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Redone - Dirty Standards (1 Viewer)

Diego

Senior Member
“Ridgeview Elementary. The school I worked at for 16 years. The place where I sat in my beloved library and preached reading to pre-teens.”

We see pictures of the school, and her in the library.

“The place where I became friends with my co-workers”

Shows her talking to fellow staff-members.

“Oh, and the place I spoke my last words before I went missing.”

We see people standing around Rhonda’s empty desk. A tear runs down Nora’s face.

Nora: “Rhonda. Come back.”


“August 25th was the last day anyone ever saw me. The reasons for my disappearance were and are still unknown to most. I would hope my family’s dark secrets remain hidden.”

Opening Credits

‘Rhonda’s ‘Funeral’

The camera is zooming in on a beautiful outside funeral.

David: “We come here to honor the wonderful Rhonda Gordon, my wife, who is now missing. It’s been 4 months, and I suspect we will never be given the pleasure to see her again. The police are hard at work”

“Michael Yorks was a young attractive bachelor, who was always having trouble with his students. He was very humble for his looks. This was his 4th year teaching. Jessica McKay, his romantic interest, was enjoying her first year teaching at BayView. There was a big difference between her current job, and her last job as a preschool teacher.”

We now see Michael Yorks, and Jessica McKay sitting in the back row alone, ignoring the speech.

Jessica: “What are we going to do after this?”

She puts her hand on his back

Michael: “Hunny, it doesn’t matter now. This is very importa-”

Jessica cuts him of and kisses him on the lips. He’s trying to talk, but she keeps going.

Michael: “Stop it.”

He eventually just goes along with it, but after time an older woman from the row in front of them turns around and gives them a disgusting look. They both stop, and sit up in their seats.

‘Danielle’s Bedroom’

Danielle Dibrea was…an interesting person to say. She was always going off on her class. Mental disorders were always a thought. Her life had been scattered after a 2 year marriage came crashing down. Ever since then she has been... not exactly normal.

Alarm-clock starts beeping, and shows 12:21 am. Danielle rolls out of bed looking horrible,

Danielle: “Oh my god! The funeral!”

She runs over to the hamper and pulls out a skirt and a tank-top. The runs in the bathroom and rubs some cream on her face. As she walks back into the bedroom she looks at the beeping alarm clock.

Danielle: “Shut up!”

She runs downstairs gathers her purse and car keys then rushed to her car. She drives to the funeral recklessly.

‘Rhonda’s ‘Funeral’
I came into Nora Wintersmith’s life 10 years ago. It was my first librarian job, and she taught me well.”

Danielle arrives and sneaks in. She sits down next to Jessica. Just as she enters Rhonda’s co-librarian (Nora Wintersmith) takes the stage to talk.

Danielle: “What did I miss?”

Michael: “We weren’t paying attention. It mustn’t have been that exciting, that guy over their fell asleep”

They all become silent and listen to Nora as she speaks.

Nora: “Well first off, I want to thank David for letting me speak here today. It was such an honor to work with Rhonda for 10 years. She was really a wonderful person. It’s such a shame she went missing…I’m sure we all are feeling grief and sorrow. But we all have pain; we will make it through, and keep Rhonda in our hearts.”


Commercial


‘Reception Room’

Jessica walks up to David as he is talking to a group of people.

Jessica: “David can I talk to you?”

He nods and they walk-outside into the hallway alone.

Hallway’

Jessica: “I don’t know if you saw it but-”

David: “Yea. I saw you and Michael kissing.”

Jessica: “Oh, well, I just wanted to apologize, I really did care about Rhonda”

David: “Thanks. But I don’t blame you for not paying attention. I fell asleep at my own uncle’s funeral.”

They both laugh. She hugs him and they go back into the reception room.

‘Reception Room’

“Brian Ingram was a true perfectionist. His books were always straight.”

We see him straightening his books.

“His desk was always organized.”

We see him cleaning his desk.

“And his class was always quiet”

We see his quiet class working.

“But his past wasn’t so perfect. He grew up in the ghetto as a crack addict .But when he turned 20 he decided to change his life. He went to college, became a teacher, and left the person he was before. He likes to keep his past out of his faultless life.”

We see him, his wife, and two kids, all looking perfect.

Brian: “Hello Danielle. How are you?”

Danielle turns around to see him.

Danielle: “I’m umm…good. I guess. For now. Always going through ups and downs.”

“Danielle hated Brian and his perfect life”

We see Danielle drink a whole glass of wine as Brian walks away. She walks up to the bartender.

Danielle: “Give me another.”

Bartender: “Ma’am this is your 4th glass in 15 minutes.”

Danielle: “Nobody asked you. Now hurry up.”

‘Another Part of the Reception’

David walks up to Michael

David: “Hey Michael, how are things?”

