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So... How'd Your Day Go? (5 Viewers)

Foxee

Patron
Patron
Is that Dean Koontz book yours (writing popular fiction)? That goes for 300 dollars. I remember selling mine for 80 when I had it. I thought the advice was basic at the time. It's hyped by collectors I am convinced by own my experience.
Yes, it is. I bought it from...can't remember if it was Alibris, maybe? A little while ago now. I agree about it being somewhat basic but sometimes that's what I need. The book that's beside it, Story (McKee) is much more in-depth.
 

TuesdayEve

Friends of WF
It’s too early to tell, I’m awake but not up yet. Enjoying the quiet and pain free.
Yesterday though, was a banner day! Began and finished some overdue chores early, completed a poem I’d been working on for a week thinking it needed to be submitted today.....it’s next Monday, and... was delighted, grateful and surprised I wasn’t sore, as I had fallen on my right side the day before. Yup, fell like a ton of pavers. Nothing broken. A couple hours afterwards, I did a light workout as to not tighten up, I think that helped... and 600 mgs of Ibuprofen. Yea, so waking up yesterday was a nice surprise like today, but then, I haven’t tried to stand up yet either, here goes....
 

indianroads

Staff member
Board Moderator
Just finished with edit #6 of Redemption, and wanted to go for a ride on my motorcycle... but then I looked outside... damn it, it's snowing.
 

Olly Buckle

Mentor
Patron
It’s too early to tell, I’m awake but not up yet. Enjoying the quiet and pain free.
Yesterday though, was a banner day! Began and finished some overdue chores early, completed a poem I’d been working on for a week thinking it needed to be submitted today.....it’s next Monday, and... was delighted, grateful and surprised I wasn’t sore, as I had fallen on my right side the day before. Yup, fell like a ton of pavers. Nothing broken. A couple hours afterwards, I did a light workout as to not tighten up, I think that helped... and 600 mgs of Ibuprofen. Yea, so waking up yesterday was a nice surprise like today, but then, I haven’t tried to stand up yet either, here goes....
Maybe because you fell hard, it was putting my hand out to save myself dislocated my arm, and like someone said it is a classic way yo break a wrist. I have an appointment with the physio today to see about having the sling off. YAY !!
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
We got the outside plants (perennials and a couple annual pots) done today. A new azalea, lots of flox, regular and creeping, and some I forget the names of stuck in the side and back beds. I also got all of my solar light yard art and my metal pelican out. I missed my flamingos.
 
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Foxee

Patron
Patron
The weekend knocked me out of writing again (I need to come up with some sort of strategy for that) and I'm finally on Tuesday getting back to forcing myself into writing a few random bits. Yesterday was recovery from being with my narcissistic mother, digging into resources for how to handle relationships with narcissistic people.

The menu for this evening. Salmon, roasted asparagus, cauliflower au gratin, and possibly these macaroon brownies that I found a recipe for.

A friend gave me duck eggs over the weekend. Anyone familiar with using these and any favorite recipes?
 

indianroads

Staff member
Board Moderator
The weekend knocked me out of writing again (I need to come up with some sort of strategy for that) and I'm finally on Tuesday getting back to forcing myself into writing a few random bits. Yesterday was recovery from being with my narcissistic mother, digging into resources for how to handle relationships with narcissistic people.

The menu for this evening. Salmon, roasted asparagus, cauliflower au gratin, and possibly these macaroon brownies that I found a recipe for.

A friend gave me duck eggs over the weekend. Anyone familiar with using these and any favorite recipes?
Sorry to hear about your mother - that can be tough. Hang on, you'll figure it out.

Back in the 80's I was working horrendous hours designing PC's and workstations for Olivetti. I had a horrible boss that screamed at everyone and put us all under tremendous pressure. Although he's not like your narcissistic mother, I learned to compartmentalize with him and not really care about his ranting and raving. If he made unreasonable demands, I'd just say no. He would go ballistic, and I'd just lean back and watch - his crazy upset was in HIM, not me. I guess what I'm saying is that difficult people are easier to deal with you you stop caring about their drama.
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
Sorry to hear about your mother - that can be tough. Hang on, you'll figure it out.

