Writingforums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Sound Hope (tear this thing apart) (1 Viewer)

S

Satori1

Hope Sound
Its a comic book story. I wrote it in a couple of days.

Pretty much all of the story takes place in a dream with two characters as the narrators. They will mention such things as dream bodies and sterotype cards.
Dreambodies are the host's memories of the people they see in everyday life. Sterotype cards are the host's thought about these dreambodies.
Charries: Angela-the host(dreamer)
Angel-optamistic side of Angela
Ann-pessimistic side of Angela
*have fun*


Page 1
Time: Morning
Backyard Setting: The sun peeks through the clouded sky and beams upon the unevenly trimmed yard of a house beneath it.
Close Shot: On the grass, facing away from the house, Angela sits with her upper body leaning against her arm, and her legs bent to the side so that her feet are tucked near her rear. With her free hand, Angela holds a puppet. She smiles tranquilly as she gazes at something, of which, the audience cannot view.
‘I remember…’ she thinks while drifting into a pleasant daydream. Gradually, her vision blurs then is obscured by wispy clouds.

Page 2
Setting: The sky. Setup: Inside a cloud
Caption: Location: A dream.
In the distance, two, dark silhouettes appear to be rapidly approaching. One of them is an angel-like figure who suspends the other by a chain. Their piercing screams prevents Angela from receding into the dreamlike state.
“Hurry, before we loose them.”
“I’m going as fast as I can,” the angel cries frantically.
"I forbid you to begin!"
“Uh? Can you do that?” They slow to a stop.
“I dunno, but just get rid of this annoying cloud stuff.”
The angel figure gently shakes her head which jingles her circlet of bells.

Page 3
The clouds part, revealing two, almost identical replicas of Angela.
“Whew, I knew they’d still be here.” Huffing, she adds, “You shouldn’t have rushed me so.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Folding her arms, Ann frowns and flicks her eyes up at Angel who is breathless. “Be quiet. I’m not that heavy.”
Angel ignores her.
"Guess I’ll introduce ourselves then." She scowls in disapproval. "I’m Ann and she’s Angel."
Tilting her head Angel acknowledges her name, "Of course I am.”
Ann sighs.

Page 4
"What are we, you ask, and why are we here?” Motioning with her hands, she clarifies, “To be precise, we represent two sides of our host’s mind. Meaning…" Angel releases her, and disappearing into the clouds, she freefalls out of the sky.
"Really, we paused our host’s daydream because we tell her story better." She whispers, "Besides, we’re much more fun. So let’s…gooo!!" Angel descends after her friend.

Page 5
Bursting from the clouds, Angel grabs Ann, along the way, and they descend towards the earth.
“Don’t ever drop me again,” shouts Ann, angrily.
“I won’t.” Ann glares at Angel who sweetly smiles back. “Besides, we’re almost there.”
They descend into the deteriorating downtown area of a small city.
Downtown Setting: Splitting the downtown is a pothole-covered, paved, road. Most of the buildings are old, having either no windows or glass shards sticking out from the window frame. On the left side of the road is the Hillview City Hall, and two buildings down from that is a club called Salsa. The club has a set of front steps leading from it and at its base, a dancer stands.
Caption: State: Unknown. Population: Who cares? Major Attraction: The hills…

Page 6
After landing, Ann yells, "Are you outside your mind?"
"Yes," replies Angel happily.
Snorting she trails the set of dusty buildings with disapproving eyes. "Yeah, just like the inhabitants of this place."
"I think it has a homey charm."
Ann turns her head to the raucous of a small building as it collapses to the ground. "You mean rickety."
“Oh look.” Angel points

Page 7
Following Angel’s indicated direction, Ann frowns when she comes across a curvaceous women leaning against the railing to club Salsa.
“It’s Miss Pepper. Let’s see what she’s up to.” She starts to sprint towards the building but Ange catches her by the arm.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“We’re telling a story. Shouldn’t you explain the stereotype card.”
“Oh, I forgot.” *close shot of the card hanging around Miss Pepper’s neck* “All dream bodies wear an ID formulated by our host.”

Page 8
Holding up her index finger Ann says, “To further explain…”
‘I wonder how much money I’ll earn today. Let’s see…’ From her pocket, Pepper removes a wad of money. ‘Same old change from all the men in town.’ An idea brightens her expression. ‘But the governor! I haven’t depleted the city’s funds in forever. Hmm…’ She pulls out a small makeup kit and starts heavily painting her face.


Page 9
Shrugging her shoulders, Ann comments, “Just as I predicted.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s draining everything out of this city. And no one cares to stop her.”
The angel sets one hand on her hip and furrows her eyebrows. “They’re simply having fun and she’s doing her job.”
“Oh? Fun and work at the expense of others. Let’s look on.”
The door to Hillview City Hall swings open and the fat governor squeezes through it and waddles down the steps.
Knowingly, Ann glances at Angel.

