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Regardless of what, it will surely be. (1 Viewer)

Jz2356

Member
The days have gone, the days have come,
Renewed what was and will continue to be,
Through stormy skies, and the breaking of sunrise,
Only then, will the eyes then see.
Despite the lingering days of shadow,
Our hearts then yearn to be free,
Through winter days where the heart relays,
Of how much you mean, to me…

May your heart continue to overflow,
With abundant love and joy,
May your heart be certain of what it desires,
Faithful, neither timid nor coy,
May your heart to continue to hope,
Despite the shroud over the heavens above,
May your heart continue to remain affectionate,
And it may continue to deeply, love.

The times are cold, the seasons have come,
A fitting prelude to the end.
But no matter how harsh the winter,
May my lips still call you, friend.
In these times where kindness is cold,
And the bitterness of winter brings strife,
May every word we speak and every promise told,
Remind us of who we have, in this life.

And although we may fight and bicker,
Though struggle may take us by surprise,
True love does not endure with a foundation,
And our treasure is where our heart then lies,
So though we may stumble,
Though we may quarrel,
May it not hinder our ability to perform,
True love is not found without strife or conflict,
It is built on a strong foundation, in the storm…

May Lord Jesus Christ have all the glory!
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
Functional and will appeal to a majority of readers, but from an writer's standpoint the content is pleasant, but generic, without a distinct voice.

Love poetry without a whole lot of interest beyond repeated preludes to put on a happy face. Folks know how time passes, how relationships function, and the repetition of it weighs the work down. If it were a unique take on the overused theme it might be more interesting, but the lack of a style or voice makes the piece decent, but one of a billion very similar. This is why voice and style are critical.

A redo of an Irish Blessing.

May the road rise up to meet you...etc.

Readers know the narrator wants to share their joy, which is great but this reads as a that's a nice thought. It is missing a catalyst to give it a spark.

Consider starting with an edit on the title.

Regardless, it will be...pit that against the challenges life doles out and make it a refrain or affirmation of faith in the relationship.

As this is not the work shop I will merely mention the comma splices. Those should be addressed because grammar, as annoying as it is, matters.
 
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