Back in the 80's I was working horrendous hours designing PC's and workstations for Olivetti. I had a horrible boss that screamed at everyone and put us all under tremendous pressure. Although he's not like your narcissistic mother, I learned to compartmentalize with him and not really care about his ranting and raving. If he made unreasonable demands, I'd just say no. He would go ballistic, and I'd just lean back and watch - his crazy upset was in HIM, not me. I guess what I'm saying is that difficult people are easier to deal with you you stop caring about their drama.
Thanks, that does seem to be the drift of the strategies I can find (and the only thing that worked on long-time bullies in school, too) is to keep my own equanimity and just let the other person act out. If it was only anger I kinda have that one figured out. Some of the other tactics are less obvious and have very deep roots and automatic brain pathways that cause knee-jerk reacting...usually a reaction of angry compliance. Sounds stupid but only because it is.
 

SueC

Staff member
Senior Mentor
Thanks, that does seem to be the drift of the strategies I can find (and the only thing that worked on long-time bullies in school, too) is to keep my own equanimity and just let the other person act out. If it was only anger I kinda have that one figured out. Some of the other tactics are less obvious and have very deep roots and automatic brain pathways that cause knee-jerk reacting...usually a reaction of angry compliance. Sounds stupid but only because it is.
Something that helped me, although won't work for everyone, is figuring out the why behind another's behavior. For example, when I was little I can remember nights when everyone else had left the dinner table, but there I sat with the dreaded broccoli still on my plate. My dad insisted I had to eat everything before I could leave the table and I hated him for that rule.

When I was older I discovered that he grew up poor; poorer than most people can imagine. They lived in rural Oklahoma outside of McAlister. A story he told was that one day he caught and killed a pole cat on his way to school and was going to take it home for his mom to cook. They sent him home early because of the smell. Yeah. So then I understood the why behind that rule. I have never known not having enough to eat, but that was my dad's childhood. I heard some stories as I grew up that told me more about my dad and explained a lot, even why I had to eat the broccoli and then be glad for it.

My mother, like your mother, was handful and even though I have used the same technique to understand her idiosyncrasies, it hasn't worked as well. But don't give up, Ginny; there's always a reason, and knowing it sometimes helps.
 

Gumby

Staff member
Co-Owner
Ginny, your mom sounds a lot like my mom was. I had to learn to distance myself from her, emotionally. That was very hard for me to do. But it was the only way I could function as my own person and deal with her controlling nature. Like Sue, I tried to understand what had made her this way, but I still don't really know. Stepping back and seeing loved ones through clear eyes is nigh on impossible to do without anger and resentment clouding your vision. I can't say I've mastered that trick.
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
Ginny, your mom sounds a lot like my mom was. I had to learn to distance myself from her, emotionally. That was very hard for me to do. But it was the only way I could function as my own person and deal with her controlling nature. Like Sue, I tried to understand what had made her this way, but I still don't really know. Stepping back and seeing loved ones through clear eyes is nigh on impossible to do without anger and resentment clouding your vision. I can't say I've mastered that trick.
I know the why of it, unfortunately it's done generationally in my family so it's the eldest daughter of each generation who's raised to be as close to an obedient automaton as possible. Understanding has done a lot for me to know how to approach this. Unfortunately, it takes more work to overcome the automatic brain wiring.

For instance, since my mom's recent remarriage she will, very pertly and prettily, order me to do something that I was just about to do. The first time it was to hug her new husband. The second time it was to get my husband a piece of pie on Mother's Day. To anyone outside of our relationship it wouldn't mean a lot. For me and for her it means that she is using me as an extension of herself to look good in front of people.

This is just one favorite trick of hers but repeated twice in the last week and, frustratingly, I stood mute each time, disbelieving, and then said something that didn't matter to anyone as I did as I was told because it would look like an insult to the other person if I didn't.

Doesn't sound like much, I know, but power games don't feel good even if they don't look bad.

Also: Congrats, Indianroads! She must be a pretty amazing woman. :)
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
42nd wedding anniversary today.
View attachment 26885


Congratulations.

You've been married longer than I've been alive. 🥳

On a side note I did something I almost never do...I had to edit a posted piece because I had an incorrect term. I used asteroid instead of meteor...If I hadn't happened across it used in context while reading a book on earth's geological history, I would have missed it entirely. I miss words or misspell them; it is extremely rare for me to use the wrong word because when in doubt I always look things up. Kinda peeved with myself for missing something so obvious. 🙀
 

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