EXT. OUTSIDE OF PARTY HOUSE—-NIGHT
DARREN and JASON exit a cab, directly in front of a home bustling with activity, lights flashing and music blaring as the party is fully underway. DARREN and JASON begin walking towards the house.
Man, I don’t know how I let you drag me
Come on Darren, this party is gonna be
off the CHAIN! The chick who’s throwin
it, I heard she invited all her friends
from some sex club she’s in, you know
what that means?
I’m afraid to ask.
Oookaay… but I’m not looking for free
ass. I just want to find a nice woman who
I can actually have a conversation with.
Is that too much to ask?
Look man, I know you been burned and
shit. And I know the last few dates
you’ve been on were pretty fucked up…
DARRENS eyes roll to the back of his head and he starts to turn around, but JASON grabs him, placing both hands on his shoulders. (beat)
Don’t worry about that tonight. We’re
here, there’s a party, just enjoy
yourself man. What’s the worst that could
INT. PARTY HOUSE—-NIGHT
DARRENS eyes move back and forth nervously. He is wary of the people seated around him, nearly out of control drunk, same as most of the people at the whole damn party, all of them dancing to the song “ALLIGATOR WOMAN” by Cameo. Knew he shouldn’t have trusted JASON.
DARREN tries to get off the couch, but a steady stream of people recklessly dancing in front of him make it impossible.
JASON is one of the drunkest of all. He has a necktie tied around his head. JASON dances wildly, stumbling towards the couch.
Dude, you gonna ass kiss the couch all
night or what? Come on man, look at all
these women!!WHOOOAHHH! PARTY TIME!
JASON stumbles, about to walk away before DARREN (still seated) grabs him by the arm.
Jason! Jason! Look, this isn’t me man, I
think it’s time for me to go.
Come on man! We just got here!
Jason, we’ve been here for two hours!
JASON stares at DARREN with a puzzled look, tugging on the tie(beat).
Really…then I know your ass must hurt
cause that couch don’t look too
DARREN slides back into the couch, an embarrassed and weary look on his face. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a girl seated on the couch who wasn’t there before. She shyly looks at him, slightly smiling.
Your uh…your friend , he’s really
Uh yeah, he… he loves his liquor
I noticed you don’t have a cup…
Naw, not me. I don’t drink. Well, I do,
but uh…I think everybody here’s drunk
enough for me…
DARREN is distracted as he turns his head and looks at JASON, dancing wildly with some female. JASON looks over at DARREN, who upon seeing him sitting and talking with a woman begins smiling widely, nodding his head up and down and poking his finger through an imaginary hole.
DARREN, a startled look on his face, quickly turns around, only to be startled again, as he joins GIRL in forming a wide-eyed, open mouthed, stunned expression. They are both staring at a hefty guy dancing in front of the couch beginning to remove his clothing. They both look at each other and just so happen to say the same thing.
You want to get out of here?
GIRL drives along, DARREN seated next to her. They are both smiling, while having a casual conversation.
I’m sorry, I…I didn’t even get your name?
JASMINE. And you are…
Darren,(beat)… that’s nice. It’s okay, I
mean it was pretty chaotic back there.
I don’t even know why I came. I knew I
shouldn’t have let Lizzy talk me into it.
Hey, you never know? It’s not that late,
the night’s still young. Something good
can still come of it. I mean, we met.
That’s true. You do seem pretty
DARREN begins to smile(beat). Suddenly, DARREN begins sniffing, looking a little worried.
You’re right. The night is still young,
if you don’t want me to take you straight
home, I know this twenty-four hour diner
that’s got the best cheese-steak.
DARREN is still sniffing. He is smiling but beginning to look uncomfortable.
Hey that…that’s great. If you’re up for
it, I’d love it. So how umm (looking
around)… how do you know Lizzy?
We’re both members of this therapy group.
But I’m thinking about leaving it. I
don’t know, it just seems like a big
waste of time.
Oh really? (beat)
DARREN pleasantly smiles, as JASONS sex group remark replays itself in his head.
Why are you thinking about leaving?
Oh y’know, typical Freudian psycho babble
bullshit. To me, it seems like most
shrinks just like to hear themselves
talk. It’s like they try and make your
problems seem like they’re worse than
So true, so true. I mean, I’ve only known
you for a short time, but you don’t seem
like you need help to me.
(Huge smile comes across her face) Thank
you! That’s so sweet. I knew you were
different. I could just tell.
Suddenly a somewhat slightly offended look forms across DARRENS face, as he begins sniffing and looking around, all the while still trying to maintain the spirit of the conversation, even laughing slightly.
Did you uh…run over a dead dog or
Sorry (smiling). My bad. Whenever I get…
happy…I get like…uncontrollable
flatulence. But it’s not that bad. I’ve
dealt with it since growing up. My mom
taught me that I shouldn’t be ashamed of
a natural body function, and everybody
does it. I just do it in spades. (begins
laughing) OOOP! ‘Scuse me.
DARREN sits silently, a look of horror on his face. Suddenly, JASMINES cell phone rings.
Who could this…oh, it’s Lizzy. What’s up? Girl,
I’m sorry but it was time for me to go! I
did not want to catch the flabby patty
peep show! (beat) He did what?(breaks
DARREN has a very uncomfortable smile on his face as he tries to discreetly place his hand over his mouth and cover his nose.
You lying? In the punch bowl! Oh my God! (laughter)
DARREN begins gagging a little. He tries to hold it back discreetly, still holding one hand over his mouth, using the other to try and franticly wave his hand in front of his nose, his head is turned towards the window.
Are you serious? Oh my God, we should
have stayed! (laughing hysterically)
DARREN begins wiping his eyes, which are watering.
I KNOW, I know. But it just wasn’t my
scene. And I met this guy DARREN who
needed a ride home. (JASMINE looks at
DARREN, who hurriedly turns in her
direction, forcing a smile upon his
Okay. See you tomorrow. (ends phone-call,
looks over at DARREN) Are you okay?
Yeah…yeah I’m fine. Well, actually I’m…
I’m a little tired, and uhm… I got work
tomorrow too.You mind if I call it a
Oh, okay. That’s fine. Actually, I gotta
get up pretty early tomorrow too. So umm…
you mind if I get your number? Or better
yet, let me give you mine, cause I always
have a pretty funky schedule, y’know?
Oh I believe you! I mean, that’s fine…
DARREN turns back around, mumbling (thank you god *3, while JASMINE fumbles through her purse)
Hope you don’t mind if I smoke?
DARREN slowly turns around and his eyes begin to widen as he sees JASMINE holding a lighter in her hand.
(Moving in slow motion) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(reaching to try and grab the lighter.
INT. JASONS APARTMENT—NIGHT
JASONI’m coming, I’m coming. ( JASON walks
to answer door, holding his head from
EXT. OUTSIDE JASONS APARTMENT DOOR—NIGHT
DARREN punches JASON in the face, turns around and slowly walks down hallway, smoke coming from his person. JASON is lying on floor, holding his nose.
JASONDude…what was that for…? (begins
sniffing) What the hell is that