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Shadows in the Light (Goodbye Grandma) (1 Viewer)

arkayye

Senior Member
My grandmother passed away this week, 1917-2011 (23/03)

`




I walk from room to room
trying to catch a glimpse of you,
and all that I could see,
are muted shadows playing tag.

Sunlight catches visions
of days now stored in memory
and with your recent passing,
you climbed upon the misty crag.

The kitchen tap still leaks,
we've fixed that oft and time again;
your trusty stove still works,
those smells and tastes still fresh in mind.

The bed is fresh and made,
your dresser's bottle-pageant gleams;
what looks to be amiss --
your faithful clock now needs a wind.

The chair is set in place
as if in wait for your arrival;
a lone book gathers dust
on a table by those French doors.

The phone stands in vigil
to receive voices from far away;
whose soles had once traversed
and kissed these polished parquet floors.






`
 

Gumby

Staff member
Co-Owner
Deepest sympathies arkayye. A wonderful tribute to your grandmother, you've captured that feeling we all have, as if we can almost see them there.
 

SilverMoon

WF Veterans
arkayye, like the others you have my condolences. You've managed to accomplish - and very well - paying tribute to your grandmother through your art. My 92 uncle was my best friend and passed away last year. Still, I have not been able to write a poem about him and my loss. You have my respect for being so strong.

You have used marvelous detail to bring me into your world e.g.

a lone book gathers dust
on a table by those French doors.

Please bring on more. You're very talented. Laurie
 

arkayye

Senior Member
arkayye, like the others you have my condolences. You've managed to accomplish - and very well - paying tribute to your grandmother through your art. My 92 uncle was my best friend and passed away last year. Still, I have not been able to write a poem about him and my loss. You have my respect for being so strong.

You have used marvelous detail to bring me into your world e.g.



Please bring on more. You're very talented. Laurie

Dear Laurie,
thanks for your kind words and sharing a solemn part of your life experience.
It has been a long rode. My Pop died about 20 years ago, my last living grandfather and I still haven't been able to write about or for him.
And through the writing journey over of that number of years I am as you have found able to write about my Nan. So it is something that
does come with time and experience. I thought I would never be able to express my grief in words, let alone through poetry. And I know
that you desire to write of and about your uncle. The will to do so is half the job done. I look forward to one day reading some if not all
your writing about him.
 

candid petunia

Retired Supervisor
My sincere condolence too. The poem is beautiful, and I can really connect with it.

My grandfather had passed away a few years ago, as well. And though I wasn't much of a writer then, I'd written a poem for him 3 years later - and that's when I really stopped crying. The hurt never goes away, but somehow, writing really soothes most of the ache


Laurie, even I'm looking forward to reading your writing for your uncle one day.
 

arkayye

Senior Member
My sincere condolence too. The poem is beautiful, and I can really connect with it.

My grandfather had passed away a few years ago, as well. And though I wasn't much of a writer then, I'd written a poem for him 3 years later - and that's when I really stopped crying. The hurt never goes away, but somehow, writing really soothes most of the ache


Laurie, even I'm looking forward to reading your writing for your uncle one day.

Thanks CP. You have given my a challenge to write about my grandfather and in the coming days, hopefully before the year is over I will be able to articulate something of him that means much to me and finally bring closure to my grieving heart. Thank you for the encouragement. I hope we shall be able to share in that poem you wrote for your granddad... or direct us to it if it is already posted herein. Cheers. Ricky
 

vangoghsear

WF Veteran
WF Veterans
Sorry for your loss, arkayye.

and all that I could see,
are muted shadows playing tag.
Nice image.

I want to offer some refinements, but consider them as suggestions, don't lose the heart and soul.

I walk from room to room
trying to catch a glimpse of you,
and all that I could see,
are muted shadows playing tag.

You could trim some words that break the flow like above. I don't think it takes away from the meaning.

Again, just suggestions; it's nice as is.
 

Martin

Senior Member
My condolences, Ricky. Like with the others, I connected as well with my lost loved ones through this. I haven't a single grandparent left, so practically your every verse had its relation to something known for me.

I think it's a lovely commemoration, and your voice and imagery are beautifully done. Only place it jarred for me was those smells and tastes still fresh in mind. Couldn't get that line to flow as nicely as all the others.

Thanks for sharing
 

arkayye

Senior Member
My condolences, Ricky. Like with the others, I connected as well with my lost loved ones through this. I haven't a single grandparent left, so practically your every verse had its relation to something known for me.

I think it's a lovely commemoration, and your voice and imagery are beautifully done. Only place it jarred for me was those smells and tastes still fresh in mind. Couldn't get that line to flow as nicely as all the others.

Thanks for sharing

Thanks Martin, your kind words and feedback is much appreciated.
 
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