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Star Crossed Lovers (1 Viewer)

Red-James

Senior Member
Star Crossed Lovers
The evening was late, moments before twilight graced the heavens with its majestic display of brilliant hues and tones, which would harmonize with the sky only briefly, before giving way for the tranquility the darkness had to offer in its distinctive form. The sky flashed momentarily, a roar and a hiss disrupted the silence, but then all was soundless again.
A gentle breeze drifted carelessly through the lofty timbers and into the spacious meadows, persuading the tall blades of grass to dance rhythmically as if choreographed by some higher meaning.
Just outside of the tree line stood a tall, lone figure. The soft warm, breeze wafting his lengthy auburn hair over his broad shoulders. His firm bare chest rose and fell as he inhaled the sweet fragrance of the evening. His luminous, green eyes, lingered up to the celestial demonstration that was taking place.
He truly didn’t comprehend what had propelled him to this spot. He wasn’t even aware at what he had been doing prior to this moment. His mind was a complete blank, but oddly this did not hinder him.
The last of the miraculous shades had almost faded, and now gleaming fragments began littering the heavens. A shooting star flashed across the sky so close he was sure he could have touched it. His eyes glanced back to the quiet meadow and immediately they transfixed on the solitary figure that now stood in the midst of dancing grasses. The other figure seemed as perplexed as he was that there was someone else out here on this enchanting night.
He could tell the figure was female. Her form was refined and petite and her straight, long, tanned hair shimmered in the radiant light of the moon. The placid wind tossed her long, fluid, sapphire dress carelessly around, hugging her flawless curves.
His heartbeats quickened as he was mesmerized by the very essence of her. He had to wonder if by some coincidence, she was the reason that had compelled him here. He soon realized the distance between them was diminishing. It was then he recognize that it was he that was walking towards her. To his surprise she seemed to welcome his quest to her with an intrigued, timid smirk.
His feet stopped him all of two arm lengths away. He could now see her in her full splendour. Her cheeks were flush with flattery and aspiration. Her lips were full and silky and she bit her bottom lip in a hidden ache of yearning. Her fair bronze eyes lock with his unyielding and welcoming all in one.
As if orchestrated they both took the remaining step forward, closing the gap between them. As if by instinct beyond her control her palms slid up, coming to rest upon his chest. Her fingertips were cool on his skin and almost caused him to gasp. His left hand came up and caressed her cheek and his fingers entangled themselves in the lengths of hair that poured over her elegant ear. Her body gave way to a diminutive quiver and tiny bumps cascaded down her neck and shoulders, defeating the barriers of her dress straps and continuing down to her bare arms. She gasped slightly, her eyes intensifying with urges beyond her comprehension.
He watched her eyes dance and twinkle and he deciphered a long story that needn’t a single spoken word. She too had been compelled to this very clearing this evening but a nameless force.
Her lips moved as if she was about to speak, but stopped, wondering what there really was to say. Instead her hands continued up his chest and around his neck, pulling him forward. Their lips met in an entanglement of passion and unspoken desire. The untainted, devotion of the kiss ignited the unlocking of a chronicle older then time. The kiss, a key of unfathomable power, releasing the minds of two immortal beings… two lovers. True love cursed forever by pure jealousy, life times before.
Their lips parted and their eyes connected. So many things to say, and yet never the time in their few short moments to have and to hold. Unspoken words that their voices could never find poured through the emotion glimmering in their eyes. Another century past, another moment lived…
A sudden flash of blinding light erupted, leaving the grassy clearing vacant. As fast as it had occurred it had ended, leaving no trace it had ever taken place behind, save one. Two stars in the sky the shone brighter than the rest. Two star-crossed lovers whose love was forsaken…
 

Cody

Senior Member
I like this one more than Judas kiss, because this one seems to have a better balance of description, which is clearly not only your strong point as a writer, but also your passion. A few sentences seemed a bit on the longish side.

The evening was late, moments before twilight graced the heavens with its majestic display of brilliant hues and tones, which would harmonize with the sky only briefly, before giving way for the tranquility the darkness had to offer in its distinctive form.

That seems like can maybe be broken up, but long sentences are also my weakness as a writer. It's a beautiful opening line and really sets the romance tone.

This line brings out the swooning 13 year old girl in me.

The soft warm, breeze wafting his lengthy auburn hair over his broad shoulders.
 

Red-James

Senior Member
I am glad you liked this one, it was actually i dream i had a while back, i woke up at 2am and ran down stairs and had to write it before i forgot it, lol. And yes i like very descriptive writing, thou not all my writing is super descriptive. And i am glad it brought out the swooning 13 year old girl in you..lol I was actually thinking of writing a prequil to this story, not sure thou
 

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