Page 10
Using her mirror to clearly view Governor Shanks as he approaches, Pepper whispers, “Here he comes.”
The governor examines the numerous cracks in the sidewalks. “Another beautiful day.”
“See, this city is charming,” Angel tells Ann who hushes her abruptly.
“Hn?” Pausing with his hand inside his pockets, the governor stands still.

Page 11
“What’s this?”
Making a grand display as she pivots, Pepper’s red lips gleam while her dress swishes around her legs. “Hello Governor Shanks.”
As if she were a sugar glazed donut, Shanks ogles at her and his thick lips curves into a smirk. “Hey there Miss Pepper. What can I do for you?”
She approaches him.
Page 12
“You know what I want.”
“Yeah, I know.” The governor grins.
At the sight of them flirting, Angela’s cheeks fill with color and she quickly shields her innocent eyes. “There ya go Miss, drop by anytime,” she hears the governor say.
“What happened,” Angela asks, removing her hand.
“Take a look.”
{Close shot of a check in Miss Pepper’s hand, worth $25,000 that has been withdrawn from the city’s account.}

Page 13
“I proved my point.”
Before Ann can further bask in her pride, Angel grabs her hand. “Let’s go.” From her belt she removes her wand and lightly rattles the bells which chimes melodiously. A small spiraling cloud of dust flares from the street as they are transported to Angela’s living room.
Living room setting: The only pieces of furniture are a small television, positioned in the middle of the floor, which illuminates the room and its light casts shadows off of a dusty, threadbare, couch situated against the back wall. In front of the room, a door leads outside and to the rear, a hall leads to the back door. There are no windows. Setup: Angela’s siblings are lounging on the couch and blankly staring at the television.
Ann and Angela appear in front of them.
“Poor children,” Angela says, forlornly. “They are most affected by these careless adults.”
“I see nothing wrong. They’re watching t.v.”
Glancing at the screen Ange notices the television displays a fuzzy black and white picture.

Page 14
“They’re so tired of this life.” She pauses. “And we’ve only shown one half.” During Ann’s speech, Angel takes a seat on the arm of the sofa and watches television. “Don’t you understand Angel?” She tightly balls her fist.
“Shh.”
“Angel,” she raises her voice.
Angel flashes her eyes at Ann. “Listen, since you began this story, you’ve only been demeaning this town.”
“Because this place is a monotony of lifelessness.”

Page 15
“Don’t dare confuse me with huge words.” One of the kids passes between them and walks into the kitchen.
“Excuse us,” they say simultaneously then they defiantly face each other.
“Hmph! Angela will prove my point.” Ann faces the audience. “You’re probably unable to see our host’s own dream body. Angel...”
Muttering, she points. “She’s over there.”
Invisible, Angela is sitting in one of the far corners of the room and the only object that distinguishes her from the wall is a card, seemingly floating in midair.

Page 16
“Now you understand the bad influence this town has?.”
"No," Angel retorts.
"Hn. Then you’re blind."
Angel gestures towards Angela and announces, “She’s invisible.” Ann narrows her eyes at Angel.
Sounding from a megaphone, a voice interrupts them. It calls, "Hey everyone, come out here."
“What’s that?” one of the kids asks.
“It sounds like a loud speaker.”
The youngest is in the process of standing up. “Let’s find out.”

Page 17
Setup: Leading to the back door is a hall and along it are entrances to other rooms. The back door is situated between two windows which looks out at the backyard.
They, along with Angela, spring from their seats and briskly walk down the hall.
"Who is that," question's Ann.
Angel hovers to the back window while Ann, with her arms folded, wears a perturbed expression.
Through the glass, Angel views Donald holding a megaphone. He is standing beside a cardboard puppet theater and an array of puppets which forms a small mound on the ground.

Page 18
Squealing, Angel announces, "It’s the new kid. And he has playthings." She leaves the house and joins a small group of children huddled around Donald. Other kids from the neighboring houses rush out of their houses as well.
Page 19
At the window, slanting her eyes, Ann glares at the spirited children as they play with the puppets. "No one can change this pathetic town."
Smiling, Angel watches Donald give Angela, despite her invisibility, an intricately fashioned marionette doll with a painted face. She glances at Ann and her cheerful expression diminishes.
The dream is enshrouded by haze and it returns to the scene in which, Angela is sitting on the grass and is gazing ahead.

Page 20
‘Maybe this city will always be old and dull. But does that mean we must be?’ She hugs the puppet closer to her body.
Splash Page: Behind an audience of kids, Angela joins in the applaud for Donald’s performance. Kneeling behind the cardboard theater, he accepts their appreciation by showing off a toothy grin, as he displays a handwritten sign reading: The End.
Caption: After all, today is just another day.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top