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The worst bed time story? (1 Viewer)


Senior Member
Once upon a time, a little girl called Alice was being read a bedtime story. Mummy calmly explained about three little piggies who all were eaten by a merciless wolf. The three piggies managed to escape the belly by cutting their way out, but the story caused such a dent in Alice's confidence, she decided to ask mummy a question.

'Mummy?' said Alice. 'Are monsters real?'
'No, No!' mummy replied. 'Now go to sleep or Daddy will be very angry, it's past your bed time.'

Mummy left and turned the light off before the door swing shut.

There was a growl from under the bed.

Alice screamed and mummy ran back in.

'Alice! I said go to sleep of daddy will be very upset. Do you want me to get daddy?'
'No mummy, but there's a monster under my bed!' Alice replied.
'Don't be silly, go to sleep!'

Mummy left again and again the growl came from under the bed. This time it was louder and Alice screamed again.
Mummy returned, flicking on the light.

'Alice, this is your last warning!' mummy said. 'One more sound out of you and I'll get daddy up here to sort you out!' Alice whimpered and was silent as Mummy left the room again.

One last growl and Alice screamed and did not stop screaming.

Mummy burst into the room and shouted over Alice's scream.

'Now you have done it! I'm calling daddy up here!'
'No!' Alice yelled as Mummy bent under the bed and yanked Daddy out from the floorboards. Daddy rose to full, hairy height and bent over Alice. Daddy sprang into action, ripping and tearing with a horrible snarl. The pillows exploded in a shower of feathers and Alice was shrinking as lumps of her flesh slipped down Daddies throat.

Down in the living room, Mummy was sat down to watch television. Daddy stomped down the stairs, resting his furry bottom on the couch. He wiped the blood and chunks of flesh from his lips as he looked at Mummy and said in a gruff growl 'You did warn her to go to sleep!'
'You're cleaning it up!' said Mummy.
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Senior Member
Heh, that was amusing.

If I were you, however, I'd use some more words in the appearing of Dad and the eating of Alice, at least giving the feast and Dad's rising to his feet two sentences.

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