Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Thoughts on my Heroine having a Tubal Ligation vs. Abortion? (1 Viewer)

MorganaPendragon25

Senior Member
I've been thinking a lot about my heroine lately and of course one thing on her agenda that I want to push is her being childfree (doesn't want kids...ever!). I think her not wanting kids is relatively important to her storyline since she is an only-child and the "last" of her royal bloodline. Secretly, although she loves her family...she wants to end her bloodline. I want to show readers how serious she is about this, I think the best way to possibly show that is for her to have a tubal ligation (sterilization surgery). There is a scene where she reflects on all of her body's battle scars and apparently tubal ligation leaves small scars on a woman's abdomen. I want my readers to know my heroine's decision is permanent. I think her having a tubal ligation is safer approach for my audience, if she were to accidentally get pregnant and have an abortion (which is also a serious statement how she doesn't want kids), I think a lot of readers who are pro-life would have a problem with her character. I think abortion is a right women deserve to have, I find it strange how some people have a problem with it. Her body, her choice.

You know, I don't want this to be a massive deal just a subtle and quiet matter. My heroine being childfree is a huge part of who she is and her lifestyle. Of course, I don't have to write her about having a tubal ligation or anything like that. Could simply write a scene where she has a conversation and says "absolutely not" when asked if she wants kids, and that's it. But I find a lot of comfort in when she begins to treasure her body's scars. If she got scars from a possibly sterilization surgery, that is something that can add to who she is. And of course, some people who would want her to continue her family's precious bloodline, they'd have a problem with her. Does she keep it a secret or does it blow up to be a huge deal? Could see interesting ways her story could go if she were trying to keep her sterilization surgery a secret (because she knows she'll get a ton of shit for it) and someone who wants her to have kids finds out.

Thoughts, tips, and advice on this?
 

Taylor

Friends of WF
I like the tubal ligation concept. And yes, I would stay away from abortion if possible. I know you have your own views, but for some people it is not that simple, so why alienate those readers?

I have a friend who did a tubal ligation at a young age because she didn't want children. I never really understood it at the time. I thought she might regret it and that she should just use birth control to keep the option open, but I learned over time it made her feel whole. It was a big part of her well-being. She never did regret it. I admire her for it. Also, it's fairly unusual that women do this before having any children, so I think it could give your character some depth. Plus all the intrigue of her keeping it secret. It could form a good part of your plot, especially the bloodline thing...that’s really unique.

I have been thinking of a similar situation for the love interest of my MC. He had a vasectomy early on before having any children. She has to come to terms with it and how it will affect their future. But I struggle like you to assess if that will cause a lack of empathy for the character. Ah...but therein lies the challenge of good writing. To create likeable characters that are not stereotypes.

 

Bloggsworth

Senior Member
Do you have to be specific about methodology, even if she just says she does not want children, it will put someone's back up...
 

MorganaPendragon25

Senior Member
I like the tubal ligation concept. And yes, I would stay away from abortion if possible. I know you have your own views, but for some people it is not that simple, so why alienate those readers?

I have a friend who did a tubal ligation at a young age because she didn't want children. I never really understood it at the time. I thought she might regret it and that she should just use birth control to keep the option open, but I learned over time it made her feel whole. It was a big part of her well-being. She never did regret it. I admire her for it. Also, it's fairly unusual that women do this before having any children, so I think it could give your character some depth. Plus all the intrigue of her keeping it secret. It could form a good part of your plot, especially the bloodline thing...that’s really unique.

I have been thinking of a similar situation for the love interest of my MC. He had a vasectomy early on before having any children. She has to come to terms with it and how it will affect their future. But I struggle like you to assess if that will cause a lack of empathy for the character. Ah...but therein lies the challenge of good writing. To create likeable characters that are not stereotypes.


Thank you for your kind words! <3 So awesome to hear about your friend who got a tubal ligation! Sounds like she's living a great life!

That would be interesting situation for your MC and he has a female lover as you say. It would be interesting for readers to know that our hero/heroine won't have any children because of their own persona decision. Not sure about the whole lack of empathy bit for our lead characters. But yes, creating likable character that are not stereotypes...it's a great challenge for us to seek and overcome.
 

MorganaPendragon25

Senior Member
Do you have to be specific about methodology, even if she just says she does not want children, it will put someone's back up...

