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The Cape (His Sketch) (1 Viewer)

Chesters Daughter

Staff member
Global Moderator
Wesley, you've an excellent command of sound, and string syllables in a fine fashion to create impeccable aural quality. Your command of imagery is no less exceptionally executed, unique and brilliant, it grabs the mind. I must, however, agree with some who came before me that if imagery is not meshed to create a complete picture, the reader is often left scratching their head. All the lovely sounds and images in the world are pleasant on their own, indeed, but in my opinion, a poem should ultimately deliver a discernible message or tale that a reader can embrace. If a poet goes too abstract, readers are left with snapshots that do not gel, however lovely they may be. Please take all opinions with a grain of salt, dear, for that is what they are, opinions. Nowhere are they engraved in stone and worshiped. And never, ever consider shelving a work because of an opinion. I've gone too abstract myself on more than one occasion, and find that a line inserted here and there to serve as a bridge to connect the dots often works to alleviate the feel of disjointedness. Hope this helps.

Lisa

It has not been lost on me that there has been a recent spate of posts in multiple threads in which poorly veiled almost snipes are being employed in an attempt to devalue the opinions of other posters. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and no one should be targeted for theirs. It is fine to disagree with another poster, and discussion of critique is valuable and encouraged within creative threads, but such discussion should not devolve into rudeness, or become so heated and on-going that it distracts from the work being presented for critique. I politely request that everyone keep in mind that every thread belongs to its originator, and dissecting the opinions of others for post after post is intrusive and unfair to the OP. Thank you for your valued attention.
 
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shedpog329

Senior Member
To me this is about two people flirting, judy and the man. i thought it was rather good some parts i had trouble with but thats my falt for not studying enough but i thought it was good. Judys eyes hiding behind the cloche
was a big part of this for some reason they glance but he never sees into her eyes interesting!!
 

Space Cadet

Senior Member
I've gone too abstract myself on more than one occasion, and find that a line inserted here and there to serve as a bridge to connect the dots often works to alleviate the feel of disjointedness. Hope this helps.


Thank you for the comment and critique. Sorry, got to this post late. I believe you're spot on with this. A lot of images to play with, but needs to have a more concise message. Thank you again for reading (and the email as well). Wesley
 

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