of a later in life day job just on the horizon
I will get back to you D

13 Treachery and treason

Had my fill

14 There's always an excuse for it

Heres my experience There is always no good reason

15 And when I find the reason

In business its just like they cut their own dick off to save in a jar and show people how big it is or rather was cause it aint attached no more

16 I still can't get used to it

Im no choir boy but no i cant see the point
There are two valuation bases in assaying wealth
Value in Use
Value in Exchange
Worth more to own or can buy more value with money from sale

Lets face it your own dick or be it conscience, self image, inner belief, prestige
In a jar is like a buggy talking to itself in the mirror and passing its reflection food from its bowl

17 And what have you got
18 At the end of the day?
19 What have you got
20 To take away?

enough of the lyrics

Here I stand D, asking in my ipad mirror

Trying to make eye contact with myself

Oh Dear
How Sad
Never mind
As in
It aint half hot Mum

And or to quote Spock

Its life D but not as we know it

Just imagine if on the steps of heaven
St Peter asks

“So what have you learnt”

Oh dear D

I am feeling that answering

“No one told me there was going to be a test
I just survived for as long as I could
And died before needing adult diapers”

Im hoping for St Peter in checking down all the answers
Finds avoiding adult diapers to be sufficient learning for me to pass within

Sitting here having edited for line spacing i will think again about putting the Warrior and the Child in a blog
Do one thing a say that scares you
We will see








 
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Gofa

Friends of WF
Okay D you are Missing in Action but maybe the show can go on
Im still holding out for a broken computer
If I knew your address I would ship you a spare ipad
And a letter complaining about you not playing well with others

But i digress
Today i wrote a story while i amused myself hugely as part of the process
I do like this D and recognising I’m a story teller not a writer sets the bar for me as reachable
Screw punctuation and things of such like
Write it to be read like it appears in my mind

And the gap between paragraphs is because I paused in flight to look out the window seeking more of the same or a new direction
It was too much fun to be taken seriously

But back closer to home
A new year and with it pretty much the promise of more of the same
Oh the life of a pensioner every day is Sunday
And living well is the best revenge

Mind you here and now your absence casts a pall upon me so i will pause
And internally renew looking up the street to see you in your crocks
Shuffling along cider and news paper tucked under your arm
And a treat for you missus that you never let on how much you care about

Fair well Sir Knight
And I will maintain my Vigil









 

Gofa

Friends of WF
Just reread above and memory appeared out of the fog and worth capturing on the tip of my finger
PS I am upscaling my typing to fore finger plus thumb for space bar. Sick of missing the space bar and having words linked with a c, v or b

I have read sci-fi most of my life and certain authors just touch me

Clifford D Simak being in the top three

In the eighties i heard he had died and was hugely upset that i had never written to him to thank him for the many many hours of pleasure and the characters many of who i aspired to be like in this life.
As in many of his books keeping your word and following your heart was of more worth than accepting circumstance and in this vein i wrote to Clifford acknowledging he was dead but fulfilling my decade long desire to thank him

I had always said to myself i will write and i did. Delivery whilst an obstacle did not set aside my obligation to keep my word and be true to it.
Some weeks after writing i was on a Cliffird D Simak forum, simple things then as this was the early 90’s
I messaged a guy completing a biography of Clifford

I told of my heart felt desire to thank and this guy said he was going that week to talk with Clifford’s twin brother and as it turned out this brother read my letter
Funny how things come full cycle

What can I say

Im less than enamoured by the thought of Walking with Dither’s Brother than keeping it simple to just you
In late November you PM’d asking for a continuation on show and tell. I was shy and reluctant and now regretful as if a friend asks you should really make the effort and sadly D I did not

I will do better from here buddy
 

Gofa

Friends of WF
Hi D
you are gone but not forgotten buddy and maybe in passing you come look so to you goes the continuing tale
been a couple of months but feels a life time
one of my favourite songs is Pink Floyd’s “Wish you were Here”
and as i do, I will template a chat from between the lines

Just a thought you should rejoin as “In Cider” who would ever guess it was you lolololol
PS ive started drinking cider some of its not bad

so D batter up lets play ball
Or better yet lets not just now sleep beckons
see you in the other side

Ive slept

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell?


oh dear D I so totally have seen both and i will tell you the rub
seeing Heaven hurt more than seeing hell
having seen Heaven i had to leave disengage withdraw with every fibre of my being screaming please can I not stay?
as to hell oh yes had a look and you are screaming hallelujah when you get withdrawn

so i can tell the difference buddy but that does not seem to be something you should be too proud of
someone was shoving the bloody obvious down your throat for readins of their own

Blue skies from pain?

sorry this is turning into a bitch session. Blue skies loved them as a surfer sitting in the swell working on my tan squinting as best i can as i had to take my glasses off. There is nothing like sitting in big surf on a bright sunny day. They roll through in sets with a lull between but in a big day .mother Nature shows you up as being tiny
a big day is 10 to 15 feet basically a decent size house moving through the water
every now and again they would be like mountains and you a leaf in the wind
still pretty cool stuff if you are a strong swimmer and can hold you breath and not panic when it all turns to crap abd trust me in a huge day it inevitably turns to crap at least a few time. You know on TV D they say when you are drowning you peacefully transfer
what ballocks every cell is screaming for oxygen

Pain Mmmmm no friend of mine but damn a constant companion most of my life Stuff just hurts



A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?


Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?



Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war
For a leading role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fears
Wish you were here



 
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PiP

Staff member
Co-Owner
When regulars like dither disappear and do not respond to PMs, it's difficult not to think the worse, especially with COVID claiming so many. If he is alive and well a note would be good just so his WF family know he is okay.
 
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River Rose

Senior Member
When regulars like dither disappear and does not respond to PMs, it's difficult not to think the worse and whether he contracted COVID... If he is alive and well a note would be good just so his WF family know he is okay.

He did contact Gofa saying he was ok when he went missing from the WF. No Covid,,no illnesses. He said it was by choice that he was taking a break from the forum. He is still sadly missed and we all wait for his return here to our WF home.
 
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Phil Istine

Staff member
Global Moderator
Of course, many people have lost their jobs so it could be a financial thing about being unable to pay for internet access. Normally, this could be overcome by accessing from a public library, but they are mostly still closed to prevent virus propagation.
Here's hoping that whatever is happening, it's recoverable.
 

Phil Istine

Staff member
Global Moderator
He did contact Gofa saying he was ok when he went missing from the WF. No Covid,,no illnesses. He said it was by choice that he was taking a break from the forum. He is still sadly missed and we all wait for his return here to our WF home.

Yes, I think many of us have taken an occasional break.
 

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