Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Sunny Day (1 Viewer)

Nenada

Senior Member
Really lovely, celebrating all of life's pleasures. I like the euphoria in your words.
 

Lubu

Senior Member
I like your writing style, it flows nicely.

While, the sun embrace their hearts.

you don't need the comma.
 

toddm

Best Seller
Senior Member
Very positive and uplifting piece - full of youth and simple happiness.
Here are few of my suggestions, take or leave any or all of them:

Shinning light in the sky. "Shining"
Blue birds sing, & fly by. why "&" here and not in line 7? also, no comma

Parent's hearts, filled with love "The hearts of parents" may work better
at sight of children play, "at the sight" would match the next line - delete "play" as "playing" is the next word- maybe add "the" before children
playing in the field of roses.

Running through golden trails
with sea doves, and ocean plains. great pair of lines

While, the sun embrace their hearts no need for comma here - also "embraces"
happliness, blossoms in their souls. "happiness" and no comma - also "blooms might be better than "blossums" here
Excitement enters their hearts
Joyous occasion to be.These final lines could be improved perhaps by becoming: "An excitement enters their hearts
at the joyous occasion to be."

Great work - keep writing!
 
Top