Writingforums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

The Power of All- Story (1 Viewer)

Iris ♥

Senior Member
cooltext1421386967_zps96c47c4e.png

This is a story I'm working on. It's aimed for a PG13 age range. And Chapters will take a while to upload. (I take time in writing and editing.) It's a fantasy and magic related story. Each Chapter will take about an estimated three weeks (More or less) to finish.

cooltext1422782203_zps4c6bcce0.png

(And introduction/partial explanation.)

Where the world is different and super powers exist. Groups of teens live separate from others, categorized by powers and heritage. There are guardians who help and protect all the teens in their training. When each teen turns twelve they are sent to a camp where they are trained by their guardians. Everyone at the camp ranges from ages 12 to 18. After the age of 18 they are let out of camp and are free to do whatever they want. Each group has two paths to choose from. They choose their path after 6 months of training with their Guardians.
[/FONT]​
The world is different too. Each part of the world is split up into four areas.[/FONT]​
[FONT=&quot] The people of the Kingdom of Arendelle [FONT=&quot]live in the north. They are usually the most agile and can choose to specialize in the magical paths of Ice or Snow. Those who choose Ice magic can utilize ice into sharp crystals. Those who choose Snow magic can start huge blizzards. Appearances: Most of the people of Arendelle have platinum blonde hair, silver eyes, and pale skin.​
[FONT=&quot] Arendelle is a cold area. It's a large island near the coldest of places on Earth. Ice covers most of the land. Most homes are made of ice, thus, everyone living there is not bothered by the cold. Everyone has the power to manipulate Ice or Snow and everyone goes to a place known vaguely as camp. There, teens are trained by the ways of the Book of The North.

[/FONT]
The people of East Academy[/FONT] live in the East, they look like your average teens but specialize in combat magic. At the time when they choose their paths they receive a black cape in which their weapons and any other items are stored magically. In addition to their combat magic prowess, they also inherit inhuman strength. At a certain age they can choose either of the two paths: Melee skills or Range skills. Appearances: Most people in East Academy have dark hair, dark eyes, and light skin. They often use fire magic in combinations with their combat skills.​
[FONT=&quot] Many of the common folks who don't inherit the special abilities live in the City on the island of Enera. East Academy is built on an island south of Enera, close to the Kingdom of Orian. The land is made of soft soil and the climate is warm all year round.

The people of West Academy[/FONT][FONT=&quot] live in the West and specialize Water magic or Healing magic. These people are very regal and are "perfect" with manners. They are like your perfect royal people in story books. They are the smartest, but they are also physically the weakest Appearances: They often have bright blonde hair and blue eyes. The color of their skin varies from person to person.​
[FONT=&quot] All of the common folks who don't inherit magical abilities live on the City of Clouds. The city of Clouds gets it's name from it location. It's located directly above West Academy and rests upon strong, magical Clouds of Creation. Clouds of Creation are magically made and are solid, but they are in the air.

[/FONT]
The people of the Kingdom of Orian[/FONT][FONT=&quot] live in the South and excel at Earth magic or Animal magic. They can choose one of either paths: The path of Animal magic or Earth magic. Those who choose the path of Animal magic choose a sacred animal to be their companion. Those who choose the path of Earth magic is stronger overall and can withstand more damage in a fight. Appearances: They have dark hair, dark eyes, and either tan or dark skin.
[FONT=&quot] All people of the Kingdom of Orian inherit magical abilities. All who finish their training at a place called Phonia, which is essentially the camp, move back to Orian to live out the rest of their lives.

