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Seeking beta-reader for Moonchilde a Sci-fi/Horror novel 93k words (1 Viewer)

Lee Messer

Senior Member
  • TITLE: Moonchilde
  • GENRE: Mature Fiction, Hard Sci-fi
  • WORD COUNT: 93,000 words
  • BLURB:
  • What would happen if all things were true? If probability suggests that all things are possible, wouldn't that mean they were also true if you remove time from the equation? In this case, everything happens somewhere, at some time. Even the evilest of evils.
  • The book starts out as hard sci-fi about a bioengineered human-alien hybrid who gains the ability to redesign himself into whatever he chooses. This book has some extremely strong and developed female characters, while it is also designed to be inclusive in many other categories. The book also has some very dark chilling horror elements designed to scare people psychologically and keep them up at night.
    I don’t approach the actual subject of absolute demonic evil from a religious perspective, but from a hard sci-fi perspective. Other alien races are based from carbon or silicon in hard sci-fi, but these are explained as “extradimensional beings”. From there the approach is to reference any religion as far back as Pre-Sumerian Civilization and beyond. A demon is a demon regardless of religion the way the book tells it. It doesn’t matter what anyone believes in terms of religion, because the demon is before time.
  • The hard sci-fi covers a myriad of technologies: Quantum Computing (tethering), FTL and communications via string theory and tethering, Extra-dimensional mechanics and relativistic principles, Nanotechnology and programming control on a technical level, alloys and compositions, Properties of materials, Spatial warping via gravitons, Phasic induction on a Planck scale, more realism on plasma weaponry. I mean it's not like a textbook version of explanation, but it also covers life sciences from Cross Species Hybriding through Genetic Engineering, Biology, Biochemistry, Neurology, and and even Psychology across multiple alien species.
  • The book also plays upon a Quantum Perspective, where some of the characters can perceive probability via quantum implants, or communicate telepathically depending on how the logic centers of their brains work.
  • Plot bases it self around Earth being discovered by extraterrestrials and exploited for humanity's unique aggressive characteristics, while being fed on by extradimensional aliens for their inherent tendency to breed suffering as well.
  • SENSITIVE CONTENT: (references to rape, gore, demonic possession, reference to sacriledge, Inter-alien sexual references, extreme violence)
  • EXPECTATIONS: Simply send a x.doc file to the email I give you privately upon request, if the feedback is extensive. Otherwise just PM me what you find. A page number and first word of sentence would be a nice reference for individual issues.
  • TIMESCALE: Take your time. I value your thoughts. Keep in touch though, or I won't know if you stopped gave up or what.
  • AVAILABLE FORMATS: The manuscript will be sent upon request full via email. It will be a x.doc file (microsoft word)
  • OTHER INFORMATION: This is a crossover Hard Sci-fi/Horror novel. There is another in the series completed, but not proofread. This story has mature, and often graphic depictions of horror and action based violence. Be advised. I have experienced the reality of real violence and gore, and I felt it best to be realistic as no one does this anymore. I don't believe in sugar-coating it. It should be as abrasive as possible. The intention is to disturb and scare you. If it doesn't then I definitely want feedback on what would.
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Friends of WF
I'm interested in hard sci-fi and horror but i have a few reservations.

In what way is it hard sci-fi when there are supernatural (literally outside of the natural sciences) elements?

The blurb is a bit abstract. Who are the main characters, what kind of a journey do they go on (mentally and physically)?

I'm very limited for time, would you be OK sending just a few chapters?

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Just a friendly reminder:
This is a public forum, do not exchange personal information, like email-addresses, here. Do that via PM.
Thank you.


Senior Member
I didn't want to give the story away, as it states in the format not to do so

Having read the other messages in this thread, I just wanted to pop in here and clarify this real quick. The "READ THIS FIRST - BETA READER REQUESTS" post says not to include a synopsis or spoilers, but a blurb for potential beta readers should absolutely include the basic premise of your book. This, as opposed to a detailed breakdown of the events of your story, including the ending, and any twists or major reveals that happen.

(Not a Moderator)

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Another friendly admin warning:
Please, no discussion of the book. Also, no explanation of any kind on the forum itself. Remember, this is a public forum, everyone can read it.

For the OP: only include specific questions for the reader, what they should pay attention to.

All other correspondence and communication should be done by PM between requester and reader.
Thank you

Lee Messer

Senior Member
First Beta reader was helpful to say the least. Took me awhile to fix what the story needed. Still same story though, just more characterization basically. It's open to readers again.

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