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The Forgotten Land of Myria- Prologue :) (1 Viewer)

Nathan_Milward

Senior Member
It must’ve been in the last few years of the episode of the plague for it seemed the wipeout was just about to be executed. Soaring through the sky were a pair of satellites detecting the underground barriers that had been placed, and, from a distance, I could sense the squad of Cessna AT-8 planes carrying the missile that would (at least they thought it would) put an end to the destructive pandemic.
That’s the way they saw it. On the other hand, normal non-ignorant humans (an almost extinct species nowadays), saw it as the dissipation of an entire nation, suffering under an irreversible pandemic, resulting in the death of all its citizens against their own will. Once again an example of the most repulsive behavior of the brainless human (the predominant species). Selfishness. Favoritism. Prejudice. The reluctancy to take the neighbor’s burden upon themselves. Cowardice. The unwillingness to sacrifice a part of them, or take a risk, to hold out their hand for those in need. All of these behaviors crammed into one missile that would get their “problems” out of the way. It’s easier right? Sentencing millions of lives to death without giving them the right of defense? From what I know, that goes against everything that society ever fought for. How worthless.
My eyes raced through the crowd of miserable people. The Nieles-47 pandemic had its victims slowly dissolving into a vegetative state of pain. The virus that caused all of this was deadlier than I could ever imagine. I could see people doubled up in pain as it took over them. Yes, it was forty years ago, when the world met such events that would change our history forever.

After walking through a valley where bodies lay dead, I came across a middle-aged somewhat feeble man. It was the Messenger. Kneeling face down on the ground, he gestured towards the heavens. His hands reflected a source of light that began to heat up everything around him. As he lifted his head, fierce winds swooped through his thick dry hair and ripped garments, revealing the scar on his chest. His face drew the expression of wrath and power, but, at the same time, a deep peace as if he was a newborn baby being wrapped by his father’s tight embrace.
His eyes were fiery yellow almost like a flame. They beamed with both the reflection of rage and peace. His hands, now producing a flaming substance, a blue fire, grasped the Sephiroth. The spear was clothed in purple and gold, interlaced with emeralds and stones, with three sharp ends that glowed of the bright blue flame. He lifted the Sephiroth and, with overpowering might, struck the ground which began to create a large crater around him as he sank. Bursts of magma shot up and were disintegrated by the compressed power around the forming crater. The land around, slid apart, as the crater continued to sink. There was a loud rumble and everything began to shake uncontrollably. Trees that stood near the phenomenon were knocked loose, but to my awe he kept his ground. The crust of land around the crater was torn loose and sank under a body of water that began to rise.
Soon the furious winds and bursts of magma and beams of light came to an abrupt halt as a began to form on the core of the crater where the Messenger stood. He scurried away clawing the crater and climbing out as fast as he could. The crack grew a little larger as a stream of a crystal clear water spurted out of it. It looked as bright and vivid as I see it nowadays. The water carried the blue substance in the messenger’s hands which, mixing with the liquid in the water, became a glittering thick oil. It gushed on along with the water as the stream, overflowing with life filled the crater and gave birth to the Fountain.
The Messenger then filled a cylindrical flask of glass with some of the anointed water and attached the glass container to his spear. The entire spear glowed with the blaze of blue that had created the oil.
He slowly picked himself up, shook the dirt and ashes that covered him, and set out boldly toward the peak of Torak. Nearing the summit it became more visible. The sky was covered in clouds. The Messenger set foot on the peak of Torak gazing upon the valleys, hills and small islands that were about to be destroyed. He saw all of the people and living creatures that were crying out for something to save them.


