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Scar(ve)s (1 Viewer)

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Scar(ve)s Revision Two

For my Mother

For years, you hid your scar
the jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

When we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
back together. You looked like Frankenstein
we said, not realising this wasn’t

the monster’s name, you cried and
we could only mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for formal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for you to wear around your neck.




Scar(ve)s Revision One

For my Mother

For years, you hid your scar
the jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

When we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
back together. You looked like Frankenstein
we said, not realising this wasn’t

the monster’s name, you cried and
we could only mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for formal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.








Scar(ve)s

for my mother

For years, you hid your scar
that jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

The first time we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
together. You looked like Frankenstein,
we told you, not realising this wasn’t

the name of the monster, you cried and
we could do nothing but mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for causal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.
 
Last edited:

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
That's a very moving poem, Syd. I wouldn't want to change much there. I only have a few little things, to give it a bit extra rhythm. But that's all. It's beautiful.

The first time we saw you after surgery, <-- "When"
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
together. You looked like Frankenstein,
we told you, not realising this wasn’t <-- "said"

the name of the monster, you cried and <-- "the monster's name"
we could do nothing but mop the tears with our fingers. <-- "only"
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.
 

happy-hippie

Senior Member
Scar(ve)s Revision One

For my Mother

For years, you hid your scar
the jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

When we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
back together. You looked like Frankenstein
we said, not realising this wasn’t

the monster’s name, you cried and
we could only mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for formal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.






Scar(ve)s

for my mother

For years, you hid your scar
that jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

The first time we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
together. You looked like Frankenstein,
we told you, not realising this wasn’t

the name of the monster, you cried and
we could do nothing but mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for causal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.
Heartbreakingly beautiful...
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Scar(ve)s Revision One

For my Mother

For years, you hid your scar
the jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

When we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
back together. You looked like Frankenstein
we said, not realising this wasn’t

the monster’s name, you cried and
we could only mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for formal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.






Scar(ve)s

for my mother

For years, you hid your scar
that jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

The first time we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
together. You looked like Frankenstein,
we told you, not realising this wasn’t

the name of the monster, you cried and
we could do nothing but mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for causal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.

Thank you for sharing Syd, beautiful words [emoji120]
 

dannyboy

Friends of WF
nice edit that fixed up the flow issues. Good piece. Not sure I like the end line but I understand what its doing, just its doing my head in...can scars be tied? Will the new scarves be tied? - both these images that you're attempting to merge here just don't quite hit the mark for me.
Perhaps its unnecessary to repeat the scar(ve)s, instead imply there will be more scars and scarves - though I can't come up with a how to do that suggestion so maybe just ignore me altogether.
 

Annie. Marie

Senior Member
Almost brought tears to my eyes. Just observing the character development within her children is very moving.
I'm sure the scarped are helping more than then the character knows.
Amazing piece, no edits from me.

-Annie
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
nice edit that fixed up the flow issues. Good piece. Not sure I like the end line but I understand what its doing, just its doing my head in...can scars be tied? Will the new scarves be tied? - both these images that you're attempting to merge here just don't quite hit the mark for me.
Perhaps its unnecessary to repeat the scar(ve)s, instead imply there will be more scars and scarves - though I can't come up with a how to do that suggestion so maybe just ignore me altogether.


Thank you,

I definitely see what you mean in terms of the last line, I’ve changed it to wear as I think that still carries the original intent of the line. I think that given scar(ve)s is only used in the title it needs to be used at some stage in the body of the text, by removing it I think I would lose something from the piece. But that’s just my opinion.
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Almost brought tears to my eyes. Just observing the character development within her children is very moving.
I'm sure the scarped are helping more than then the character knows.
Amazing piece, no edits from me.

-Annie

Hello,

Thats very kind, thank you for taking the time to read. I’m glad you enjoyed the piece.

Cheers

Syd
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Scar(ve)s Revision Two

For my Mother

For years, you hid your scar
the jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

When we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
back together. You looked like Frankenstein
we said, not realising this wasn’t

the monster’s name, you cried and
we could only mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for formal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for you to wear around your neck.




Scar(ve)s Revision One

For my Mother

For years, you hid your scar
the jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

When we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
back together. You looked like Frankenstein
we said, not realising this wasn’t

the monster’s name, you cried and
we could only mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for formal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.








Scar(ve)s

for my mother

For years, you hid your scar
that jagged line from ear to ear
on which you can trace your collarbone.

The first time we saw you after surgery,
we asked to poke and prod the staples
holding the two flaps of neck, until

the sinews stitched themselves
together. You looked like Frankenstein,
we told you, not realising this wasn’t

the name of the monster, you cried and
we could do nothing but mop the tears with our fingers.
On the day you came home, we gave you scarves.

One for each day of the week, one for church
and one for causal occasions. Careful to be tender,
we wrapped one around your neck promising

to gift you another, each year until the scar
turned so faint you’d forget that it was there,
now the cancer has come back, there will be more

scar(ve)s for us to tie around your neck.

I didn't feel it to be a poem, I felt like this was happening in front of me. My aunt died of ovarian cancer. Till the last day, it was hope, that was alive till her last breath, if miracle could happen. My cousins, they were exactly doing above as you wrote, always trying to make her feel good about herself.

Really touched

Thanks

Ritu
 
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