I'm sorry? It will put someone's back up? Not sure what you mean about that bit. Do you think if my audience knows my heroine will never have any children (or she just plain says it "I'm never having any children"), would that make some readers stop reading her story? I would find that a bit strange. No author can please all of their readers. Just think, there are millions of childfree women and men around the world that would absolutely love to read a heroine like mine. I'm not writing my heroine's story to please parents or anything like that. All of us humans come from many different walks of life, we are all very different from one to the other.
 

Bloggsworth

Senior Member
I'm sorry? It will put someone's back up? Not sure what you mean about that bit. Do you think if my audience knows my heroine will never have any children (or she just plain says it "I'm never having any children"), would that make some readers stop reading her story? I would find that a bit strange. No author can please all of their readers. Just think, there are millions of childfree women and men around the world that would absolutely love to read a heroine like mine. I'm not writing my heroine's story to please parents or anything like that. All of us humans come from many different walks of life, we are all very different from one to the other.


You don't have to be overt about it, something on the lines of:

"Any children?"

"None planned at the moment" would cover it, she's deliberately leaving the question open to the possibility so that she doesn't have to get into a discussion about it. In these times people get offended by their own imaginations if you say the wrong word...
 

MorganaPendragon25

Senior Member
You don't have to be overt about it, something on the lines of:

"Any children?"

"None planned at the moment" would cover it, she's deliberately leaving the question open to the possibility so that she doesn't have to get into a discussion about it. In these times people get offended by their own imaginations if you say the wrong word...

So people will get offended by my heroine making her own personal choice of getting sterilized or even just saying "Never having kids" (shutting the door on the topic)? She wouldn't say "None planned at the moment" that would be out of character for her to say it that way. She would shut it down pretty quick. I get your point though, childfree women put up with a bunch of BS and people say they will change their mind...my character would probably be tired of lengthy discussions regarding it.

In general, people these days need to grow a thicker skin and open their minds more. People will get offended by the simplest things, especially in good ole' America.
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
Dude... it is NOT about the method. It is about setting up WHY she doesn't want kids in the first place. Just her putting up a fight in her situation shows she is serious but thats not...

I said I was done and I forgot that I was. Done.
 

MorganaPendragon25

Senior Member
Thoughts on my story's evil Queen getting an abortion?

So I've been kicking around this idea of my lead female villain (who is a newly-crowned Queen) seeking an abortion during the story. I think it makes sense for her character and will show a lot of her courage and strength by doing so. First of all, she doesn't want kids at all; while she does have a big heart for kids, she doesn't want any of her own. She wants to end her bloodline. I think what happens is she cheats on her husband (aka the King) and once he finds out, they have a little bit of hate sex one night, where my villainess gets pregnant (and he knows she doesn't want kids...)...their relationship really goes down the drain throughout this whole ordeal. I think my villainess keeps her being pregnant a secret from her husband and she quietly seeks an abortion right away. When she gets the procedure done, she walks up to him and explains she aborted his future child because (aside from her not wanting kids at all) it was not made out of love and she knew the child would not live a very happy life. Lots of sparks flash between the two after this. She might end up killing him later in the story.

I know the matter of abortions is a touchy subject, but I think most good human beings respect it as it's a woman's healthcare right and hopefully won't mind one of my characters having one done in the story. And with this type of scenario, I want to present my villainess in a positive light. She made a personal and very brave decision to get the abortion done even though her family pressures her into having kids to continue their sacred bloodline. I think we need to see more female characters seek an abortion in stories these days. It's a very normal thing in this world and it should be treated as a positive choice.

My gut tells me I need to write something like this for my villainess's story. What are your thoughts on abortions in stories? What to do, what not to do?
 

ironpony

Senior Member
If it's not a story where abortion is a theme, then I guess it doesn't serve anything to include it. But what if you made it like James Bond, where there is no explanation as to why the character doesn't get pregnant in their lifestyle, and leave it up to the imagination, rather than write anything about abortion or a tubal ligation at all?
 

Ajoy

Senior Member
I think either of your ideas could work as long as you can get it into your writing in a way that feels natural and subtle. I mean, sure, there are people who hate the idea of abortions, but this is fiction right? I think even with abortion, if you write it well, it is something your character chose to do, so let some readers hate her for it. I think we love to hate characters as much as we want to love them sometimes. :)

Also, just for another option, there are hormonal or non-hormonal IUD devices that can be inserted into the uterus - takes a few minutes in a regular office visit with a GYN and depending on the brand, lasts between 5 and 10 years before they need to be replaced. They are like 99.9% effective.

