Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

shame is a tree: (1 Viewer)

dannyboy

Friends of WF
Shame is a thirsty tree
roots within ribs
weaves branches around bones
places leaves between discs
feeds on words
until silence remains
turns hands into fists
furrows flesh, turns a face
into a mountain
with canyons for the secret tears.

Shame grows in the dark
poisonous when shared
murderous when left alone
I have scissors bought at a flea market
snip snip in the late afternoons
treat the tree as a bonsai
and shape it with will, it is smaller now
grows in places set aside
so the rest of me is free
to decide who I should be.
 
Last edited:

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Shame is a thirsty tree
roots within ribs
winds branches across bones
places leaves between discs
feeds on words
until silence remains
turns hands into fists
furrows flesh, turns a face
into a mountain
with canyons for the secret tears.

Shame grows in the dark
poisonous when shared
murderous when left alone
I have scissors bought at a flea market
snip snip in the late afternoons
treat the tree as a bonsai
and shape it with will, it is smaller now
grows in places set aside
so the rest of me is free
to decide who I should be.

Observation, sensitivity, imagination, this poem reflects these three altogether.


I have scissors bought at a flea market
Snip snip in the late afternoons
treat the tree as bonsai
and shape it with will
It is smaller now
grows in places set aside
so the rest of me is free
to decide who I should be

are my favorite lines.

Marvellous poem.

Thanks for sharing it here.

Ritu
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
Shame is a thirsty tree
So 100% true, I have felt this. A lot.
Shame grows in the dark
poisonous when shared
murderous when left alone
Again, right to the root of it.

Wonderful handling of the subject. I appreciate how well the problem was portrayed and how there was a resolution of dealing with it rather than just wallowing in how bad shame is.
 
Shame is a thirsty tree
roots within ribs
winds branches across bones
places leaves between discs
feeds on words
until silence remains
turns hands into fists
furrows flesh, turns a face
into a mountain
with canyons for the secret tears.

Shame grows in the dark
poisonous when shared
murderous when left alone
I have scissors bought at a flea market
snip snip in the late afternoons
treat the tree as a bonsai
and shape it with will, it is smaller now
grows in places set aside
so the rest of me is free
to decide who I should be.

This is so poignant. The imagery really does make one feel the weight of shame. The poem guides you through the bad feelings to the relief...love the image of trimming the bonsai tree. This is excellent. Thank you for sharing.
 

-xXx-

Financial Supporter
Shame is a thirsty tree
roots within ribs
winds branches across bones
places leaves between discs
feeds on words
until silence remains
turns hands into fists
furrows flesh, turns a face
into a mountain
with canyons for the secret tears.

<snip>

*thinking*

no current suggestion.
just those two words read awkwardly to me (in context).
the first stanza image(s) seem emergence/residual....
maybe twists?
forces/pushes?
forks?<---?

best,
:)

ps knots is worth contemplating....
 

-xXx-

Financial Supporter
weaves<->around
excellent coupling, imo.
works one all layers.
especially like the trellis interaction with snip snip.

poster worthy as an individual piece, sez one reader.
;)
 

Bansi

Senior Member
Shame grows in the dark
Poisonous when shared
Shape it with will, it is smaller now
Grows in a place set aside
So the rest if me is free
To decide who i should be

Loved this. Love how you portrayed being in that and dealing with it and growing (shows the willl of the character)
♥️
 
Top