I already finished this, so I'll just keep posting what I have. I'm planning on rewriting it later with proper format and general dialogue improvements, but first I want to get a general consensus on the content.
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ACT I
SCENE I
A visiting room in a prison set in the fictional town of Feldspar, Wisconsin, 1971. RODRIGUEZ, 24, prison guard, is seated on a chair eyeing the empty booth, apart from a potbellied, middle-aged prisoner waiting on the other side.
Enter SUNRISA, sixteen, who approaches prisoner from Rodriguez’s side and begins indistinct conversation.
SUNRISA
Good news; I, um... I talked to Martin last night on the phone, and he said we may have a chance. I mean, we have a chance – It’ll just take some paperwork, and time... a bit of time, you know. After that, it’ll be all settled, and you’re free to go. Does that sound good to you?
MAN
I tell ya’, it sounds a lot better than I thought. I thought I was gonna’ be in here for, oh... I dunno’, another twenty years or something. But that’s good news – if I’m getting out early or something.
SUNRISA
Well, just remember to have hope.
RODRIGUEZ begins writing in notepad, speaking his written words out loud while SUNRISA and the man silently continue their conversation.
RODRIGUEZ
She has emerged once more, it seems. Amongst this past week she has referred to a “trial”, a Martin—who I assume lends help to their apparent ordeal, which I’ve not yet grasped—and an “incident”, which I have also not yet identified. I find it strange that the content of this “incident” is obscured in conversation, yet the girl seems to apprehend it without difficulty.
SUNRISA
What have you been up to, Ted?
MAN
I’ve been watching television, you know. Oh (chuckles), yesterday on channel fourteen these two chicks were dancing up and down on stage and their titties and stuff were hanging out and everything (guffaws). Hell man, it was awesome. You should’ve seen it.
SUNRISA
Well, thank me – my parents for paying the electricity fee in your cell (laughs). It took them a lot of convincing—
MAN
Hell, I don’t see why these lazy Americans can’t pay for my TV with their god damn tax money. A buncha’ no good, selfish bastards, that’s what they are.
SUNRISA:
Well, I love my parents for doing you this favor. I can definitely say that much.
RODRIGUEZ
(Continues writing) This man is undoubtedly both imprudent and foolish. I can only hope I am not instructed to escort him to his cell by the ascending authority, or I will surely be struck by aggravation and distress, as has been the case numerous times in the past.
MAN
Hell, those were some fine titties. That bitch—hell, she was one fine bitch alright. A fine bitch, with those titties, hell.
SUNRISA
I bet.
RODRIGUEZ
Lastly, when he displays a nearly-infantile degree of stupidity with his blatant remarks, the sounds emitted from his voice are raspy, blusterous and unpleasant. I do not desire his acquaintance in any way.
SUNRISA
Have you thought anymore about what you want to do when you get out?
TED
Well I hope I don’t do anything that’ll put me back in here, that’s for sure.
SUNRISA
That’s a nice plan.
TED
I might get a job, actually. Maybe I’ll work in construction, ‘cause of my strongness, how I can lift heavy objects, and you know. All that kind of stuff. Or maybe—maybe I’ll be a counter. I’m good with money and everything.
SUNRISA
Maybe you mean an accountant? And yeah, you’re great with money! I saw how you handled that—
TED
Or a fireman, or a doctor, or maybe a lawyer just like Martin! Shit, I’d make a lot of money off that, I tell you. I’d be making like millions of dollars for each case. That would be the life right there.
SUNRISA
You’d be wonderful at all—
TED
And then when I get all that money, I’ll buy this huge apartment, almost as big as a mansion maybe, and then—then I’d buy this big screen TV, then I’d get a shit-load of beer, and invite a whole buncha’ bitches over to my apartment, man, then I’d—
SUNRISA
I think our time’s up, Ted. (Glances at RODRIGUEZ.) It’s... up, right? The time?
RODRIGUEZ says nothing.
SUNRISA
Well, thanks for letting me visit you, Ted.
TED
Yeah, anytime.
A guard on TED’s side takes him away.
Exit TED.
Exit GUARD.
SUNRISA looks at RODRIGUEZ, smiles, and approaches him.
SUNRISA
Thanks.
