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So... How'd Your Day Go? (2 Viewers)

TuesdayEve

Friends of WF
Oh chicken ham, those three toed, porky feathered critters or the winged snout sorting, mud loving creatures?

It’s been quite the week. Sat I fell, Sun did well, not sore, Monday 2 doctors appts, Tuesday I found out I earned a personal day but had to use in the next 10 days or lose it. So Thursday, today, was the only viable day. Wed I brought my car in for a scheduled check up(engine light) and on the 5 minute ride from work to the mechanic, a new sound was heard coming from the the front. Slowing with reduced speed and changing to a higher pitch with acceleration. Ugh!
The front caliper locked. New brakes, calipers, lines needed and no driving. And.... the brake lines would not be available until the next day, ugh!
Leaving the car at the shop, my mechanic gave me a ride back to work. I finagled a ride home that evening with a co-worker. Luckily, I had my personal day the next day but I needed a ride back to the shop Thursday afternoon to retrieve my car. And I had to have my car because Thursday nite, I had my annual mandatory state of Illinois refresher class to maintain my school bus permit.

Needed a ride; my first Uber.
Micheal, my driver was friendly and talkative once he gets going.
He worked for City of Chicago in the finance dept for 30 yrs and he retired at 55. Everything was paid, his house, his cars, his kids were grown and his wife was still working as Dir of Nursing at a hospital and life was good. Except, with retirement came the ‘Honey Do’ list.
She wanted him to cook, pick up the cleaning, go to the store and draw her bath....I said “Oh, she’s keeping you busy, with all the new time on your hands, she's doing you a favor” He laughed, and said “ She used to cook and clean and take care of me...she used to be a good wife” We both laughed.
 
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indianroads

Staff member
Board Moderator
Thanks, that does seem to be the drift of the strategies I can find (and the only thing that worked on long-time bullies in school, too) is to keep my own equanimity and just let the other person act out. If it was only anger I kinda have that one figured out. Some of the other tactics are less obvious and have very deep roots and automatic brain pathways that cause knee-jerk reacting...usually a reaction of angry compliance. Sounds stupid but only because it is.
If you can - in the middle of her rant, get up and go outside to take a walk.
Her crazy is hers, don't take it on yourself - let go of your urge to people please because you're just rewarding bad behavior and encouraging a repeat performance.
 

Jan

Senior Member
It took me six months but finally my draft is done! Now I have a few weeks ahead of me relentlessly reading, rewriting and checking grammar and sentence structure before it finally ends up somewhere. (Amazon or Smashwords)

I am not a person who easily gets excited, but when I wrote the final sentence I was so happy. I have another project lined up, but I wont work on that one yet.
 

Olly Buckle

Mentor
Patron
The missus has some annual leave and finally decided on going to Wales with her sister and brother in law for a few days. She was most reluctant to leave me with an arm still in a sling half the time, but got in all the provisions and everything. I have money and a card, what could go wrong? My car insurance came due and ate the money in the bank leaving me with a small overdraft, that's what went wrong. Luckily the local bus stops at the end of our road so 11am I was there and waiting and took it into Battle to pay some money in. It is kind of nice living in the country, there was me and seven ladies on the bus, the youngest was probably in her mid sixties, all the others were older than me. They all knew each other and the driver, and he knew them all by name. On the return journey we went up some improbable back streets and dead ends so that he could drop them off at their door one after another, jumping out and running round to take their bags to carry them to the front door
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
My car insurance came due and ate the money in the bank leaving me with a small overdraft, that's what went wrong.
Ouch! I hate when that sort of thing happens. Love the little story about your bus ride with the ladies and the considerate driver, though. For a few minutes I was transported there with you.
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
If you can - in the middle of her rant, get up and go outside to take a walk.
Her crazy is hers, don't take it on yourself - let go of your urge to people please because you're just rewarding bad behavior and encouraging a repeat performance.
I appreciate that and it's exactly the sort of thing I'm working on. My problem is that in the moment no other circuits work other than 'obedience' and 'something isn't right' but my cognitive thought process (as right now when I'm typing this and can think of other options) just isn't working at all in that moment.

Posting this for anyone who faces similar struggles, I've read the Boundaries book by Dr. Henry Cloud and I like his boundaries.me podcast. Anyway, in listening to that I've realized how great I am at isolating myself...and how that usually leaves me with no connections other than the people in my life who don't really see me. Believe it or not, Indianroads and other friends who have taken time to know me a bit on WF, you know a whole different me than my family knows. Because they don't really care to know me. It's true, you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends!
 
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indianroads

Staff member
Board Moderator
You're in my thoughts.
I do have one other suggestion - which is something that might work for a writer like you. Study her, as you would someone you are considering for a role in one of your stories or books. Maybe... perhaps that will establish enough cognitive distance that you can sit back and just observe her words and actions with less effect on you.

I went through a ton of sh!t, especially in my early life. I was disposable to those that should have cared for me the most. I was a throw-away person (my term), but managed to survive by looking inward for my own value rather than outward.
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
You're in my thoughts.
I do have one other suggestion - which is something that might work for a writer like you. Study her, as you would someone you are considering for a role in one of your stories or books. Maybe... perhaps that will establish enough cognitive distance that you can sit back and just observe her words and actions with less effect on you.

I went through a ton of sh!t, especially in my early life. I was disposable to those that should have cared for me the most. I was a throw-away person (my term), but managed to survive by looking inward for my own value rather than outward.
REALLY good suggestion. I have never tried that but I just might.

It's too bad that they missed out on knowing you. I don't underestimate the struggle that you must have had.
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
One of those things where you finally sit down and do it. And it is damn good. A return to roots and places I have not been in a while...and Rue Dog is sulking because I need to feed him. We are both currently sitting under my writing table...no quite sure why.FB_IMG_1621047705618.jpg
 
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Olly Buckle

Mentor
Patron
The weather has changed, warmer, but raining a lot, so I have been getting out there every time the rain stops and planting out all the little plants I germinated in the greenhouse, then they get rained on and settled in, perfect.

Having a deep think about my new YouTube channel. The 'writing as craft' essay simply didn't work just read out and thinking about it and improvising made it very slow and lugubrious. I will see if I can find some other bits that do work when they are just read to keep it going in the meantime. Upward and onward :)
 

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