Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

The Day Stood Still (1 Viewer)

SocratesIsMe

Senior Member
In this brief time we speak, we hold hands and through our eyes we communicate a story without words. I am lost in a trance with your beauty, I see every imperfection of our human body but somehow it holds perfect. All that there is, is now. All that there will ever be is now. There is no future and no past, our gazes and smirks are like a painting portraying all of human perception. This is all that we are and all that we will ever be but it holds so beautiful, impeccably.
 

John Oberon

Senior Member
Really.

I wonder if you could explain the meaning or at least the purpose of this little ditty, because all I see is a bunch of vague, hyperbolic nonsense. You're trying to say something grand I suppose, but no clue what it is. How about a hint?
 

SocratesIsMe

Senior Member
Really.

I wonder if you could explain the meaning or at least the purpose of this little ditty, because all I see is a bunch of vague, hyperbolic nonsense. You're trying to say something grand I suppose, but no clue what it is. How about a hint?
I don't see a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense, I'm basically saying that we are human and that it's ok. Nothing more or nothing less and our bodies are limitations, in the mind there aren't limitations but within our bodies we have boundaries we cannot cross. You may have not seen it or understood it but this is what I was trying to say, take that as it is.
 

John Oberon

Senior Member
I don't see a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense, I'm basically saying that we are human and that it's ok. Nothing more or nothing less and our bodies are limitations, in the mind there aren't limitations but within our bodies we have boundaries we cannot cross. You may have not seen it or understood it but this is what I was trying to say, take that as it is.

I see...well, that's not grand at all, is it? Not to mention false...our minds have all sorts of limitations. I suppose it's best to be OK with being human, seeing we have no choice in the matter. At any rate, if that's what you were trying to say, I think you said it very poorly in your first post, and much better in your second, though it's false and mundane. What was your purpose in trying to say it? A strong purpose usually helps communication mightily.
 

SocratesIsMe

Senior Member
I see...well, that's not grand at all, is it? Not to mention false...our minds have all sorts of limitations. I suppose it's best to be OK with being human, seeing we have no choice in the matter. At any rate, if that's what you were trying to say, I think you said it very poorly in your first post, and much better in your second, though it's false and mundane. What was your purpose in trying to say it? A strong purpose usually helps communication mightily.
False... we have no limitations in the mind, we travel to different dimensions within our brain in our sleep, we can go anywhere. We can turn into superheros and fly or anything really so there really isn't any limits with creativity linked to our mind. For the human part, well yes we have no choice and were stuck with our bodies until further notice.

Well the purpose was to just say what I feel I guess, I wrote that in I'd say 5 minutes and I just decided to post it up. No big deal just putting up my first post heh.

To me it is something grand because as humans we are stuck in this body, we will die and that will be it for your identity, the future holds much more promise, death is a disease and a part of life for now but that will change. Us humans will eventually live forever without this body I suppose. What are we? complex beings, cell and molecules in conjunction. Thoughts and ideas and that's all..... HEH ;)
 

-xXx-

Financial Supporter
I was initially thrown by this appearing in non-fiction.
I read it a couple of times, read the responses, went through the various parts of my day and returned.

In this brief time we speak, we hold hands and through our eyes we communicate a story without words.
I have romantic tendencies, but I'm still looking at "non-fiction".
speak and communicate a story without words;
double messages?
maybe drop the speak part altogether if projection is the focus?

I am lost in a trance
with your beauty,
I see every imperfection
of our human body
but somehow it holds perfect.

it now appears to be a piece of poetic prose.


All that there is, is now.
All that there will ever be is now.
There is no future and no past,
our gazes
and smirks
are like a painting
portraying all of human perception.

This is all that we are
and all that we will ever be
but it holds so beautiful,
impeccably
.



I would move this to poetry
and call it either
-molly-
or
-oxytocin-

I think it voices well physical attraction
and the lure of novelty;
possibly a person reliving a memory
or
savoring a fantasy.

No harsh commentary intentions; just feedback.
I'm going to go with "Autobiographical Non-Fiction".
:)
 
Last edited:

John Oberon

Senior Member
False... we have no limitations in the mind, we travel to different dimensions within our brain in our sleep, we can go anywhere. We can turn into superheros and fly or anything really so there really isn't any limits with creativity linked to our mind. For the human part, well yes we have no choice and were stuck with our bodies until further notice.

Well the purpose was to just say what I feel I guess, I wrote that in I'd say 5 minutes and I just decided to post it up. No big deal just putting up my first post heh.

To me it is something grand because as humans we are stuck in this body, we will die and that will be it for your identity, the future holds much more promise, death is a disease and a part of life for now but that will change. Us humans will eventually live forever without this body I suppose. What are we? complex beings, cell and molecules in conjunction. Thoughts and ideas and that's all..... HEH ;)

No, we cannot go anywhere with our minds. We can imagine it, but imagination does not create the reality. We are talking non-fiction, right?

Yes, now that IS a grand thought, but it is not non-fiction, but philosophy, a belief. Many people believe otherwise.

I agree with xXx. I think you have a heart for poetry, not non-fiction. Why don't you visit the poetry section? Buncha people over there would be delighted to meet you, I think.
 

SocratesIsMe

Senior Member
Well all this is nonfiction yea, philosophy, poetry yeep. I didn't realize that I put this in the wrong section heh. Didn't pay attention to the sections as well.

Thanks for the input, though. :)
 

SocratesIsMe

Senior Member
I was initially thrown by this appearing in non-fiction.
I read it a couple of times, read the responses, went through the various parts of my day and returned.





I would move this to poetry
and call it either
-molly-
or
-oxytocin-

I think it voices well physical attraction
and the lure of novelty;
possibly a person reliving a memory
or
savoring a fantasy.

No harsh commentary intentions; just feedback.
I'm going to go with "Autobiographical Non-Fiction".
:)

Thanks for some input and I take nothing harsh from what you have said. Molly or oxytocin.... HEH... Nice one.

Yea this would fit in poetry, hope someone can move it there. The speak and communicate doesn't work now that I see. I have to choose one and I'd go with communicate.

Philosophical intentions was my point of view. Also some romance but I think you get the picture
 

-xXx-

Financial Supporter
The speak and communicate doesn't work now that I see. I have to choose one and I'd go with communicate.
nope.
the beauty of writing is that you don't have to choose
one or the other.
read your word choices.
what do you wish to convey?
brainwave synchronicity?
simple approve/disapprove through eye contact?


Philosophical intentions was my point of view. Also some romance but I think you get the picture
tread lightly.
even young girls understand "spun".
bamboozle is a turn->off.

philosophy.
well, yeah...doesn't match with non-fiction.

I think you can work with this,
if you are so inclined.
:)
 
Last edited:

SocratesIsMe

Senior Member
I think you can work with this,
if you are so inclined.
:)
Brainwave synchronicity... Yeeeeh ;)
Simple approve/disapprove?? to simple hehehh, its much more than that.

You wrote before about speak and communicate and questioned (double messages?) Well yea they are 2 different messages so I guess yea double messages but not equal, sorry for the delay. I know I said they didn't work before HEH.
 

-xXx-

Financial Supporter
*magically transported to poetry*
*thinks metaphysically*
*thumbs through dictionary*
*imagines becoming one with a wall*
*without projecting self,*
*dominating/suppressing the nature of an independent,*
*or straight up egocentric fantasy/reality construct*
*rereads delta wave info*
;)
 
Top