Michael: “Things are okay. How are you holding up?”

David: “It’s hard, but we all move along.”

Michael: “Why did the police give up so early? It’s only been 4 months, and I know investigations can run for years.”

David: “The police told me her chances of still being alive were slim. I decided to face the facts that I would never see her again. It kills me inside, but we all have pain, but we have to suck it up.

Michael: “Oh... well it’s good to see your positive, and not too upset

David: “Yea.”

Shattering glass quiets the whole room. We see a broken glass vase on the floor, and two little kids standing their shocked. David begins yelling.

David: “Get out!”

Commercial

‘Ava’s Office’

Ava is sitting at a round table talking to a male and female student.

“Ava Burke, the school counselor, was always a person to help others, students and friends alike. There wasn’t much that could shock her after 5 years of counseling.”

Ava: “So, what’s the problem?”

Female Student: “Will you tell our parents?”

Ava: “Everything in here is confidential, unless someone is getting hurt. Is anyone getting hurt?”

Male Student: “No.”

Ava: “Then why don’t you go ahead and let it all out, I’m here to listen.”

Male: “Well, we’re going out, and we think we’re in love. We want to have sex.”

Ava gives a shocked look.

Female student: “What?”

Ava: “Well in my opinion, twelve is a little early to have sex. There are a lot of things you have to worry about; STD’s, pregnancy.”

Female: “We know, we need a condom, the pill, and a camera.”

Ava: “A camera? For what?”

“But, every once in a while,”

Male: “We have to tape it, Joey Radcliff and Taylor SanMarco did. It’s only good if anyone see’s it.”

“Something comes up.”

‘Michael’s Classroom’

Michael: “So how was everyone’s weekend?”

Everyone is silent

Michael: “Anyone? Can I get anyone to talk?”

Female Student 1: “No, we all decided we hate school. So we’re going to ignore you.”

Michael: “Oh…umm…. Ok. Well in that case we can do 31 pages out of the textbook, critical thinking, extended response and all that other fun stuff.
Male Student 1: “My weekend was great”

Michael: “Good to hear. Let’s get out our notes.”

There is a lot more, but I'm gonna wait to post more.
 

Kimba

Senior Member
I'm just going to repeat myself here

All narratives in a script should be written as such. I'd write the proper formatting here but it's not easy in posts. For example:

NARRATOR:
(VO)
BayView Elementary. The school I worked at for 16 years. The place where I sat in my beloved library and preached reading to pre-teens.

etc ...
 

Kimba

Senior Member
Sorry, I just find that content and format always goes hand in hand especially in scripts. I find it very distracting trying to read the content of a script when it's not in the proper format. Then again, that's just me. :)
 

Diego

Senior Member
More...

‘Hallway’

Jessica is leading her class in a line down the hall

Jessica: “Kelsey, Lauren, stop talking.”

Kelsey: “Sorry, Lauren had to ask me a question”

Jessica: “It’s a privilege that I’m taking you guys to the library to read, if you keep talking its over.”

‘Outside Library’

Jessica and her class approach but see Brian and some students at the closed library doors.


Jessica: “Brian, what’s going on?”

Brian: “Well, I was coming to pick some things from the library, and Nora’s locked everyone out.”

Jessica walks up to the door and starts banging.


Jessica: “Nora! Let us in!”

Nora: “No! I don’t have to.”

Jessica: “I’m going to call one of the janitors. They’ll have a key!”

Nora: “I don’t care!”

Brian: “The funerals probably just relit the flame. I think she’s still angry about Rhonda.”

Jessica: “I’d be angry if my best friend was suddenly missing, and probably dead. But this is a little overkill, don’t you think?”

Brian: “Let’s go back guys”

Brian and his students walk away, Jessica and her class follow.

‘Tina’s Classroom’

Tina: “It’s time for lunch! Pack up your stuff.”

Her class packs up their things, and then they leave the room for lunch, as does Tina.

‘Hallway’

Tina is walking to the teacher lunchroom.

“Tina Anderson has a fiery personality, and is always up to date on school gossip. We developed a friendship in the 9 years she’s been teaching”

‘Teacher Lunchroom’

We see Tina, Michael, and Nora eating lunch silently.

Nora: “It was him, he killed her.”

Michael: “What Nora?”

Nora: “It was David. He killed Rhonda, she never was missing.”

Tina: “Nora, I doubt that. You know he loved her.”

Michael: “I agree, I mean, I just can’t imagine that.”

Tina: “What evidence do you have?”

Nora: “I don’t”

Tina: “Well…”

Nora: “Whatever.”

Tina: “Did you hear that Paul Fredrick, the Athletic Director, is retiring?”

Nora get’s up and leaves. Michael gives Tina a questioning look.

Tina: “What?”

“But I learned, she brings up the wrong things, at the wrong time.”

Commercial
 
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