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She. (1 Viewer)

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
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J.h
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

Reading between the lines, there is a femme fatale archetype that haunts a lot of your work, for me I read this as a writer who has been hurt by someone they love. This then presents itself in work where the danger comes from opening themselves up to love again. For me I would like this character to be less of an archetype and more a fully fleshed character. For me this character is a lionised fictitious version of the real thing. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, it allows the writer to create something universal in which the reader can relate to. But; I think you could create something in which the reader can both be moved by but also relate to, by straying beyond what feels like a stock character.

I hope this makes sense,

Thank you

Syd
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Thank you Syd, I understand what you mean yes. It was an in between poem. I am figuring out why I keep thinking of this character, I know partly why.
Thank you [emoji120]
 

Gumby

Staff member
Co-Owner
It does have a legend feel, which makes me wonder if it is really a physical 'she' or a concept.
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Hi , thank You, she is real , I spoke with someone just like her last night. But not someone that I know.
Who knows it could be something.
Thank You.
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Hi , thank You, she is real , I spoke with someone just like her last night. But not someone that I know.
Who knows it could be something.
Thank You.

Nice J. I can see, you couldn't wish her to be nothing less than a legend.

All the very good luck.

Ritu
 

Mickeyq

Member
"maybe she'll leave you with your tongue to talk of her legend" is a great finishing line. One way I would (personally) sign it off would be a similar way that you finished the first paragraph. The punchy, equal length sentences was a great way to introduce your character and I think is also a good way to sign off.

I find that framing a piece the way you started really drives home the feel of it.
 
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