Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Remains (1 Viewer)

stuub27

Senior Member
Remains

Happiness rolls down my cheeks
Droplets borne of pure elation
A scream commits me to wonder
At the universal light

There is a certain strength in darkness
Indeed, we cannot be without
Nightmares consolidate our dreams
Guiding us to our destiny

Past deceptive desperation
And unsustainable fears
To the edge of infinity
Beyond all hesitation

Stepping into curiosity
Our will subservient
In the face of imagination
And the mysteries of hope

My tears fall on hallowed ground
Saturating innocence
Through this divine alchemy
Life remains eternal

I just wanted to throw that out there. I don't do enough critiques to receive them, but I just hope someone might connect with some part of this :)
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Although the whole poem is appealing but second stanza is the most I connected to, as I exactly felt that, what you wrote there, as many times in my life ( for introspection).

Nice poem. Thanks for sharing it here.

Ritu
 

stuub27

Senior Member
Although the whole poem is appealing but second stanza is the most I connected to, as I exactly felt that, what you wrote there, as many times in my life ( for introspection).

Nice poem. Thanks for sharing it here.

Ritu
Thanks very much for the response. Appreciated
 

happy-hippie

Senior Member
Hey Stuub27

I like the progression I see in this piece. There are a couple of lines that really sing to me.
I like "Deceptive Desperation"- I suppose desperation is convincingly deceptive.
I also like "stepping into curiosity"...It's interesting to think about that moment when one steps away from darkness and hopelessness and takes that first step into curiosity about the things that lie beyond where one is feeling stuck and trapped.

I can relate to the second stanza as well. It really interesting how difficult situations can help to shape hopes and goals for the future.

Nice Write. Good to see you around and thank you for sharing.
 

stuub27

Senior Member
Hey Stuub27

I like the progression I see in this piece. There are a couple of lines that really sing to me.
I like "Deceptive Desperation"- I suppose desperation is convincingly deceptive.
I also like "stepping into curiosity"...It's interesting to think about that moment when one steps away from darkness and hopelessness and takes that first step into curiosity about the things that lie beyond where one is feeling stuck and trapped.

I can relate to the second stanza as well. It really interesting how difficult situations can help to shape hopes and goals for the future.

Nice Write. Good to see you around and thank you for sharing.
Thanks heaps for the feedback.

I've said it before, but I'll try and be more involved in the critiquing side of things, too.
 

snafu

Member
I am a lifelong drug/alcohol addict and your poem and many of the lines specifically gave me the same emotions I've experienced over the last 20 years. Utter dark deadly desperation with glimpses of light, meaning/understanding and hope in between and afterwards. If I were to guess you maybe have battled with addiction or maybe some rough codependent relationships.

Good poem, stranger friend.
 

stuub27

Senior Member
I am a lifelong drug/alcohol addict and your poem and many of the lines specifically gave me the same emotions I've experienced over the last 20 years. Utter dark deadly desperation with glimpses of light, meaning/understanding and hope in between and afterwards. If I were to guess you maybe have battled with addiction or maybe some rough codependent relationships.

Good poem, stranger friend.
Hi snafu,
Your guess would be correct about the addiction thing :)
Quite some time ago, and I hadn't made the conscious connection myself really, but of course the experiences have significantly shaped me.

Thanks for your response
 
Top