Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

The Giggle (1 Viewer)

Namyh

Senior Member
The Giggle

In the misty, murky mire of a mangled, marshy mud
rose a Moon betwixt the shadows ‘neath a starry night above.
No bird beat wings. No mouse did squeak. Not even an owl’s hoot
could pierce the stillness clinging to the trees and plants and roots.

I stomped upon the cigarette. The embers fumed and fizzled.
As I turned to go back inside, I swore I heard a giggle;
not large but small, not big but tiny, not huge but very wee

behind the house, down by the marsh’s solitary tree.

I stepped on leaves. I sloshed thru grass. I parted a bush with fear

and beheld a sight, not often seen, uncommonly vivid and rare.
A tiny stadium filled with bugs, some odd, some known by name
were giggling, cheering in tiny voices at an Insect Baseball game!

Miniature floodlights lit the diamond. A roach hit a highball fly.
A beetle with cap and glove caught it. The audience roared and sighed.
I couldn’t believe it! My mind was blown! Legs and feet went limp

as mosquito vendors shouted “Get your hotdogs, burgers and shrimp!”

Mesmerized, my face went slack. The muscles cramped my jaw.

A scene like this comes only once to remember forevermore.
I moved and something snapped or cracked, a limb, a twig, a branch.
All bugs then turned their eyes on me. Their glare….an avalanche!

They scattered in an instant, even turned off all the lights,
and plunged the field in darkness making shadows of the night.
The beating wings, the mouse’s squeak, the owl’s nightly hoot
then pierced the calm to chase the bugs in hungry, hot pursuit.
And the tiny voices faded ‘neath a starry night above
in the misty, murky mire of a mangled marshy mud.


Namyh
 
Last edited:

WhitakerRStanton

Senior Member
In the misty, murky mire of a mangled, marshy mud - This is one of the best lines I have ever read.

You decided to go with form and I will not speak on that. I did enjoy this. How could I not. That opening line, I've rarely liked something that much.
 

Namyh

Senior Member
WhitakerRS - I'm puffed-poet-proud to inject this "giggle" in your day because you've definitely injected one in mine with your words and I don't want a cure. I'm feeling much better now. Thanks WRS for spendin' a spell and enjoying. Namyh
 
Last edited:

petergrimes

Senior Member
Hi Namyh, :)

I love this poem, always have since the first time I read it. Great to be able to come back and read it some more. Everything about it is fantastic. I could go on forever, but you know how I feel about this one. Just love coming back to read it again and again, the atmosphere and the language, it's all top drawer. Brilliant. Cheers for posting it, made me right happy to see it. All the best PG :)
 

Namyh

Senior Member
PG - One evening, I got a flat tire and stopped to change it. After finishing, I heard what sounded like a small giggle coming from a wooded area behind me. I disregarded it but sometime later, I awoke hearing that giggle at 2:37 in the morning. I grabbed my lucky yellow #2 pencil with the bite marks and the rest is bug giggle history. Makes this poet home-run proud you loved it. Now, you're gettin' me all misty eyed and I can't find my Holiday Inn towel anywhere. Whoa! LOL. Thanks Peter. Namyh
 
Last edited:

WhitakerRStanton

Senior Member
Whitaker - I'm puffed-poet-proud to inject this "goggle" in your day because you've definitely injected one in mine with your words and I don't want a cure. I'm feeling much better now. Thanks WS for spendin' a spell and enjoying. Namyh
You don't understand how much I love this. I don't have children, but I would like to read this to them. Well maybe not children, but as an adult I find this delightful. I've come back to read this. I'm no one, but it's something.
 

Cris V

Senior Member
What a delightful read! The first line is simply spectacular. I want to read it over and over. The rhythm and rhyme, for the most part, works really well, and it adds to the whimsy of an insect baseball game. It's the kind of fun read that makes you want to go back to it over and over again.
 

Namyh

Senior Member
CrisV - You can come back anytime and read again to your heart's content. Mighty proud to inject some giggle-happy-whimsy into your day. Now I got some in mine. Thanks for the uplift dosage Dr. Cris. Namyh
 

Namyh

Senior Member
Phil istine - That first sentenced rattled in my head for a while after waking, a prime indicator of how much space was available in there. LOL. Glad to hear from you PI. Namyh
 

Namyh

Senior Member
Whitaker - You are indeed someone and I do understand. You can read this to both children and adults with my blessing for their smiles and for their giggles. Now I feel MY own giggle is about to erupt. Better stand back WRS! It's gonna be a big one! Here it comes!! Whoa! LOL. Namyh
 

tonsonenotany

Senior Member
I really like this - some of my favorite lines include "the embers fumed and fizzled" and the opening line as others have said.

My only real criticism is the second-to-last stanza. It communicates the plot point well enough, but to me "my face went slack" is a bit overkill. And "A scene like this comes only once to remember forevermore." tells what has already been shown. I think that actually the last two lines, which are more action-oriented, carry the plot quite well while maintaining your tone. Obviously you have quatrains with long lines, so that's not super easy to fix, but it did trip me up on read and re-read.

Thanks for the share of this wonderful poem!
 
  • Like
Reactions: PiP
Top