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Spanish Civil War (2 Viewers)

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qwertyman

WF Veterans
I am seeking a beta reader for my Spanish Civil war themed MS.


TITLE: The Bitter Root
GENRE: Crime mystery.
WORD COUNT: 76k
BLURB: In 1936 Franco’s forces sweep through Andalucía. In Estepona, Garragris, a local blacksmith, executes thirty townsfolk.

It’s 1972, London is on strike and Randall Duncan, hard-bitten Ad-man, is struggling to save his agency. The last thing he needs is a distraction, like, Carlos his hated half-brother found on a Spanish mountain with his throat cut.

Reluctantly, he arrives in the sleepy coastal town of Estepona, where everybody knew Carlos, but nobody reported him missing. The Guardia are obstructive, the British Counsel have their hands full with Gibraltar and Randall needs to get back to London. But when he discovers Carlos was killed on the old civil war execution ground, he gets curious and then someone tries to kill him, and Randall gets mad…

SENSITIVITY CONTENT: Offensive language.
AUDIENCE DESCRIPTION: Adult beach read. Low on descriptive narrative, highly paced.
EXPECTATIONS: Any comments on plot holes, boring bits, characters you like and those you don’t…anything you think needs improvement.
TIMESCALE: In your own time, it’s a full-length novel.
AVAILABLE FORMATS: I will send in ‘Word’. You can use the Review>Comment (margin comment facility) if you like or if you prefer, comments at the end of chapters, or even a general critique at the end.


I am happy to reciprocate. Unfortunately, I don’t read fantasy, or sci-fi, so any beta reading in these categories would be useless.


qwerty
 
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qwertyman

WF Veterans
Bless you Taylor,
Beta readers are never late.
I will PM you to-morrow, I am GMT time zone.

qwerty
 

qwertyman

WF Veterans
I'm forever stuck. I'm so stuck in stuckiness, I'm stuckified.

However,...not certain what you mean by, 'Nationalists more curious for fiction tho (?)'

PM me if you would like a sample to get stuck into.

qwerty
 
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Matchu

Senior Member
'Nationalists more curious for fiction tho (?)'

Probably I was suffering from 'what I want to talk about' v 'what I want to talk about.' I studied a lot of Spanish 1930s history & lit. [mainly Republican, and was 'curious' after a colleague mentioned his father fought for Franco.]
 

JBF

Staff member
Board Moderator
Sounds interesting. I'm not as versed in the Spanish Civil War as some, but I'd be willing to take a crack at it.
 
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Matchu

Senior Member
OP's writing a thriller tho'

I explored the graveyard. Before my eyes sat the row of headstones all engraved Fernandez, and the mayor of the town too, he was Fernandez, the waiter also. That night I returned to my hotel room, unable to unravel the mystery, I dressed and I rushed to the graveyard. I would unearth the mystery.

I'd be more inclined toward the trench opener:

Gonzalez spat, rivulets ran down his face, the rain, and our terrain of trench before us. Three troopers armed with a bayonet, a rifle, three rounds and beyond that the mudscape 110 000 Legion troops massed for our destruction.

GREAT WIP IN draft series
 
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qwertyman

WF Veterans
Great news, many thanks. I suggest I send you the first three chapters (in Word.docx) and you tell me if it's something you'd like to get involved with and we'll take it from there.

Is that okay with you?

qwerty
 

Matchu

Senior Member
I'm reading Peter Kemp's account of joining the Nationalists.

The book's giving me a lot of pleasure. His motivation seems rather twisted/archaic, his:

'I wanted to get in & on, do some fighting, killing before marriage, the country estate lifestyle to which I am entitled. Meeting generals in the bistro, Giron opined I might be a lieutenant. "I hate Reds," I replied. We toasted in sherries, while the wines were mainly abominable vintage and coarse, suitable for only peasant foot soldiers, our plucky fellows rested in the stables..'

Later there's very evocative combat scenes...I am halfway through :)
 
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Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
Can I please ask you if you had enough beta readers now, so I can close the thread?
And has it been helpful to you? Thank you.
 

qwertyman

WF Veterans
You can never have enough Beta readers, but if you need the space by all means remove it .

I have had a great response and I'm very grateful to all those who have contributed...thank you.
 
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