Meanwhile, the satellites had secured the barriers and the Cessnas were a few hundred feet away. The missile was about to be released. The Messenger, raised the Sephiroth and gave it another strike against the ground this time with the flask shooting out a flame from the tips of the spear. The conflagrations were building a force field around the entire area. All of the islands around, were being clouded by the blaze.
A high-pitched emission came from a distance. The missile had just left the cockpit and was heading towards land. While it darted through the air, the Messenger aimed the Sephiroth towards it. A light ray struck the missile, but it wasn’t enough. Muscles tightened as he strained to destroy the death bomb but only a few scraps were torn away. The missile neared the Messenger who, in an act of desperation, deflected it, crash landing it onto the water. The impact tore through the force field as the missile dissipated. Nevertheless, such energy reacted in strong waves as the islands began to drift. I could hear the yells of the citizens, who despite the suffering from the disease, didn’t have a single clue what was going on.
“Look out!”, a desperate villager yelled as a boulder was split in half, with the top half sliding off and smashing into one of the villages.


From the commander of the Cessna AT-8’s point of view, the missile had struck. The squad flew away securing the mission as completed. After the last Cessna was out of sight, the Messenger lifted one of his hands and made a slight gesture seizing the explosion in the water as the missile slowly deactivated. As he looked around he saw that the impact really had caused destruction to most of the area. There were only a few survivors, shocked, trying to understand the occurring of such events. The clouds began to clear away and a grin slid into his face. The turn of events was just around the corner. He then lowered his hands and began to descend from Mount Torak to aid the survivors and explain the events that had occurred.


After the bombing, the “real society’s” forces had presumed that the entire area of the Auckland Islands had really been wiped out, putting an end to the disease. Taken that thought, they disregarded that area of land to have ever existed and left it forgotten. The rest of the world also agreed to leave the satellite’s underground barriers that blocked out the area affected by the missile. That way, no human from the outside would be able to enter it, mostly to keep the nuclear waste and the remains of the disease from invading the outside. It was fenced out from the rest of the world. Segregated.
They were partly correct. A lot of it really had been destroyed due to the missile’s impact in the water. The damage actually did kill thousands. But there were survivors. There were still pieces of deformed land that remained, and could be reconstructed.


The force field formed by the Messenger, having been torn, was ripped into specks of dust, carrying the substance in the his flask. The oil, created through the Messenger’s hands, was called Myrrh. It’s anointing carried a new form of life, for the few remaining survivors. It didn’t only hold the cure for such a deadly disease. It held a promise. The creation of a new world that would experience things that any normal human would think to be fantasy. A whole society apart from the rest of the world. A new society. The Forgotten Land of Myria. A world that would never be discovered due to the barriers placed to separate it from the rest of the planet. Not until now.


As for the Messenger, it is said, he was never seen again.
 

bazz cargo

Retired Supervisor
Hi Nathan,
I remember the fear of putting myself out there for the first time. Will 'They' rip me to pieces? Am I good enough to cut it? It takes a brave leap of faith to put oneself and one's work on the line. Well good news, you have made an excellent start.

This is an interesting concept. Mixing plague with aspects of sci fi and fantasy. I detect a nod to Christian based religion as well.

You obviously have a powerful imagination but the technical side could do with some polish.
During the last few years of the plague when it seemed the wipeout was just about to be executed a pair of satellites detected the underground barriers that had been placed. (Barriers to what or for what or why?) From a distance, I could sense a squad of Cessna AT-8 planes carrying the missile that would (at least they thought it would) put an end to the destructive pandemic.

World building is one of my favourite pastimes. The world you have built is already deeply complex and ready for exploration. The characters are interesting and the 'historical context' adds verisimilitude.

So far your main 'I and They' contestants lack any definition. The Messenger seems interesting.

I suggest you try some flash fiction and practise the art of minimalism. It won't take long to get a feel for what needs to be edited out to make an easy read.

Good first step. It won't be long before you are running.
Bazz
 

Nathan_Milward

Senior Member
Thank you so much for the tips! yes, I could really polish the technical side, which is what I'll do once I'm done (I like to work by the "seat-of-the-pants" method, where editing is the last step).

Also, about my 'I and They' contestants, I should indeed work on a better definition of "They", although I have left the identity of the narrator unknown on purpose. I have done this only for the Prologue, for it is meant to be more of a "stage-setter", that focuses on telling how the Forgotten Land of Myria came into existence. Therefore, the narrator of the Prologue will only be revealed later on (as for the regular chapters, I write on a first-person unlimited POV, working with multiple narrators).