Finally, just so you know, getting a hysterectomy or sterilization surgery is something that doctors often have to be convinced to do for women who have not had kids or are still of childbearing age. If you go this route, your character could potentially be reflecting about the annoying conversation with a doctor or having to switch doctors or something along those lines.
 

Annoying kid

Senior Member
I've been thinking a lot about my heroine lately and of course one thing on her agenda that I want to push is her being childfree (doesn't want kids...ever!). I think her not wanting kids is relatively important to her storyline since she is an only-child and the "last" of her royal bloodline. Secretly, although she loves her family...she wants to end her bloodline. I want to show readers how serious she is about this, I think the best way to possibly show that is for her to have a tubal ligation (sterilization surgery). There is a scene where she reflects on all of her body's battle scars and apparently tubal ligation leaves small scars on a woman's abdomen. I want my readers to know my heroine's decision is permanent. I think her having a tubal ligation is safer approach for my audience, if she were to accidentally get pregnant and have an abortion (which is also a serious statement how she doesn't want kids), I think a lot of readers who are pro-life would have a problem with her character. I think abortion is a right women deserve to have, I find it strange how some people have a problem with it. Her body, her choice.

You know, I don't want this to be a massive deal just a subtle and quiet matter. My heroine being childfree is a huge part of who she is and her lifestyle. Of course, I don't have to write her about having a tubal ligation or anything like that. Could simply write a scene where she has a conversation and says "absolutely not" when asked if she wants kids, and that's it. But I find a lot of comfort in when she begins to treasure her body's scars. If she got scars from a possibly sterilization surgery, that is something that can add to who she is. And of course, some people who would want her to continue her family's precious bloodline, they'd have a problem with her. Does she keep it a secret or does it blow up to be a huge deal? Could see interesting ways her story could go if she were trying to keep her sterilization surgery a secret (because she knows she'll get a ton of shit for it) and someone who wants her to have kids finds out.

Thoughts, tips, and advice on this?

I think my only question is....why are people letting her do this?

She's royalty. Her bloodline is precious.

But for some reason she wants to fight in physical combat, and is accumulating scars and physical damage along the way, and is risking her life. And now is talking about sterilization.

Wouldn't there be alot of people trying to stop this, for her own good? And not allowing her to join a fight?

So she has alot of scars.

If she's getting hurt alot, she probably isn't so singularly powerful that she'd be NEEDED to fight in battle.

Why don't they just have her under guard and say ..."No" ? Go be a princess or a queen and leave the fighting to the expendable soldiers?

Can she really rebel against everybody stopping her? How? How would she be able to fight in any battle of significance if her own allies just subdue her and carry her back to the palace whenever she shows up all gung ho?

You say the heir is a precious thing, as well as lineage, you say its her body, her choice, yes she can choose to have babies or not, but she surely requires the co-operation of the state and the army to fight as a warrior. I would have thought so. But if they actively try to stop her from doing that , then what could she do about it?

And if they arent trying to actively stop her, then why not?

And what surgeon is gonna consent to sterilizing the queen/princess?
 

MorganaPendragon25

Senior Member
I think either of your ideas could work as long as you can get it into your writing in a way that feels natural and subtle. I mean, sure, there are people who hate the idea of abortions, but this is fiction right? I think even with abortion, if you write it well, it is something your character chose to do, so let some readers hate her for it. I think we love to hate characters as much as we want to love them sometimes. :)

Also, just for another option, there are hormonal or non-hormonal IUD devices that can be inserted into the uterus - takes a few minutes in a regular office visit with a GYN and depending on the brand, lasts between 5 and 10 years before they need to be replaced. They are like 99.9% effective.

Finally, just so you know, getting a hysterectomy or sterilization surgery is something that doctors often have to be convinced to do for women who have not had kids or are still of childbearing age. If you go this route, your character could potentially be reflecting about the annoying conversation with a doctor or having to switch doctors or something along those lines.

I think most ethical and moral human beings respect women who go the abortion route. Her body, her choice. Most of my readers wouldn't mind what my character does. Yes, it's a touchy subject and not for everyone. But I think I can write these idea good enough where my audience respects her decision to get an abortion.
 

MorganaPendragon25

Senior Member
I think my only question is....why are people letting her do this?

She's royalty. Her bloodline is precious.

