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Sideboard (1 Viewer)

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Sideboard Revision One


I am thinking of-
@@@@the night you decide to build
a sideboard. Amongst the MDF in
eggshell, pen behind your ear, three
hours matching screws to holes,
translating diagrams and dimensions
into functional furniture. The look
on your face, when I Google medium-density
fibreboard and read out the definition.

I am thinking of-
@@@@how to tell you I want children.
For years I’ve said this isn’t the case.
I know we’ve not accounted for
the space they’d take up, they
wouldn’t match the aesthetic. You
said the other day, all you want is a
house of your own, somewhere
in the country.

I am thinking of-
@@@@the first time, you read one of
my poems, your eyes scrunched
because my handwriting was so small,
you didn’t want to give any sense of
what you where thinking.The sound
of your voice, when you told me you liked it, but
didn’t know much about poetry.

I am thinking-
@@@@are we enough? After all
we’ve made it ten years, we have
the cat, perhaps I’m going through
a phase? I don’t want to force your hand.
Maybe you’ll change your mind. We
still have time, there’s still time.

I am thinking if-
@@@@I should let you read this poem?
Is that a cop out? What would happen
if you did read it? Would you change your mind?
Or would you, scrunch your eyes, give nothing away
and tell me, that you don’t know much about poetry,
but you don’t like what this poem is suggesting.








Sideboard



I am thinking of-
@@@@that night you decide to build
a sideboard. Amongst the MDF in
eggshell, pen behind your ear, three
hours spent matching screws to holes,
translating diagrams and dimensions
into functional furniture. That look
on your face, when I Google medium-density
fibreboard and proceed to read out
the definition.

I am thinking of-
@@@@how to tell you I want children.
For years I’ve said this isn’t the case.
I know we’ve not accounted for
the space they’d take up, not to mention
they wouldn’t match the aesthetic. You
said the other day, all you want is a
house of your own, somewhere
in the country.

I am thinking of-
@@@@the first time, you read one of
my poems, how your eyes scrunched
because my handwriting was so small,
because you didn’t want to give any
sense of what you where thinking.
The sound of your voice, when
you told me you liked it, but
didn’t know much about poetry.

I am thinking-
@@@@are we enough? After all
we’ve made it ten years, we have
the cat, perhaps I’m just going through
a phase? I know I don’t want to
force your hand. Maybe you’ll change
your mind. We still have time, there’s
still time.

I am thinking if-
​@@@@I should let you read this poem?
Or is that a cop out? What would happen
if I did let you read this poem? Would
it change your mind? Or would you,
scrunch your eyes, to give nothing away
and tell me, that while you don’t know
much about poetry, you don’t like this
poem.
 
Last edited:

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Sideboard


I am thinking of-
@@@@that night you decide to build
a sideboard. Amongst the MDF in
eggshell, pen behind your ear, three
hours spent matching screws to holes,
translating diagrams and dimensions
into functional furniture. That look
on your face, when I Google medium-density
fibreboard and proceed to read out
the definition.

I am thinking of-
@@@@how to tell you I want children.
For years I’ve said this isn’t the case.
I know we’ve not accounted for
the space they’d take up, not to mention
they wouldn’t match the aesthetic. You
said the other day, all you want is a
house of your own, somewhere
in the country.

I am thinking of-
@@@@the first time, you read one of
my poems, how your eyes scrunched
because my handwriting was so small,
because you didn’t want to give any
sense of what you where thinking.
The sound of your voice, when
you told me you liked it, but
didn’t know much about poetry.

I am thinking-
@@@@are we enough? After all
we’ve made it ten years, we have
the cat, perhaps I’m just going through
a phase? I know I don’t want to
force your hand. Maybe you’ll change
your mind. We still have time, there’s
still time.

I am thinking if-
​@@@@I should let you read this poem?
Or is that a cop out? What would happen
if I did let you read this poem? Would
it change your mind? Or would you,
scrunch your eyes, to give nothing away
and tell me, that while you don’t know
much about poetry, you don’t like this
poem.

Such a touching piece. Didn't feel it as a poem, it felt like all happening with me. What an observation of relations... Bravo!!!.


Just loved it.

Ritu
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Sideboard


I am thinking of-
@@@@that night you decide to build
a sideboard. Amongst the MDF in
eggshell, pen behind your ear, three
hours spent matching screws to holes,
translating diagrams and dimensions
into functional furniture. That look
on your face, when I Google medium-density
fibreboard and proceed to read out
the definition.

I am thinking of-
@@@@how to tell you I want children.
For years I’ve said this isn’t the case.
I know we’ve not accounted for
the space they’d take up, not to mention
they wouldn’t match the aesthetic. You
said the other day, all you want is a
house of your own, somewhere
in the country.

I am thinking of-
@@@@the first time, you read one of
my poems, how your eyes scrunched
because my handwriting was so small,
because you didn’t want to give any
sense of what you where thinking.
The sound of your voice, when
you told me you liked it, but
didn’t know much about poetry.

I am thinking-
@@@@are we enough? After all
we’ve made it ten years, we have
the cat, perhaps I’m just going through
a phase? I know I don’t want to
force your hand. Maybe you’ll change
your mind. We still have time, there’s
still time.

I am thinking if-
​@@@@I should let you read this poem?
Or is that a cop out? What would happen
if I did let you read this poem? Would
it change your mind? Or would you,
scrunch your eyes, to give nothing away
and tell me, that while you don’t know
much about poetry, you don’t like this
poem.


This is such a fabulous poem, in every way... from mood to message, from imagery to emotion--- this poem is fabulous...