Lastly, in response to your statement, yes I have set a religious theme to my novel, but with the intent of reaching all religions. Although, I'm a Christian, I've been working hard to make the spiritual references in my novel 100% liberal, letting the reader make his/her's own conclusion. But yes, there's a nod to Christianity :)

Once again, thank you so much for you patience, attention, and willingness to help. It has helped boosts my will-power, and given me confidence towards my initiative.

I'm eternally grateful :D

Nathan.

P.S. would you mind explaining the concepts of flash-fiction and minimalism? I'd really like to add that to my skill-sets.
 

bazz cargo

Retired Supervisor
Righty o.
Flash fiction is a very short short story. There is a regular exercise that takes place on WF. Follow the link and it will take you there.

Literary Maneuvers - Fiction Competitions

When you have so little space it means every word counts. Every nuance must be finely developed. Superlatives become a contentious issue. It is a bit like a poet cramming an emotional roller-coaster into a haiku.

I recommend taking a look at some of the entries to the Literary Manouvers. You can learn a lot from other writers and the reports. When you feel a little more settled I think joining in would do you good.

I'm glad you are here and willing to take part in our little community.

Work well and prosper.
Bazz
 

Saiknohx

Senior Member
This is a really good start. I like how The Messenger was just this wordless, messianic figure and no one seemed to notice him (Also quite curious about the scar...). The only thing that got to me was the spear being named Sephiroth, and that's only 'cause I kept thinking of the villain.
 

Fressno

Senior Member
Holy crap, this made me want to read more. For me this is complex. I sense you have a whole world already written down. this i could never do. thats why im waiting to see what more you will be writing =)
Only two things made me beeing thrown of course was the water made into oil, and how the narrator could see this, where was he/she when this happend?
the messenger must have seen the narrator, or? =)
I wont spoil your identity of the narrator, i do love a mystery =)
keep it up, i want more =)
 

Nathan_Milward

Senior Member
Holy crap, this made me want to read more. For me this is complex. I sense you have a whole world already written down. this i could never do. thats why im waiting to see what more you will be writing =)
Only two things made me beeing thrown of course was the water made into oil, and how the narrator could see this, where was he/she when this happend?
the messenger must have seen the narrator, or? =)
I wont spoil your identity of the narrator, i do love a mystery =)
keep it up, i want more =)

Thank you so much! And about the narrator, i have chosen to keep him unidentified for the Prologue (for the Prologue ONLY). He will be revealed later on. I'll try my best to make the fictional universe of Myria more and more vivid. I've been working on plot, characters, settings, etc. 24/7, and intend for it to be a possible a 4-5 book series. That's my main goal, but for now I'm working vigorously on setting the theme boldly on book 1. I've written around 40,000 words (15 Chapters) so far, and posted a sample chapter earlier today (Chapter 14). It's right in the plot-builder of the story (which will be tough to pick up on) but I'll be posting chapter by chapter in chronological order from now on :)
 

Nathan_Milward

Senior Member
If anything, Gungnir would be a good name. It's a great go-to for a spear name.

you know what? That's an excellent name! it's got a legendary sort of medieval touch to it. I like it! Another big problem I have is the villain of the story. His name is Theon :( only halfway into the book, when I began reading Game of Thrones, did I realize it.
 

Robert_S

Senior Member
Selfishness. Favoritism. Prejudice. The reluctancy to take the neighbor’s burden upon themselves. Cowardice. The unwillingness to sacrifice a part of them, or take a risk, to hold out their hand for those in need. All of these behaviors crammed into one missile that would get their “problems” out of the way.

Is there a way to be more direct on these few lines? I found myself rereading because once I hit the sentence, "All of these behaviors crammed into one missile..." I thought, but they were holding out a helping hand...oh wait, no, that's not what he said.

That is why I tend to favor directness on actions that are final, definite and irreversible. But that's just me.
 
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