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Short anecdotal travel article (2 Viewers)

C

Cosa_Nostra

Hi, wrote this after a recent trip to Italy. It's meant to be satiricle and not to be taken to seriously. Was hoping someone could have a read through it and give me some pointers. Thanks
Italian stallion may only be a donkey

I’ve just come back from Italy with some gossip but first let me set the scene a little. The problem that I have found with school trips is that it’s not so much who you go with and what you do when you are there, rather the accommodation you stay in and the food you are served. Now I’m not ashamed to admit that when I go on holiday I am used to the finer details. I enjoy good food, quality accommodation and polite service. Still, I’m not naïve enough to think this is what you get on a school trip. However, the place we were staying in was in fact that worst hotel in the world ever and completely washed the floor with my conception of a poor accommodation.

The place was swarming with waiters so incredibly rude they make German’s seem like angels. The food was so atrocious I spent most of my nights vomiting it back up and the room was painted in such a dirty brown colour I thought I was actually staying in the fingernails of a heavy chain smoker. Sadly as I travelled round north Italy this feeling of negativity started to grow ever stronger as place after place failed to meet my expectations.

This was more so in Verona, where, as William Shakespeare famously wrote, we lay our scene. My girlfriend had also put her name on the trip and had spent the two hour flight reminding me just how much she wanted to go and see Juliet’s house whilst we were in Verona. I kept telling her that with it being a completely fictional tale this would not be possible. However, as always, my arrogance got the better of me when we were told we had a few hours to look round Verona and Juliet’s house a recommended hot spot. Bugger.

So, ten minutes later I find myself stood on the top of Juliet’s balcony looking down at the courtyard below whilst at my side my girlfriend is looking rather pleased with herself. This all changed when I overheard a tour guide talking about the story of Romeo and Juliet. This is what she said. The story was not actually written by Shakespeare, rather a young Italian poet. Shakespeare got a copy of it and turned it into a play a few years after it was written. Obviously it then became very famous and tourism in Verona went through the roof and banged it’s head on Juliet’s balcony.

Except it didn’t as there was no Juliet’s house let alone a balcony in which this tourism could bang. This then led to a hunt in the Italian archives for a Juliet Capulet so they could find the house and balcony. Unsurprisingly this returned no names so they took the nearest name they could find, Capo, and used the Capo residence Juliet’s house. It then occurred to them that the house had no balcony, so, thirty years ago, they cemented a dirty great big one to the side of it. At this point they opened a small kiosk and charged innocent people such as myself €4 to have the privilege of standing upon the deceit and falseness of the situation. Buggers.

This really sums up my opinion of Italy. Sure, it is an absolutely stunning place. The buildings, the scenery, even the climate, are all so absorbing to a tourist yet somehow something doesn’t seem quite right. There is a bizarre sense of corruptness that runs through everything. Lies are the foundation on which some this beauty is built, which is heartbreaking because it really is truly breathtaking.

So sadly it seems that the Italian Stallion is in fact a donkey. What a shame.
 

Loulou

WF Veterans
Hey Cosa_nostra,

It's good to give your opinion in a travel piece but you really should describe the actual place a little more. The reader is not merely interested in your thoughts, they also want to know more about the smells, the sights, the sounds, the history, the people of a place. Your honesty is great but I wouldn't resort to stereotypes in a travel article - you'll annoy your readers.

The place was swarming with waiters so incredibly rude they make German’s seem like angels.

Saying this about the germans is very judgemental. A reader may not take the rest of what you say seriously if you resort to such generalisations. I do like your wit, the Italian Stallion being a donkey and the hunt for Juliet Capulet's house, but I still don't think you've fully shown why you didn't like Italy. Just because you went in one place that overcharged does not make Italy a place that's built on deceit.
 
C

Cosa_Nostra

Thanks Loulou
The piece is actually meant for a youth column that I write for in a regional newspaper. I have a strict word limit and have to make the article appeal to quite a wide audience. I hear what you are saying with regards to the stereotyping and the fact that I haven't described the place in great detail, something which I will try to work around next time.
Many thanks
 

mammamaia

Senior Member
sorry to ruin your pun, but 'the italian stallion' is a nickname recognized throughout the world as referring to sylvester stallone, going back to his first rocky days fame... and, since you seem to be referring to something else [what is never made clear], the title is very misleading... if you meant 'romeo' he was only a love-besotted teenager and never depicted as a 'stallion' that i know of]...
 

Hodge

pliable
Senior Member
You don't remember the scene where Romeo rides back to Verona shouting, "yo, Adrian!"?
 
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