It could have almost been prose, but your poetic skill kept it between the lines...
and speaking of lines, love that each stanza started with a repeating line and your use of alliteration in the first stanza was subtle and well done....very interesting line breaks skillfully used to pace your reader.


I love the intimate vibe and the imagery.... thank you for a cool read.. ;)
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
This is such a fabulous poem, in every way... from mood to message, from imagery to emotion--- this poem is fabulous...

It could have almost been prose, but your poetic skill kept it between the lines...
and speaking of lines, love that each stanza started with a repeating line and your use of alliteration in the first stanza was subtle and well done....very interesting line breaks skillfully used to pace your reader.


I love the intimate vibe and the imagery.... thank you for a cool read.. ;)


Hello,

Thank you so much for the feedback, I’m so pleased you enjoyed this piece. It was one of those that you’re thinking, “should I post this?” So your reaction makes me glad I did.

I’m working on a revision to sure up a few bits and your feedback has encouraged me to do so.

Cheers

Syd
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Well, I am thrilled you took a chance on this gem.... I read thousands of poems and I mentor poets in many, many places.... from England to South Africa, and this poem is not only unique, but unforgettable... so as a poetry lover, this one shines....and made my day ;)
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Sideboard


I am thinking of-
@@@@that night you decide to build
a sideboard. Amongst the MDF in
eggshell, pen behind your ear, three
hours spent matching screws to holes,
translating diagrams and dimensions
into functional furniture. That look
on your face, when I Google medium-density
fibreboard and proceed to read out
the definition.

I am thinking of-
@@@@how to tell you I want children.
For years I’ve said this isn’t the case.
I know we’ve not accounted for
the space they’d take up, not to mention
they wouldn’t match the aesthetic. You
said the other day, all you want is a
house of your own, somewhere
in the country.

I am thinking of-
@@@@the first time, you read one of
my poems, how your eyes scrunched
because my handwriting was so small,
because you didn’t want to give any
sense of what you where thinking.
The sound of your voice, when
you told me you liked it, but
didn’t know much about poetry.

I am thinking-
@@@@are we enough? After all
we’ve made it ten years, we have
the cat, perhaps I’m just going through
a phase? I know I don’t want to
force your hand. Maybe you’ll change
your mind. We still have time, there’s
still time.

I am thinking if-
​@@@@I should let you read this poem?
Or is that a cop out? What would happen
if I did let you read this poem? Would
it change your mind? Or would you,
scrunch your eyes, to give nothing away
and tell me, that while you don’t know
much about poetry, you don’t like this
poem.

I love this , beautifully written Syd [emoji108][emoji122]
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
Is it okay to ask you how it went? Did you get to have this talk? I don’t know, I’m new here, but it seems crazy to not ask you how it went. But I guess I’m crazy to ask around here?

The poem... it kept me reading it, wanting to find out all that you had to say because of the obvious tension/conflict. Tension does totally keep you at the edge of your seat and in literature or film or whatever art, tension doesn’t have to be a bomb planted or a battle. As I can easily experience from my reaction to your poem it can be something small like telling your partner what you really hope for. or like them not enjoying something that is so important to you. From the musician Leonard Cohen “You don’t really care for music do ya?” I learn from that. Thanks and also good luck!
 

dannyboy

Friends of WF
could all lines simply be
I am thinking - ? - truthfully I'd love to call it Heidegger is thinking - I know that changes everything but I can't help but think this poem is actually about (among other things) The Nature of Language.


Oh and excellent piece, though I'd like to change the title to avante-guard sideboard or
a sideboard's composition,

something that hints that this piece is delving into communication through poetry/ the poet using that communication to offer a new suggestion or idea?

Just random thoughts, the poem led me into all sorts of wild and wonderful places as all good poetry does, so thanks for that,

Danny
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Is it okay to ask you how it went? Did you get to have this talk? I don’t know, I’m new here, but it seems crazy to not ask you how it went. But I guess I’m crazy to ask around here?

The poem... it kept me reading it, wanting to find out all that you had to say because of the obvious tension/conflict. Tension does totally keep you at the edge of your seat and in literature or film or whatever art, tension doesn’t have to be a bomb planted or a battle. As I can easily experience from my reaction to your poem it can be something small like telling your partner what you really hope for. or like them not enjoying something that is so important to you. From the musician Leonard Cohen “You don’t really care for music do ya?” I learn from that. Thanks and also good luck!

Hello,

Thank you so much for taking time to read and for your comments, I totally agree with you in terms of tension. I’m more interested in the everyday and the little things and just because something is mundane doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve to be articulated in poetry or some other medium. That’s not to say I don’t like reading stuff about big political issues or global conflicts, I just think it all has equal merit and is all worthy.

I can tell you that the cat really enjoyed the piece, he loves it when I mention him in my poems.

Cheers

could all lines simply be
I am thinking - ? - truthfully I'd love to call it Heidegger is thinking - I know that changes everything but I can't help but think this poem is actually about (among other things) The Nature of Language.


Oh and excellent piece, though I'd like to change the title to avante-guard sideboard or
a sideboard's composition,

something that hints that this piece is delving into communication through poetry/ the poet using that communication to offer a new suggestion or idea?

Just random thoughts, the poem led me into all sorts of wild and wonderful places as all good poetry does, so thanks for that,

Danny

Hello,

again thank you so much for taking the time to read and for your comments, I see what you’re getting at re the start of each stanza, I think that could work. On the title, I actually only ever started writing this to write about the sideboard itself, but I couldn’t think of anything to write about it past the first stanza. So it kind of spiralled, I like that you’ve been able to read more into it than the obvious, perhaps to the poet his/her children are the poems?

Cheers

Syd
 
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