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Priorities (1 Viewer)

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

This is a stark and emotive piece that deals with a big subject manner in a measured way. There are some truly on point images, “like prisoners thirsty for a good woman,” in particular stands out as a bold and engaging manner.

What I don’t think works is that I feel at times you objectify the boy, by that I mean turn him in to nothing more than a symbol, a motif when I think you would do better to humanise him further, give us a feeling and a sense of a person a real person at that, rather than a poetic device utilised because that’s the purpose of your piece.

You give Mrs Smith a name, a generic one yes, but still a name. Do you see my problem?

Anyway, I do have to say I enjoyed this piece and look forward to seeing it develop.

Hope this helps

Cheers

Syd
 
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