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Truly reverse 0 saga sample (1 Viewer)

kunox

Senior Member
I was wanting to post one more thing tonight.. you see the last sample was from aq book I written two years ago..... I'd actually like to see how much I have progressed. warning this the part of the unfinished first draft.. lol. ty for your time.

Chapter One: Red water, Swiss's Procession
Swiss took pride in his precision. It was a thing of beauty, his timing was as beautiful as the perfect diamond or ruby was to someone who made jewelry. His philosophy in life was everything in it's time and a time for everything. To him This meant everything must be in its specific place in order for a plan to succeed. His plans succeeded about ninety nine percent of the time because of his persuasion. He pondered his next move as he sat in the shadows waiting for the hour mark.
The business suit wearing swiss snickered as he finally decided to move. He went from place to place stringing factions together that had not a clue they were being used till he had a collection of fates for his master the Fate of Time could use to his ends. "It is almost ready, the day the universe will be perfect for Time." the man called swiss thought to himself.
Swiss was a short man who always carried an old fashioned pocket watch. He carried it as if it was his life force. The very essence of his being. In fact, it was. The watch itself was a good time piece, but it served as swiss's heart. It's every tick was a flow, giving him life. He wouldn't want to be without it.
He ducked before a nearby patrol could see him. He hid in a small hill of white light like snow as he counted from ten on down. When he reached one he hopped out of the snow to notice that the guards had gone. He dashed to another hill. He did this each time and each time counting. It would seem more like he was following the guards more than hiding from them. This continued till on the last hill he waited as the guards walked past a dark oblisque like tower. The three guards unlocked a gate and Swiss knew this was the time to strike.
He took to a brisk walking pass as the world seemed to slow down around him. He pulled out a small tranquilizer gun and took out the first two guards. The third started to unlock the gate, he shot him as well. Swiss closed his watch and put it back into his pocket as things around him seem to return to normal. "Yes, I am in a position to get to the pool of lies." swiss whispered to himself.
He opened the gate to reveal a giant lake of red water that glowed slightly. It had a slight stench that only the locals would ever get used to. Swiss swiftly moved in and pulled out three orb like containers. Each floated to a point above the water and the liquid started to get pulled into them. Swiss smiled as he kept track of time. He didn't have long till he would have to leave the place called Skunara. He knew what was in store for him if he got caught and it wasn't good. He knew all too well that it was forbidden to drink the water from the pool of lies, lest you have permission, but this was the first step to the end of his master plans and only he could tell what the next step was. Only time could tell when swiss's end was near.
Swiss stood there wringing his hands as a noise came from behind him somewhere. "Something is out of place." Swiss said twice half worried. He made a quick calculation in his head and then used magic to get the orbs back. He hid in a nearby chest as guards quickly move into and investigate the area.
"This is bad. We must tell the other guards before the trail gets cold." An angel told the other guards.
The guards then split up. Swiss had hoped they would. He could tell that they would take their time elsewhere thinking that he had moved on. Swiss came out of hiding and finished filling the orbs. He pulled out his watch and noted that this would be about the time for his ride to get to him. He pulled back the orbs as a horseless wagon pulled up behind him. Two white and red robed men joined him as they left, swiss knew that this was just the beginning. The beginning of a war. The war of the fates.
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The Fate of Favor was curious to the person that was to be her new sister. She sat there on a couch in the main entrance to the home her family had picked out in a small out of the way place in heaven. Such a peaceful view of the perennial library. It was at the cost of anything to do though. The beautiful pearl looking house with white stone gates itself was so far from any civilization that walking wasn't an option. This was to be expected from an undeveloped dimension such as heaven. The only real advantage in living in the Favor family compound was that you had lots of angelic staff that knew how to make every moment of life count.
The staff were very skilled in service and had been minted way before Favor had even existed. She had many really close friends among them, but they seemed to keep on their guard about getting to close to the people they served. The reason for this was they may have to move on at any time and it would be a shame if they couldn't do so due to their emotional attachment to the family. This was their way and there was no changing the nature of an angel without mean trickery.
