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The streets of no money (1 Viewer)

knottla

Senior Member
I've been to cities and towns around this land, the people with no hope
are scattered far and wide.
No matter where the surrounds,
in poor and affluent places,
the destitution abounds.

Why oh why is this occurring,
in this so-called land of plenty.
It's not just politicians or media,
responsible for vilifing
those less fortunate.
It's us. Joe public that denies them
the chance to better themselves.
Through ignorance and by thinking
it's nothing to do with me.

I've been to cities and towns around this land,
the people with no hope
are scattered far and wide.
No matter where the surrounds,
in poor and affluent places,
destitution abounds.


There is hope if people
only open their eyes and hearts,
to what is happening around.
Society needs to embrace all it's ails,
as it's a reflection of things gone wrong.
Each individual can end up in the same place.
If we fall from the tightrope of life.

I've been to cities and towns around this land,
the people with no hope
are scattered far and wide.
No matter where the surrounds,
in poor and afluent places,
the destitution abounds.
 
Last edited:

Irwin

Senior Member
I like it! I think there are a few superfluous words (and a few misspelled), which I crossed out. Other than that, just get The Funk Brothers to back your vocals and you'll have a hit!

I've been to cities and towns around this land, the people with no hope
are scattered far and wide.
No matter where the surrounds,
in poor and affluent places,
the destitution abounds.

Why oh why is this occurring,
in this so-called land of plenty.
It's not just politicians or media,
[strike]responsible for [/strike]vilifying
those less fortunate.
It's us. Joe public that denies them
the chance to better themselves.
Through ignorance and by thinking
it's nothing to do with me.

I've been to cities and towns around this land,
the people with no hope
are scattered far and wide.
No matter [strike]where [/strike]the surrounds,
in poor and affluent places,
the destitution abounds.


There is hope if people
[strike]only [/strike]open their eyes and hearts,
to what is happening around.
Society needs to embrace all it's ails,
as it's a reflection of things gone wrong.
Each individual can end up in the same place.
If we fall from the tightrope[strike] of life[/strike].

I've been to cities and towns around this land,
the people with no hope
are scattered far and wide.
No matter [strike]where [/strike]the surrounds,
in poor and affluent places,
the destitution abounds.
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Lines desperately waiting to be heard as song. Inspiring and melodious poem or a song. From your this poem, I have realised that certain themes, especially inspirational ones, better work in beats. I too have written something as inspirational, but now I have realised, if I want it to echo, it needs to have the rhythm and beats of a song.

I just loved reading it.
Keep writing.

Ritu
 

knottla

Senior Member
Thank you so much for reading and giving your opinion. This poem ( song) was inspired by Ralph Mctell and his song The Streets of London.
 

knottla

Senior Member
Thank you for your comments about using superfluous words. I do tend to ramble on instead of finding a finish. you r suggestion of who to have record it, is something I never expected.
 
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