RODRIGUEZ
We have only just met, yet my inability to discern sarcasm from sincerity is already evident – a weakness on your part. It would help drastically if you were less ambiguous during this conversation.
SUNRISA
Yeah, that’s true, I’m not very good at speaking directly. One of my faults, I guess.
RODRIGUEZ
You have just now repeated the same mistake.
SUNRISA
I wouldn’t bet on it. So far I’ve been truly sincere.
RODRIGUEZ
Then you have expressed gratitude for something of which I am fully ignorant, which still remains your fault, as you have not yet explained yourself intelligibly.
SUNRISA
(Cheerful tone.) Too true. I’ll keep that in mind next time.
RODRIGUEZ
Undoubtedly.
SUNRISA
Say, I’m not that familiar with this part of the city. Do you know of any coffee shops around here?
RODRIGUEZ
That would be unlikely in a rural, abandoned district with little activity. But stupidly, they placed this prison in an industrious section of the city with far too many citizens, so yes, businesses and major enterprises are exceptionally common. As for your specific question, there is a tea house of Japanese descent not far from this facility.
SUNRISA
That sounds lovely.
RODRIGUEZ
It seems you have ignored half my–
SUNRISA
—Say... would you like to... (glances at RODRIGUEZ for a few seconds) ...to join me?
RODRIGUEZ
That depends partly on what time my shift will discontinue... and the probability that you will interrupt me hereafter this conversation.
SUNRISA
Sure, sorry about that.
RODRIGUEZ
Your sarcasm is evident–
SUNRISA
It’s... is it? Well, okay. By the way, you’re being kind of – well, this isn’t a bad thing, I mean – but you’re being really stiff. It’s sort of –
RODRIGUEZ
Silly, I’d assume, which is based directly on your invalid perceptions.
SUNRISA
Sorry... forget I said anything. But, um, anyway, is there any chance that you want to join me? This is the last time I ask, promise.
RODRIGUEZ
Yes.
SUNRISA
Alright, let’s go. Or... let us prominently withdraw our anthropological physiques from this public facility... whatever suits you.
RODRIGUEZ
Very well. But keep in mind for the future, apologizing will lead us nowhere.
-
ACT I
SCENE I
A visiting room in a prison set in the fictional town of Feldspar, Wisconsin, 1971. RODRIGUEZ, 24, prison guard, is seated on a chair eyeing the empty booth, apart from a potbellied, middle-aged prisoner waiting on the other side.
Enter SUNRISA, sixteen, who approaches prisoner from Rodriguez’s side and begins indistinct conversation.
SUNRISA
Good news; I, um... I talked to Martin last night on the phone, and he said we may have a chance. I mean, we have a chance – It’ll just take some paperwork, and time... a bit of time, you know. After that, it’ll be all settled, and you’re free to go. Does that sound good to you?
MAN
I tell ya’, it sounds a lot better than I thought. I thought I was gonna’ be in here for, oh... I dunno’, another twenty years or something. But that’s good news – if I’m getting out early or something.
SUNRISA
Well, just remember to have hope.
RODRIGUEZ begins writing in notepad, speaking his written words out loud while SUNRISA and the man silently continue their conversation.
RODRIGUEZ
She has emerged once more, it seems. Amongst this past week she has referred to a “trial”, a Martin—who I assume lends help to their apparent ordeal, which I’ve not yet grasped—and an “incident”, which I have also not yet identified. I find it strange that the content of this “incident” is obscured in conversation, yet the girl seems to apprehend it without difficulty.
SUNRISA
What have you been up to, Ted?
MAN
I’ve been watching television, you know. Oh (chuckles), yesterday on channel fourteen these two chicks were dancing up and down on stage and their titties and stuff were hanging out and everything (guffaws). Hell man, it was awesome. You should’ve seen it.
SUNRISA
Well, thank me – my parents for paying the electricity fee in your cell (laughs). It took them a lot of convincing—
MAN
Hell, I don’t see why these lazy Americans can’t pay for my TV with their god damn tax money. A buncha’ no good, selfish bastards, that’s what they are.
SUNRISA:
Well, I love my parents for doing you this favor. I can definitely say that much.