The thing was staff alone would not make the house a home. It would be the family And Favor wanted to be the kind of family member that her new sister wanted to be around. This is why today was so important. Her adopted sister was arriving and favor wanted everything to be perfect. She had many things instore and had planned in what she called spiral planning. The whole idea was to have things planed but not to pick a specific time for them. This way she could be ready for anything and have an event for when it was needed.
Favor wondered what kind of person this girl would be. She had only met her once and thought she had some strange habits. Even stranger than her habits was the fact that her new sisters name was spelt so weirdly. "F-8." she said to herself, Favor wondered if it was for shadowing or had some hidden meaning, but she was not going to judge. She calmed herself as she waited, several maids helped each other straighten up the front area.
"I hate to say this, but we have no time for small talk she is almost here. The one that True requested will be here soon and part of Favor's family and she will have a nice welcome." the head angelic maid announced as she came out of a side room.
The angelic maids picked up pace and started finishing things up while the head maid watched.
As all the people worked Favor had a weird uneasy feeling. There were many appointments over the past few months to the Fates, but this one seemed the oddest. For one appointing someone who wasn't even a year old was more than strange but it was the will of the Demi-fates. "The Demi-fates couldn't be wrong, could they." Favor thought to herself.
This kind of thing was not taken very lightly by Favor's family or herself. They were tasked with the tasked with raising such a young girl with a very important job. The kind of job only very high level fates usually work decades to get. Though this wasn't the thing that was bothering her. It was the fact that True had requested it. Of all the things why did the fate of truth request such a thing.
It seemed like it was the kind of odd placed hasty decision that even using a set of dice and a numbered list you would have second thoughts about. This was very unlike Truth at all. While not being the most plans oriented or methodical guy. You'd think at least he wouldn't... Favor couldn't even fathom, but she did trust whatever went on in True's head. She walked to the front door as a car pulled up out front of the mansion.
Whatever questions I have, it will have to wait till i see the Truth again. She thought to herself.
A door slammed and the people in the house took their positions. The little girl entered the room as the surprisingly teenage looking one hundred and eight years old Favor welcomed her into the home.
"Hi, my name is Favor. Welcome to the Favor estates." Favor said as if her new relationship was depending on getting this first meeting right."
The little F-8 just stood there silently. She nervously rocked a little and put her hands behind her back "Don't worry, she is just a little shy. The head angel maid reassured Favor."
"That's ok. I'd hope that we'd be the first family she had. Ever since the moment I saw her I knew I wanted mom to adopt her." Favor said as she walked up to F-8.
f-8 just shyly tucks her head down and turned away as on of the angel mainds note that there is someone sneaking arround out side.
The angel that greeted F-8 used her highly tuned power of perception to see what type of person thiswas and then gave the it's not safe here signal. As they are about to leave and get security. A man in red and white burst through the door. Breathing hard the man glowed with a dark blood red energy. He swung a huge ax that nearly missed F-8. The scared the small girl as the man lifted the ax back up to give himself a second try in lopping off F-8's head.
"Death to the very idea, down with the Fate of Fates." the man yelled as he swung the ax again this time blocked by several angels. There sman semed to beaa much more powerfulthan the angels . It took five angels to ketch one ax blow from the man. This would normally worry other Fates, but Favor was having none of this.
She snapped her fingers and within seconds there was nothing. The conflict had ended the man laid on the ground with the ax he had held broken in two. Favor Stayed over him one foot planted on his back. She took a second to make sure that the man was indeed unconscious and then turned her attention to the crying little girl. "Shh..." she said, trying to calm the girl, but with no luck.
The angel maids left the room to get more help as Favor hugged the little girl. She wasn't sure what to do, but she knew she had to do something.
"May I suggest a little humor.' a voice came from behind Favor." Favor turned around to note that a dark shadowy figure was standing in the door.
"How would that help. I mean she just had a man thrust an over sized Ax at her."
"Well, it couldn't hurt, I mean she is only afraid because she feels unsafe. you would be to if you where that age. So you should act like it's safe and she may feel so herself. Here try this. The dark figure advised handing Favor a jester's cap.
Favor looked strangely at The man, but had no reason not to trust him due to the fact she had taken his advice from before. She knew that he was wiser than anyone she knew, with only one exception. She grabbed the jesteres cap and puts it on. She started hopping around on one foot and telling jokes. This got F-8's attention as she then started to smile. Favor dropped to her knees near F-8 and hugged her.
 

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