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Seduced (1 Viewer)

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Your fingertips
skillfully sculpted desire
softly smoothed away
sharp edges of shyness
sensuous kisses erased resistance
exposing my submission

Your hands
contoured my curves to fit
your body
and let me see for the first time
my beauty reflected in
your eyes





 

EternalGreen

Senior Member
What an excellent poem. Thanks for sharing.

Line 9 tripped me a little bit. I'm not sure if it's supposed to say "my body" or if there's a hidden meaning.
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Your fingertips
skillfully sculpted desire
softly smoothed away
sharp edges of shyness
sensuous kisses erased resistance
exposing my submission

Your hands
contoured my curves to fit
your body
and let me see for the first time
my beauty reflected in
your eyes






What an excellent poem. Thanks for sharing.

Line 9 tripped me a little bit. I'm not sure if it's supposed to say "my body" or if there's a hidden meaning.

Hummmm... maybe the line break is causing some confusion...
Is this better:
"Your hands
contoured my curves to fit your body"

Thank you for your feedback, it is appreciated ;)
 

rcallaci

Staff member
Administrator
I remember this sensuous delight it was quite titillating then and more so now. This is visually stunning, two lovers reflected in each other, the shy lover realizing her beauty and allure through the eyes of her more confident lover. Each one melts into the other--

beautiful and luscious ..


warmest
bob
 

Gofa

Friends of WF
Ive returned the poem still a splinter in my wood box

contoured my curves
to fit his shape
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
I remember this sensuous delight it was quite titillating then and more so now. This is visually stunning, two lovers reflected in each other, the shy lover realizing her beauty and allure through the eyes of her more confident lover. Each one melts into the other--

beautiful and luscious ..


warmest
bob


Thank you, Maestro! I love that you understand every subtle nuance of this poem and your comment, I will treasure...

all my love and respect...
Grasshopper....
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
I take it there was a second date


LOL... What makes you think THIS was a first date......


Ive returned the poem still a splinter in my wood box

contoured my curves
to fit his shape

"His shape" is too vague, although the alliteration would be lovely....thank you for your deeelightful comments...;)

Thank you Dannyboy, I appreciate your kind words...
 
Last edited:

Gofa

Friends of WF
Too vague
i thought it particularly pointed :fat:

Leading someone feel good about themselves
is a true act of loving
 

Theglasshouse

WF Veterans
The reflection of the person in the other person's eyes is what made the interpretation of the theme work for me. It was an original take on seduction as a subject and theme. I enjoyed the poem and thanks for sharing.
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
The reflection of the person in the other person's eyes is what made the interpretation of the theme work for me. It was an original take on seduction as a subject and theme. I enjoyed the poem and thanks for sharing.

Thank you ;), I enjoyed reading your thoughts about this poem... understanding WHY you like a poem is vital to understanding HOW to write...
 

jenthepen

Staff member
Mentor
Your fingertips
skillfully sculpted desire
softly smoothed away
sharp edges of shyness
sensuous kisses erased resistance
exposing my submission

Your hands
contoured my curves to fit
your body
and let me see for the first time
my beauty reflected in
your eyes






The mental image of a sculptor crafting desire from shyness is a wonderfully creative and unique way to gently describe the art of seduction. The metaphor runs through the entire poem and ends perfectly with the sculptor's creation viewed as a reflection in his eyes.

Your editing of this poem is superb and the result is just brilliant. Loved it!
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
The mental image of a sculptor crafting desire from shyness is a wonderfully creative and unique way to gently describe the art of seduction. The metaphor runs through the entire poem and ends perfectly with the sculptor's creation viewed as a reflection in his eyes.

Your editing of this poem is superb and the result is just brilliant. Loved it!

YES! Yes... exactly what you so eloquently expressed ,,, the way you unfold a poem, and expose the secrets of the poem is fabulous... ... jen, your comments are treasured...love you bunches, thank you ;)
 
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