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She and I (1 Viewer)

gokedik

Senior Member
We loved, in spite of our challenges.
Sometimes banging our cages, just to touch and be touched.
Hope was not available but Faith sufficed.
Faith being a timed-release hope, bigger and stronger.

She held my words and I, her eyes.
Death could not be avoided.
We all had our dates, premature for sure.
But in her eyes and when I spoke,

We loved
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Melancholy and beautiful! 3rd line--poingant and strong, through the rest of the verse---then those last 5 lines...Heartbreaking. This is topnotch poetry! Thank you for posting, It was a pleasure to read your work. Peace...Jul
 

gokedik

Senior Member
Melancholy and beautiful! 3rd line--poingant and strong, through the rest of the verse---then those last 5 lines...Heartbreaking. This is topnotch poetry! Thank you for posting, It was a pleasure to read your work. Peace...Jul
Wow, what a critique, thorough and complimentary, I don't know what to say...that really took my breath away. I want to bow to you, Thank you does not suffice. We all know that, as writers, we are a bit insecure and neurotic like Spacey said at the Oscars, I loved that. Your generous comments are Oh, so needed, nearly thirsting for them. You quenched that thirst, Thank you...MK.
 
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