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Short series first script (1 Viewer)

Feed The Ravens

Senior Member
I was writing a book a while ago, some of which I shared on these forums. But that book was originally going to be used as a graphic novel in movie form (kind of like when you watch PBS kids shows and they read books).

The thing is, I had a lack of resources/people. So I resorted to the book idea, which was not so good. Despite my best efforts, experimental writing style, and a lot of work, it was just OKAY. Not good, not bad, just okay. I realised that the story and style was meant for what I talked about only (the technical term is cinematic literature).

So now I am setting out to do what most cinematic lit creators are doing, distributing over the internet. Anyway, here's the first (maybe second) episode in the series. Please note I don't have much experience writing scripts. If I decide to put in a first episode, it will probably be an nscripted recording of a phone conversation, which i should probably not devulge the details of.

a young woman in a modest, yet expensive looking suit is standing in front of a garden area. She seems relaxed despite thee fact that people keep running about (some in orange jumps suit, others in suits carrying sheathed katanas) in a frantic manner, shouting out things about “clean up” and “sealing the area.” The woman lets down her arm that's holding a microphone, and puts a cigaret into her mouth with other. Behind her a woman with a bloody, unsheathed katana begins to walk towards her. In beetween them a large group of men in MP uniforms run across the screen. The MPs have nightstick like batons at their sides and are carrying sub-machine guns (The batons have the word “Religion” engraved on them). As they run past the camera zooms past the woman with the microphone towards the woman with the sword, who was now stopped behind the large group of MPs. The woman with the sword is Jezebel. A MP from the line nearest to Jezebel tripps over her foot (the camera is focused on the act). Jezebel looks down to see the soldier saluting, toting a frightened smile. The camera goes back to a shot of Jezebel only.


Jezebel: Not in the mood, soldier! (she stabs her katana to the ground. The camera goes to a shot of the MP with his hands semi-in-the-air, a shocked look on his face, and the sword point down on the ground. The MP gives out a sigh of relief)


MP: Thank you... General Jezebel.


Jezebel: Never refer to my rank, or any hint of my military involvement in public!


MP: I am sorry... CEO Jezebel.


(The man begins to stand, the camera focuses on the bloody sword, slowly jerking/zooming out, meanwhile the katana is slowly turning until finally the camera stops with a shot of the blade in the direction of the soldier. Just as the MP stands up the katana swiftly strikes his leg. The camera moves to a shot of birds flying from the ground as the MP screams in pain. The MPs, except for the legless one on the ground, are out of the area now and the camera comes to a shot of the woman with the microphone and Jezebel with her katana sheathed.)


Reporter:(throws the cigaret to the ground) What was that all about?


Jezebel: Just helping you to explain the sword theft. (Jezebel now has some blood on her suit, but the is unaware)


Reporter: Thank you, you may want to get off camera now, you don't look very CEO like with all that blood, let alone lady like.


Jezebel:(looks down and pulls the bottom of her coat away from herself) Your right. Keep it neat. (she walks away.)

Camera Man:(off camera) Your on in 5 seconds.


Reporter: Today we saw a tragic example of what life can be without The Drug. The government finally tracked down the 8 people still alive who have not received the Drug. These people were born before The Drug was made, and so have been living terrible, distraught lives. Many of them where driven mad by voices, to which they shouted while they approached the facility. Eventually the fell to their knees, probably because of some pain they regularly endure. As I said before, there were 8 of them. At this point all of them where on the ground except for one, who has been identified as a member of the so called “Church of Friends” or “Quakers” as is their more militant term. This man kept trying to provoke the group into the ancient and intolerant ritual known as prayer. Eventually they all submitted and began crying out loudly. The things they said were not audible, and it put the people on the ground in pain to shout. Despite this the Quaker forced them to continue and began to fight with MPs that were there to keep the peace. At one point Jezebel came from the Liberation Place where the Drug administration was scheduled to take place, as well as liberations for all eight of those in question. At this point young came from the alley behind the Liberation Place and stole a Katana from one of the B.D. Corp workers. In the chaos Jezebel was still able to command her employees to take the eight in, and they did with the help of the MPs. No one died, however three MPs were severly injured, as well as other MPs and Jezebel who suffered minor injuries. As you can see the area is rather bloody, something that is being taken care of. It gives new meaning to the name “Blood Denial Corporation.”


The following events happen while the voice of the reporter says the previous. The time frame in which they happen depends on when the reporter says her version of the event, or it can go the other way around.


(The 7 mediators and one Quaker walk into the garden plaza in front of the Liberation Place. Some of them carry crosses, some are showing off copies of the real Bible. One man has a bullhorn. They slowly walk through the plaza, the man prays loudly on the horn (a mediator), meanwhile the rest shout things (such as “yes lord,” etc...). The whole time they walk towards the door they look about, admire the danger of the situation as there are MPs with batons at the ready. The man with the bullhorn quotes, “Yea though I walk through the valley of death” in a quiet, frightened voice. They see Jezebel standing at the door. They all began speaking in tongues and attempted to lay hands on her. The MPs rushed to immobilize and drag them into the Liberation Place. While this was happening a male youth(Disobedient One) also comes into the mad scrabble, unnoticed because of it. While the MPs struggle with some of the Mediators and the Quaker, Jezebel lets out a scream, and unsheaths her Katana and raises it into the air. At this everyone is forced to bow to her, including the Mediators, Quaker, and Disobedient. However, Disobedient is shaking violently and the Mediators and Quaker are still speaking in tongues.


Jezebel: When I offer liberation from the tyrany of your lord I expect you to leave him behind!


After that she decapitates the Mediators one by one, until she reaches the Quaker. She lifts her Katana, and as she swings it towards his neck a light and a scream emit from Disobedient. She falls back, then Disobedient jumps at her, completely knocking her down, and she drops her Katana. Everyone is now free to get up, and they do so slowly, meanwhile Disobedient (who is still screaming, obviously in some pain) takes the Quaker by the hand and runs with him towards the alley were he came from in the first place. On the way the encounter a B. D. Corp employee. When they do the employee swings his Katana at their arms (the ones which they are holding). Disobedient drops the Quaker and swings his leg to trip the employee. As the employee falls Disobedient grabs the Katana out of his hand. The employee runs away scared, the Quaker flees the scene, and Disobedient is left rolling on the floor in even more pain, and screaming even louder (but clutching the Katana).)


END SCENE


What I want to know is would you go out of your way to visit a website again and veiw the next episode. Anything else would be of great service as well.
 
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