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T.S.O.T (1 Viewer)

Ty G

Senior Member
This is the first few pages of my script that I've been working on called "T.S.O.T: Exiled." Does it work? Does this make you want to continue reading? These are some of the things I'm looking for. Also what are some ways to improve it? I'm open to any questions. Please be as critical as possible; I am new to writing and need all the help I can get!
 
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