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Possible film script, possible trash... (1 Viewer)


Senior Member
I have an idea for a film script that in one light seems original, interesting exciting! But in another light looks completely cliché and overdone and simply annoying. Its something like this...

We fallow a character Talbot. He is young (say late twenties), successful, rich, has a beautiful girlfriend. He is fit, healthy, attractive and materialistic beyond belief. We fallow him through a week that he experiences nightmares in which he is an obese, dying, poor, lonely slob.

How ever, the film is shot as to imply that perhaps this is the reality (the slob) and he is dreaming/wishing of becoming the successful version of himself. At the end of each dream the character falls asleep, implying they are about to dream, after they fall asleep the other character wakes. It is the audience’s choice to decipher which is reality and which is a dream.

Also I was thinking there should be a field type of setting in which represents the characters mind. Here, the two ego’s can argue and define their existence.

Is this too… overdone, this idea of dream and reality? Do you have any suggestions on how I could avoid this cliché?

I had the idea of incorporating the same character in either "Talbot's" life. In the successful life this character (let’s call him Eddy) is an annoying, nosy pest. In the unsuccessful Talbot's life, Eddy is a charm, a treat to be around, he is angered by the fact that Eddy does not visit him enough ect.

I also thought adding things like pictures of "Successful Talbot's" home on a magazine or something in "Unsuccessful Talbot's" stingy apartment. Or on the news playing at "Successful Talbot's" home, we hear of a shooting in "Unsuccessful Talbot's" neighborhood, triggering this into his dream about Unsuccessful... or did "Unsuccessful Talbot" trigger it into his own dream?

The whole film would go like this. I would perhaps write in into 14 scenes, two for each day of the week. So each day is a look into the lives of a dying man and his fantasy of what could have been for him, and a look into the life of a "yuppie", who loves his life and possessions that has nightmares about what his life could have been like.

Another idea I had is to incorporate traits in Eddy of both Talbots. For example, When we are looking at "Unsuccessful Talbot" (god I’m getting tired of typing that), Eddy has qualities of Successful Talbot, and vice versa. Reading this is probably very confusing, as it would be in short story form, I think on film it would be much easy to get these points across with out being to straight forward and shallow.

I just wanted feed back so I don't write an entire script just based on one persons "Neat Idea".

I feel character development would be hard. It would be hard to make the characters one on there own but also one in each other. I don't want to rely on the whole wants and fears idea as a form of character development. Also an ending would be a very hard task; I figure I could close with the charming well off Talbot getting hung up over the image of himself not "the best" or rich or fit or attractive and has a bit of an identity crisis. Where as the depressed/depressing Talbot is reassured by hope. Thoughts?


Senior Member
as a short, it might fly... but would have to be done very carefully, to not overconfuse the audience...

as a feature film, i can't see any hope for this, since you don't really have any plot and nothing much 'happens'... plus, the fact that you're asking one actor to carry the entire film, being both protagonist and antagonist... and with little or no help/respite provided by secondary characters...

my advice would be to play around with the idea and see what you can do with it as a short...

hugs, maia


Yea I agree with Mamm, you'll need to work out the plot to make it a feature film but perhaphs as a small thing it'd be good. You definately will need more characters other than Talbot or else it'd just become somewhat repetitive and people might become uninterested.

It's funny, I've posted the same idea of dream and reality but mine is a story and has a sci-fi twist to it. Check out my recent threads if you want just to see how i've used this concept. I love movies that make you think (The Matrix, Identity, Fight Club) and I know there's a wide audience for movies like that as well.


Senior Member
Thanks guys, you brought up some good points. I have a similar idea that just popped into my mind after finishing this sentence. Perhaps make a sereies of scenes and put them in no chronological order. I could write it in a way as to make three stories, al using the same scences, but when the order is changes, so is the story. Obviously its a half baked idea (having just popped into my head). But would offer more leway for characters and such.

Fightingcrest: I enjoyed the movies you listed (huge film fanatic). You should see "Waking Life" (if you haven't already) if you enjoy the deep thinking/phycological type of film (as I do). Also I Heart Hukabees was amazing. I will deffinetly check out your posts. BTW, sorry about my spelling, don't have much time!

Thanks again!