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Sarah (1 Viewer)

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
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J.h
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Last edited:

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

I like that this piece has been separated into two voices, the narrator and the subject is a really clever way to set the scene and then explore the feelings of the subject.

For me I think this falls into the prose rather than poetry category. For me I think there are times when you could strip back the detail and make it more poetic. On occasion this slips into telling rather than showing and that limits the emotional impact.

Overall though, I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Cheers

Syd
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Hello,

I like that this piece has been separated into two voices, the narrator and the subject is a really clever way to set the scene and then explore the feelings of the subject.

For me I think this falls into the prose rather than poetry category. For me I think there are times when you could strip back the detail and make it more poetic. On occasion this slips into telling rather than showing and that limits the emotional impact.

Overall though, I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Cheers

Syd

Thank You very much.
I think I’m finding I enjoy prose more.
I seem to find writing short stories is easier.
But I have a plan. It is connected to another story of mine. And there’s secrets,
and more characters too, I’ve already written part of the end.
I would like to turn it all into a book if possible.

Thank You Syd.
 
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