[/FONT]
They all used to live in peace, occasionally having wars with each other, but a Titan is growing stronger. The usual peace will be broken. And everyone will be in danger if he can rise out of the Earth and gains control over his powers. All the groups must team up, whether they like it or not and defeat the Titan or else.​
 

Iris ♥

Senior Member
cooltext1422775118_zps861d8867.png

(Part One)- 1,672 words

Sky was bright, the sun was out. It was a perfect, normal day, but not for Zena Colisco, a girl that lives in southern Arendelle.
Zena is a young teen who lives in Aredelle. She loves the cold but absolutely dislikes any type of heat. "Sun, sun, go away" Zena muttered. She was in her ice house pacing the floor. She shot ice crystals toawrd the sun, but of course, it was no use. Her Guardian named Krist was on her shoulder in "fairy" size. Guardians were able their change shape and form at their will. "Krist, is there any way to make the Sun go away?" She asked. "I'm afraid not, Zena" Krist said as he jumped off Zena's shoulder and transformed into a human like being. Krist thought that Zena was quite childish.
"Time to travel to camp" Krist announced. "If I can't even stand the heat inside the house how can I stand it outside the house?" Zena asked flopping onto her bed. Even that was getting warm. Krist put his hands on his hips as if waiting for Zena to get up. "You must. We can't be late" he said simply.
Zena stood up and walked out of her icy home with Krist at her side. Her platinum blonde hair blew in the wind, and her silver eyes shined in the sunlight
Krist had been with Zena for 3 months. Late in the night, they’d talk about life in camp. In the afternoon, Krist would explain and teach Zena the basics of snow and ice magic.
Today was Zena’s birthday, the day she turns twelve. On every twelfth birthday in everyone’s lives in Arendelle, the child will travel to a place known vaguely as camp. The camp has no exact location and it said to just be a place in space, a place no ordinary person could travel to, alone. The people in Arendelle don’t take birthdays so seriously, too.
As the two walked through the village, the villagers waved. “Good Luck” and “Have Fun” it what they would say. This is what everyone says to those who are traveling to camp. Zena wasn’t paying attention to the villagers though. She was focusing on the white wisps of energy flowing out and behind from Krist’s white robes. She stepped on it, but Krist didn’t seem to acknowledge it. The wisps receded and they no longer flowed out from his robes. Zena thought about something- why were guardians the color of white? Their skin, clothes, and even hair were white.
“Krist? Can I ask you a question?” Zena asked him. “Yes, what is it?” Krist stopped and turned to face Zena. “Why are guardians the color of white?” Zena queried curiously. Krist started walking again and didn’t face Zena anymore. “That is something, even I do not know, sadly” Krist answered. “Oh”
They reached the portal. A silver stone circle was laid onto the ground, or rather built onto. It was like a ring. Intricate carvings and writings spread all over it. As Krist neared it, the carvings grew a dim glow. “This is the portal?” “Yes.” Krist answered. Zena surveyed her surroundings. The portal was in the back of the town; at the base of the mountain range that was beside the village. Snowy tops covered the tops. Green trees grew around the base. The portal looked new; supposedly it kept like that with magic.
Krist stepped within the ring. “Hurry, or we’ll be late.” He said gesturing Zena to walk into the circle. She nodded and stepped beside him. “Portal to camp, the place of training.” He murmured softly. There was a quick flash. Zena covered her eyes, but Krist seemed unbothered by it.
The light quickly faded. Zena opened her eyes and gasped. “This is camp? It’s so cool!” Zena shouted. “Yes it is.” Krist smiled. Fields of green grass spread from left to right. In the distance long buildings were built, on the left and on the right. In the distance, a large, white marble building was standing. Krist pointed at it. “That’s the main hall. There, your new camper orientations will take place. You’ll have to go there by yourself. I can’t go with you. And you should be there in a few minutes so you have to move fast. We are late.” Krist explained. Zena was confused. “But why?” Krist looked at her. “Why what?” “Why can’t you go in with me?” Zena answered. “I can’t stay with you forever. I have to help others prepare for this time.”
“Fine then I’ll just go on my own.” Zena whined walking to the main hall while muttering a few things. She didn’t like being alone, ever. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. Well I’ll be going now.” Krist waved and wisped off. As soon as each teen was taught the basics of magic and escorted to camp, their guardian left to help another teen somewhere else in the kingdom of Arendelle. A tear rolled down Zena’s cheek. “My last words were harsh words, right before he left. I doubt that’d give him a good memory of me.” She muttered.
