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The Old Reveller (1 Viewer)

TheMightyAz

Mentor
The Old Reveller



Broad-beamed, belly taught, drooped over belt
tugged tight and buckled with nostalgia, the old
Reveller brews a cocktail of fiction and flies aloft,
sweetly scenting the flippancy of rigmarole.
Cap frayed, worn away from umpteen tippings,
tilted to hide red rims and black reminiscence.
Smiles, each a slant to slide a lie inside,
curled askew – a curious twist of curdled word.
Tattered trim hides eyes, before encouraged,
now discouraged, above a nose like gorgonzola,
inflamed by grog and salt, a seaman’s pilgrimage
weathered unwittingly upon an abandoned face,
where purple cuts, the painless badge of anaesthesia,
paint in well oiled skin a life gone sour.
Arid lips sip chit-chat, while thirst persuades a shaky
paw inside an over crowded pocket –
jangled change: the barman’s cue for the liars fuel.
 
The Old Reveller



Broad-beamed, belly taught, drooped over belt
tugged tight and buckled with nostalgia, the old
Reveller brews a cocktail of fiction and flies aloft,
sweetly scenting the flippancy of rigmarole.
Cap frayed, worn away from umpteen tippings,
tilted to hide red rims and black reminiscence.
Smiles, each a slant to slide a lie inside,
curled askew – a curious twist of curdled word.
Tattered trim hides eyes, before encouraged,
now discouraged, above a nose like gorgonzola,
inflamed by grog and salt, a seaman’s pilgrimage
weathered unwittingly upon an abandoned face,
where purple cuts, the painless badge of anaesthesia,
paint in well oiled skin a life gone sour.
Arid lips sip chit-chat, while thirst persuades a shaky
paw inside an over crowded pocket –
jangled change: the barman’s cue for the liars fuel.
Welcome back!

I'm not good at critique so I can't do that...but you are exceptional at bringing characters to life...he feels so real and alive, beyond the page. Hope that makes sense.
 

TheMightyAz

Mentor
Welcome back!

I'm not good at critique so I can't do that...but you are exceptional at bringing characters to life...he feels so real and alive, beyond the page. Hope that makes sense.

Welcome back? I'm still here you know lol. I'm busy on my short and reading other short stories. I can't put the time in as I'd like in the poetry section so feel uncomfortable posting here. I came across this when looking through my old stuff and thought I'd post and run! :)
 

jenthepen

Staff member
Mentor
I enjoyed this! A well-observed character study that makes the subject of this poem pop into life. This line: 'weathered unwittingly upon an abandoned face,' is just wonderful. :)

jen
 
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