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Pattern (1 Viewer)

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
They used to be boxes.
Didn't know the reason I used to pick them.
I used to carry them till the destiny parted them from me,
to find again new boxes picking them for no reason.
Then came across a box, which picked me.
Did a cross section of me.
And told me I was a mirror image of him.
For the conclusion, those boxes I came across,
which made me feel life, as life,
were mirror images of me,
and I was just following the same pattern,
throughout my life.

Ritu Dimri Nautiyal
 
Last edited:

Annie. Marie

Senior Member
I interpreted this piece as falling into the same toxic patterns when picking a partner, but then again, when you say "mirror images" it could be taken as a positive as well.
The only edit I would have is in L11. I think you're missing the word "the" before "same pattern". Or did you mean to put "some" instead of "same"?
I liked this one.

-Annie
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
I interpreted this piece as falling into the same toxic patterns when picking a partner, but then again, when you say "mirror images" it could be taken as a positive as well.
The only edit I would have is in L11. I think you're missing the word "the" before "same pattern". Or did you mean to put "some" instead of "same"?
I liked this one.

-Annie

The same suits my thought Annie.
Thanks a lot
 

happy-hippie

Senior Member
They used to be boxes.
Didn't know the reason I used to pick them.
I used to carry them till the destiny parted them from me,
to find again new boxes picking them for no reason.
Then came across a box, which picked me.
Did a cross section of me.
And told me I was a mirror image of him.
For the conclusion, those boxes I came across,
which made me feel life, as life,
were mirror images of me,
and I was just following the same pattern,
throughout my life.

Ritu Dimri Nautiyal
Hi Ritu,

I like the imagery of the boxes because it makes me think that we all have unconscious patterns that box us in and directs our choices. Our choices are reflections of us. The things or people we choose reflect who we are on the inside...it's not random, though we might think they are. We always choose mirror images of ourselves.

This poem made me think a lot. I enjoyed it. You are reallly good at expressing deep ideas through imagery. Wonderful poem.
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Hi Ritu,

I like the imagery of the boxes because it makes me think that we all have unconscious patterns that box us in and directs our choices. Our choices are reflections of us. The things or people we choose reflect who we are on the inside...it's not random, though we might think they are. We always choose mirror images of ourselves.

This poem made me think a lot. I enjoyed it. You are reallly good at expressing deep ideas through imagery. Wonderful poem.

Again you hit the bull's eye. Gosh you are a great critique-poet shooter. Most of the times you exactly understand my perception of my writings.

Thanks a lot Happy.
Keep writing.
Good luck

Ritu
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
They used to be boxes.
Didn't know the reason I used to pick them.
I used to carry them till the destiny parted them from me,
to find again new boxes picking them for no reason.
Then came across a box, which picked me.
Did a cross section of me.
And told me I was a mirror image of him.
For the conclusion, those boxes I came across,
which made me feel life, as life,
were mirror images of me,
and I was just following the same pattern,
throughout my life.

Ritu Dimri Nautiyal

I love this, keep it up Ritu [emoji3590]
 
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