Zena gazed at her surroundings. Other people, like her, were learning how to created ice objects with magic. Others were being taught how to build a snow fort. Zena soon reached the main hall. She pushed open the door and it creaked opened. “I wonder how it creaks. It’s made of ice.” She whispered to herslef. The floor was of ice too. Zena stepped on the floor and slipped. “I live around ice my whole life and can’t even walk on it. Geesh.” Zena gained balance and walked forward.
The walls were filled with paintings of wild battles. Gruesome scenes were also painted. Then there was a list of everyone who graduated from camp. There were 40,000 people it said. Zena gasped. That was a lot of people. “Where was I supposed to go again?” She whispered to herself. Silently, she walked forward, the hall split into two directions- left and right.
An inscription on the ice wall read “New campers” with an arrow pointing to the left. Zena turned to the left and soon encountered a set of two silver, ice doors. There was a sign “Welcome new campers!” Zena walked in and was greeted by a woman and man. The woman had straight, waist length golden, blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Her hair was left down with silver pins clipping her hair away from her face. The man had spiky platinum blonde hair and silver eyes like Zena’s. The two looked no older than 30, and they were probably in their early 20s. Zena wondered they look so young. How do they manage the whole camp? I mean, the camp’s huge! Both of them were thin and sat at an old wooden desk. They seemed to be waiting for Zena.
“Hello and welcome Zena Colisco. My name is Mrs. Lostre.” said the woman. Her eyes twinkled in excitement. “My name is Mr. Xan. Have a seat.” His voice was strong, but warm. The man gestured to the light blue sofa. It was plain, with no decorations. The most elaborate things on it were the arm rests, which were still very simple. Zena nodded “Thank you.”
Mr. Xan passed a book to the end of the table nearest the Zena. “Take this. It’s a guide book.” Mr. Xan said. The book was thin, it had no more than 70 pages, seemingly. It was a dark blue hardcover type of book. Zena took it and set it on her lap. Mrs. Lostre took a deep breath and began talking. “Guardians are all over the whole camp, and they will guide you. Diana is the training guardian. She is located in the training field. See her for magic practice. Finn is the Medic, he’ll help you if you get hurt in duels. Jack is the Dueling master. He’ll ref all the duels. Julia is the girl’s dorm master. Ice is the boy’s dorm master. Kim and Ann are the cooks in the camp. They manage the kitchen located north of the boy’s dorm. And you’ll see Krist time to time bringing in new campers.” Zena nodded. “All the info should be in that book” She finished. “There are three big rules here. One, do not kill others. Two, do not defy the guardians. Three, do not slack off in training. The other rules are in that book as well.” Mr. Xan said. “Your schedule is in the book. Do you have any questions?” Mrs. Lostre asked. Zena thought for a moment. Life in camp seemed pretty easy. Though she wondered why they even had a camp. She knew that it was for training, but what were they training us for? “What’s the purpose of this camp?” She finally asked. An amused smile spread across Mr. Xan’s lips. “That’s something that you will have to find out on your own.” Zena was suspicious of these two. This wasn’t the answer she wanted. She suspected that the two directors were training them for war, or to attack other kingdoms. But her suspicions didn’t quite fit into her situation. If they were training them then why were they so nice? Maybe Zena was just overthinking things. Mrs. Lostre looked at her watch. “You should go now. You’re going to be late for your training.” Zena nodded and reluctantly walked out of the room and out of the main hall.
When she reached the outside, the sky wasn’t grey anymore, it was a vibrant blue and the sun was just overhead. “Why does it have to be warm here too?” She sighed and opened the guide book. On the front page was a table of contents. She scrolled down to the list. “Rules, Schedules, Guardians…..Camp map!” She flipped to page thirty, where the camp was. It was very simple, not what Zena expected, but after seeing to overly simple sofa in the main hall, this shouldn’t have surprised her.
Author's Note: I know this might be a bit out of place. I shall rewrite it during the week. For now I'll just post it.....


 

Jake Creamer

Senior Member
Iris, I have a question...do you read your work back to yourself out loud? If not, I recommend giving it a shot to help finding those pesky verb tense consistency errors. I love the coming of age story, I think you have a winner of a concept.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top