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Predictability is not her asset [ mild language] (1 Viewer)

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
She is a blue flame thrower
lover of wild seeds sower
a dirty secret keeper and a
late night by herself weeper

A best friend and erotic lover
a respecter of her mother
she is a rebel without a clue
but if your chips are down
she knows what to do
she will come running
to rescue you
but make no mistake
that chick is a Bitch and
she will pull that monkey right
off your back

Do not give her lame excuses
or think you can seduce her don't
ever try to abuse her
She has been burned by
her own flame bit the dust and
climbed to her feet again she comes
from a long line of tuff survivors
hates a look you in the eye liar

She loves to be loved
protected like a fragile dove
she is not a one night stand
but she will stand by her man
and when push comes to shove
that bitch will burn your town
to
the
ground
she is a blue flame thrower...
 
Last edited:

Mickd

Senior Member
Hey Fire, I really liked your poem. The way you juxtaposed two sides of the same coin was effective. The vulnerable nurturer contrasted against the figure of a “bruised” fighter who is not afraid to fight, is powerful! The tranquility of the first one and a half stanzas is abruptly shaken up when the frailty of the moment is suspended, and a confident authority emerges:

“but make no mistake
that chick is a Bitch and
she will pull that monkey right
off your back”

That really worked for me! After that there was no way I wasn’t reading to the end. It feels a little weird to say I liked your poem because if felt so raw and personal. But its also that kind of sincerity that is so compelling!!
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Hey Fire, I really liked your poem. The way you juxtaposed two sides of the same coin was effective. The vulnerable nurturer contrasted against the figure of a “bruised” fighter who is not afraid to fight, is powerful! The tranquility of the first one and a half stanzas is abruptly shaken up when the frailty of the moment is suspended, and a confident authority emerges:

“but make no mistake
that chick is a Bitch and
she will pull that monkey right
off your back”

That really worked for me! After that there was no way I wasn’t reading to the end. It feels a little weird to say I liked your poem because if felt so raw and personal. But its also that kind of sincerity that is so compelling!!


Thank you so much ;), I wrote this poem for my NaPoWriMo thread, so it was rushed and needs polishing...

I love that you read my poem exactly as I hoped it would be read, you saw the warrior, and you saw the vulnerability... I was trying to express how one might hide the vulnerability and protect herself behind the warrior... and you understood that ;)
not only can you write poetry, but you know how to read poetry on a deeper level...
Thank you so much, your insight is so appreciated...
 
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