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The love story (1 Viewer)


Two months ago I told you the story.
The story about my coach finally being able to be with the love of his life, 30 years later.
From young and in love and playing games to broken marriages and finally being with each other.
The one constant he told me was the fact that he had a feeling all along that he should’ve been with her. Now 30 years and 1,000 miles apart from each other they have rekindled their love.
I told you this story because I had a deep deep feeling that this story was put in my life to show me what could be if I don’t figure you out soon.
Now I feel the same exact way as he did when he wasn’t with his lover.
From being speechless with you, to being speechless without you.
When you love someone who can’t love you back, you go in head first and expect to be broken, so why does that not soften the blow of the inevitable when it happens?
I want to hate you, my heart wants to hate you. But we both love you, unconditionally.
Falling in love with someone who can’t love you back. How do you keep on learning to love, how do you make it right for yourself.
You fall in love with everything you have, knowing you will be hurt. But it is a hurt I have felt before. The love that was shared was unreal, from singing in the bed after makin’ love to opening up about the secrets that haunted a troubled childhood. How do you hide the love now?
I think the answer is you can’t hide it. The love will always be there. You will always have those everlasting memories. But why do the memories last if the situation is not ideal? How come the love feels like a fairytale, but the happy ending has never been reached for us.
It’s crazy how a love can be rekindled over a simple “wyd this weekend” text and be ended just as quickly as the text was sent.
I knew from the second you came back into my life how this would end. So why did I fall so blindlessly for you again?
Now I am at the point of, do I delete the playlists I made for you, the picture albums of you, the letters I made for you, the plans I made for you in my head? How do I forget someone who has always been a part of my life no matter what happens?
I can’t, that is the problem. The vibes with you have always been immaculate.
From being little kids, going to swim together knowing very well I hate swimming.
Days where all I could remember was that look in your eyes when the sun would hit them perfectly, a scene that would melt me everytime.
Young me would be petrified at the thought of saying anything wrong or doing anything wrong, and then that would be washed away the second I saw your smile.
The fear I had when it came time to kiss you was second to none though, you were just so perfect to me. All I ever wanted was you.
When I could have had you in the early middle school days, why did I allow you to venture to someone else ? If you were my dream girl like you are now, how could the universe allow that to happen?
Would everything have been the same if we were to date back in middle school?
All I know is that the vibes with US, have always been second to none.
Everything in my body was telling me to not go through this again, and then I saw you. And it was over. I was in an instant state of aww. The long blonde hair, the beautiful blue eyes, the long legs and the smile, had me sprung all over again.
The fact that you give me the same exact feeling everytime I see you four years later is so crazy to me.
This time there was no going back from our moment.
From my bed to yours. From Trey Songz to Kehlani. From the swings to our downtown nights, everything was perfectly aligned.
Never have I met someone who could give me constant butterflies, even thinking about you now, butterflies. Every single time I would have the instant cottonmouth and blank state of mind when I am with you, everything felt surreal.
I am nothing but a player tho, I can move on but why can’t I move on from you? Any girl I want can be mine. So why are you so untouchable when you feel so close?
Everyday I think, will I ever feel like this again?
We could go months without talking and you would still be in my mind whether it was a memory or just a simple thought, you are always the constant.
You are the only girl I have ever thought long-term with.
You are the only girl I have ever felt 100% comfortable with.
You are the only girl that really made me want to better myself.
Every time I sit in silence now I am reminiscing over what we had. Every time I smile, I see yours within it.
The good in me wants you to always be happy.
But if you aren’t with me you will never be fully happy.
I mean why else would you keep coming back after all these years?