An Essay in comparison
We, two, different people, similar in application are different if you look close. Though we act almost the same the reasons therein are not.
We, In some things, are quite different:
You, your fractured sexuality, your tainted past love.
Me, my fractured mind, my tainted emotional state.
Two incidents of innocence lost, willingly, unwillingly, both wrong.
You held no illusion of Forever and I held illusions of Never.
You were right and wrong to be.
I was wrong but should have been right.
Mine was taken and yours was given.
Thus I couldn’t give and you couldn’t stop.
You now fear a physical taint,
Deathly afraid of death in your blood.
I, now ready
To give you everything,
You are more then good enough,
In your parent’s eyes.
I will never do enough to earn the approval of mine.
You strive for an acceptance you already have,
While I scorn one I shall never get.
What an odd oxymoron
We two compared become.
In career I know that I can do it,
But have no idea how.
You are well on your way
Yet doubt your ability.
I know what I want
And can not have it.
You could have almost anything
But don’t know that you’d like
How oddly it is
Well practiced You
Fear what you might give me
Without the relaxation of long experience
Seek with open arms
This physicality of love.
I who know love
And you who know sex
I greatly desire to face this world
Yet almost never have I
You wish not to face it
Yet have to constantly
I cannot let go of the past
And you cannot see the future
And in ways much the same:
We both want to make this world a better place
To set it on fire
And watch the rains make it new.
We both love words
Though your love is studied
Mine wild and indiscrete
I envy you, you envy me.
You seek in your sexuality to please
I seek this in mine too.
Both of us accept our personal need for pleasure
But put above our own need that of our lovers.
Which consequentially fuels our own.
What a lovely battle we will ever have
What perfect paradox create
When we come together.
Never to stop, only resting for a time
Before, in fire, our passions are joined
To again in war make-love.
Each equally giving in
And taking control
Neither victor, your or I
We both are good to everyone
In advice and care
Yet ever poor in both of these
Only to ourselves
We both hate to ask for help
To cry, or weakness show
Yet both of us, we long to have
Someone in whom to confide.
Someone we can lean on
When we find ourselves weak and drained
From our efforts to be strong.
Both of us, we fear to trust
Yet inspire it so easily
The two of us who would never betray
Fear betrayal endlessly.
We, who listen to the secrets of all,
To all a confidant
Fear constantly the revelation
Of secrets that are ours.
We feel guilt and shame easily
Yet show only strength and pride
Both of us are very proud
Fighting even when we know we’re wrong
To never be seen as so
We give far beyond our means
To our own detriment
Because it’s so hard to say ‘No’
When you only want to give.
Yet half of what we really want
Is just to be seen as nice.
We beat ourselves for weaknesses
Neither of us can help
And refuse to forgive ourselves
When we slip the tiniest bit.
Willing to go a thousand miles
For one we care about
Yet afraid to take a single step
For only ourselves.
Still others, different, yet the same:
You grew up feeling safe and loved
Repressed and never good-enough.
I, always in danger, unloved and alone
Grew to be without shame and see myself better then them.
Yet both of us gained strength, self expression
And a love for those around us.
You seek always to prove yourself to others,
I, to only myself,
Both seeking approval.
I seek a home of my own
Because I’ve never had one.
You seek the same because you know
How good a home can be.
All these things
Both good and bad
Both different and the same
Are why I choose to think
That you and I, perfectly flawed
Would fit perfectly Together
We could keep each other focused
We can make each other see
Past despair and pain, fear and hate
To how amazing things could be
You will teach me
Of all the things I lack
And I in turn will take the torch
And teach you right back
You’ll push me forward
And hold me up
And I’ll do the same for you
I can for once accept help
I’ll even ask for it
I can trust you,
Though it makes no sense
And I think you feel the same
If we look, this could be
Everything we’re looking for
Fulfillment to all we lack
And use for talents all.
Together if we let ourselves
We have the chance for what is rare:
So let's ignore how crazy this might come to be
Let us throw our much-loved caught
Away to the four winds
For though to an outside eye
We might look less then wise
Let’s give this the fighting chance
To be Our Lifelong-Romance.