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Perpetual motion machine needs no maintenance (1 Viewer)

kbsmith

Senior Member
...
But rhythm and rhyme demand focus and patience

Like
Pissing on petals
Or
Shining up metal
Or
Some other incomprehensible fuss

It seems
A Wild born natural Satan
obeys a wicked vernacular hatred
That Pops the imperfections
Then licks up the puss
He was a saint
Lucyfer
The greatest of us
But soon traded that harness
For a powerful aphrodesiac tonic
That pleases even the driest of taint

Hush
Peddle your piss
Or
Meddle and wish
Or
Some other incomprehensible lust

It seems
I take to my keyboard and linger
Burning up gods of my youth with my fingers
Changing sacred pixel screens that render
My words as glowing output
Summoning
You must
Let them speak
Your hands are your new vessel
Perpetual motion machine needs no vehicle
It lives in the mind of its people
Society you morons
Doesn't need you
You need
It
 
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Arthur G. Mustard

Senior Member
I take to my keyboard and linger
Burning up gods of my youth with my fingers

I love these two lines. Good piece, lots of thoughts and messages, well written.
 

TipGrundlefunk

Senior Member
I like the raw power of this.

I found the structure interesting, like a song with verse and refrain, an option to consider, removing the word 'other' from the last line of the refrain (or is it the verse?) it would tighten the rhythm up.

Is Luscifer deliberately misspelt? If so, I'm not getting the reference?

Tip
 

kbsmith

Senior Member
The gods of my youth were grammar and Jesus. If I knew then what I know now, why! I'd have nothing to write about.

Hey thanks for noting its power.
It is meant to be a chant or some kind of witchcraft. or some kind of social commentary on its own existence in comparison with others.
(most of my writing comes form these standpoints: my perspective) : That's the best tip you're getting , lol. :icon_shaking2:

No. I did not intend to misspell Lucyfer, but have since misspelled it again: To nullify your suggestion without displacing it.
 

Nellie

Senior Member
The gods of my youth were grammar and Jesus. If I knew then what I know now, why! I'd have nothing to write about.

Hey thanks for noting its power.
It is meant to be a chant or some kind of witchcraft. or some kind of social commentary on its own existence in comparison with others.
(most of my writing comes form these standpoints: my perspective) : That's the best tip you're getting , lol. :icon_shaking2:

No. I did not intend to misspell Lucyfer, but have since misspelled it again: To nullify your suggestion without displacing it.

I notice you're in Savannah, Ga, the "Bible Belt". No wonder you write about such things! :pale::distrust:

Reminds me of something my son would probably write about. He grew up in Memphis, TN.
 

kbsmith

Senior Member
Thanks Mesa.

Nellie,
The relentless positivity of "God's greater plan" is fallacy. Life requires you to cheat, kill, steal, and lie to succeed. Those that love are crucified in the streets.
 
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Bard_Daniel

Senior Member
"I take to my keyboard and linger
Burning up gods of my youth with my fingers"

Brilliant lines. This was a poem that almost had a surreal edge to it. I liked it.

:D
 
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