RODRIGUEZ
(Continues writing) This man is undoubtedly both imprudent and foolish. I can only hope I am not instructed to escort him to his cell by the ascending authority, or I will surely be struck by aggravation and distress, as has been the case numerous times in the past.
MAN
Hell, those were some fine titties. That bitch—hell, she was one fine bitch alright. A fine bitch, with those titties, hell.
SUNRISA
I bet.
RODRIGUEZ
Lastly, when he displays a nearly-infantile degree of stupidity with his blatant remarks, the sounds emitted from his voice are raspy, blusterous and unpleasant. I do not desire his acquaintance in any way.
SUNRISA
Have you thought anymore about what you want to do when you get out?
TED
Well I hope I don’t do anything that’ll put me back in here, that’s for sure.
SUNRISA
That’s a nice plan.
TED
I might get a job, actually. Maybe I’ll work in construction, ‘cause of my strongness, how I can lift heavy objects, and you know. All that kind of stuff. Or maybe—maybe I’ll be a counter. I’m good with money and everything.
SUNRISA
Maybe you mean an accountant? And yeah, you’re great with money! I saw how you handled that—
TED
Or a fireman, or a doctor, or maybe a lawyer just like Martin! Shit, I’d make a lot of money off that, I tell you. I’d be making like millions of dollars for each case. That would be the life right there.
SUNRISA
You’d be wonderful at all—
TED
And then when I get all that money, I’ll buy this huge apartment, almost as big as a mansion maybe, and then—then I’d buy this big screen TV, then I’d get a shit-load of beer, and invite a whole buncha’ bitches over to my apartment, man, then I’d—
SUNRISA
I think our time’s up, Ted. (Glances at RODRIGUEZ.) It’s... up, right? The time?
RODRIGUEZ says nothing.
SUNRISA
Well, thanks for letting me visit you, Ted.
TED
Yeah, anytime.
A guard on TED’s side takes him away.
Exit TED.
Exit GUARD.
SUNRISA looks at RODRIGUEZ, smiles, and approaches him.
SUNRISA
Thanks.
RODRIGUEZ
We have only just met, yet my inability to discern sarcasm from sincerity is already evident – a weakness on your part. It would help drastically if you were less ambiguous during this conversation.
SUNRISA
Yeah, that’s true, I’m not very good at speaking directly. One of my faults, I guess.
RODRIGUEZ
You have just now repeated the same mistake.
SUNRISA
I wouldn’t bet on it. So far I’ve been truly sincere.
RODRIGUEZ
Then you have expressed gratitude for something of which I am fully ignorant, which still remains your fault, as you have not yet explained yourself intelligibly.
SUNRISA
(Cheerful tone.) Too true. I’ll keep that in mind next time.
RODRIGUEZ
Undoubtedly.
SUNRISA
Say, I’m not that familiar with this part of the city. Do you know of any coffee shops around here?
RODRIGUEZ
That would be unlikely in a rural, abandoned district with little activity. But stupidly, they placed this prison in an industrious section of the city with far too many citizens, so yes, businesses and major enterprises are exceptionally common. As for your specific question, there is a tea house of Japanese descent not far from this facility.
SUNRISA
That sounds lovely.
RODRIGUEZ
It seems you have ignored half my–
SUNRISA
—Say... would you like to... (glances at RODRIGUEZ for a few seconds) ...to join me?
RODRIGUEZ
That depends partly on what time my shift will discontinue... and the probability that you will interrupt me hereafter this conversation.
SUNRISA
Sure, sorry about that.
RODRIGUEZ
Your sarcasm is evident–
SUNRISA
It’s... is it? Well, okay. By the way, you’re being kind of – well, this isn’t a bad thing, I mean – but you’re being really stiff. It’s sort of –
RODRIGUEZ
Silly, I’d assume, which is based directly on your invalid perceptions.
SUNRISA
Sorry... forget I said anything. But, um, anyway, is there any chance that you want to join me? This is the last time I ask, promise.
RODRIGUEZ
Yes.
SUNRISA
Alright, let’s go. Or... let us prominently withdraw our anthropological physiques from this public facility... whatever suits you.
RODRIGUEZ
Very well. But keep in mind for the future, apologizing will lead us nowhere.