But for some reason she wants to fight in physical combat, and is accumulating scars and physical damage along the way, and is risking her life. And now is talking about sterilization.

Wouldn't there be alot of people trying to stop this, for her own good? And not allowing her to join a fight?

So she has alot of scars.

If she's getting hurt alot, she probably isn't so singularly powerful that she'd be NEEDED to fight in battle.

Why don't they just have her under guard and say ..."No" ? Go be a princess or a queen and leave the fighting to the expendable soldiers?

Can she really rebel against everybody stopping her? How? How would she be able to fight in any battle of significance if her own allies just subdue her and carry her back to the palace whenever she shows up all gung ho?

You say the heir is a precious thing, as well as lineage, you say its her body, her choice, yes she can choose to have babies or not, but she surely requires the co-operation of the state and the army to fight as a warrior. I would have thought so. But if they actively try to stop her from doing that , then what could she do about it?

And if they arent trying to actively stop her, then why not?

And what surgeon is gonna consent to sterilizing the queen/princess?

Good ideas, yes. I think what may happen is she runs away from her kingdom/family/castle/etc. and tries to start life anew elsewhere. Of course, most of her family and her people would expect her to have kids and such. She cuts her hair and takes on a new look when she comes to this different kingdom where she is recruited by their army. She hides the fact that she is royal blood of the opposing army. She could be a traitor.
 

Ralph Rotten

Staff member
Mentor
I've been thinking a lot about my heroine lately and of course one thing on her agenda that I want to push is her being childfree (doesn't want kids...ever!). I think her not wanting kids is relatively important to her storyline since she is an only-child and the "last" of her royal bloodline. Secretly, although she loves her family...she wants to end her bloodline. I want to show readers how serious she is about this, I think the best way to possibly show that is for her to have a tubal ligation (sterilization surgery). There is a scene where she reflects on all of her body's battle scars and apparently tubal ligation leaves small scars on a woman's abdomen. I want my readers to know my heroine's decision is permanent. I think her having a tubal ligation is safer approach for my audience, if she were to accidentally get pregnant and have an abortion (which is also a serious statement how she doesn't want kids), I think a lot of readers who are pro-life would have a problem with her character. I think abortion is a right women deserve to have, I find it strange how some people have a problem with it. Her body, her choice.

You know, I don't want this to be a massive deal just a subtle and quiet matter. My heroine being childfree is a huge part of who she is and her lifestyle. Of course, I don't have to write her about having a tubal ligation or anything like that. Could simply write a scene where she has a conversation and says "absolutely not" when asked if she wants kids, and that's it. But I find a lot of comfort in when she begins to treasure her body's scars. If she got scars from a possibly sterilization surgery, that is something that can add to who she is. And of course, some people who would want her to continue her family's precious bloodline, they'd have a problem with her. Does she keep it a secret or does it blow up to be a huge deal? Could see interesting ways her story could go if she were trying to keep her sterilization surgery a secret (because she knows she'll get a ton of shit for it) and someone who wants her to have kids finds out.

Thoughts, tips, and advice on this?



Is this story future or past?
If future, maybe a chemical sterilization would be the way. She would not want her adversaries knowing that she is fixed because they would move on her as soon as she was vulnerable. An abortion could cost her loyal supporters as well as legacy supporters (people who supported her father/mother.)
So ideally, she would want to be sterilized...but keep it a secret. So if there was a pill, she could still belabor the event, but keep it under wraps.

However, there is presently no pill that would do this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sterilization_(medicine)
 

Annoying kid

Senior Member
Good ideas, yes. I think what may happen is she runs away from her kingdom/family/castle/etc. and tries to start life anew elsewhere. Of course, most of her family and her people would expect her to have kids and such. She cuts her hair and takes on a new look when she comes to this different kingdom where she is recruited by their army. She hides the fact that she is royal blood of the opposing army. She could be a traitor.

Whats the threat that compels her to leave though? She can't be leaving just cos theyre nagging her for it, thats pretty thin. Is it the threat of force? Is she a lesbian whos being made to marry some jerk? Is the threat death? Is this like King Henry the VIII where queens had better start breeding or else its the guillotine?
 

Matchu

Senior Member
Write a male character instead? Have him say stuff like ‘I do not worry about fertility in my line of profession, only horseback balanced atop two man-eggs is precarious endurance.’

Female writers never consider such delicacy.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top