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Paragraphs on Canadian identity, Dieppe vs D-Day and peacemaking (1 Viewer)


Well, I have to write a few paragraphs for my grade nine exam. Thought I'd post them here to get some good critique before I head into the exam. I need some help with concluding sentences. Please note I'm not trying to say anything against the US, or start a debate or anything, this is merely a paragraph I wrote for school. Also keep in mind what's written here is based on what I know from grade nine social studies. :)


Some people confuse the words 'melting pot' with 'mosaic' when they are definitely not the same thing. In fact, these words are one of the biggest difference between Canada and the United States. A melting pot is when people of different cultures come together as one but are forced to give up their way of life to fit in with one culture. They have been 'melted' together in one great 'pot' (Ex. The US). A mosaic is also when people of different cultures come together as one, but they are allowed to keep their own culture. These different cultures fit together to make a beautiful 'mosaic' (Ex. Canada). CONCLUDING SENTENCES.


Dieppe and D-Day are two of World War II's most famous battles. Or rather, one infamous and one famous. Dieppe started out as a practice for D-Day. It turned into a disaster. To start, Dieppe was a coastal (Right word?) attack, but they did not have bombers or battleships. They lost all secrecy when the July attack was cancelled and men sent home, only to return in August with no change in plans. They were dropped off late, in broad daylight infront of the Germans and tanks were stopped on rocks. OVer 900 men died and over 1 900 were taken prisoner. D-Day, however, was quite the turn around. they had heavy bombardments, amphibious tanks and bombers. Secrecy was also maintained. There were only 1/3 the casualties of Dieppe among three times as many men. CONCLUDING SENTENCE.

PEACEKEEPING VS PEACEMAKING (This paragraph is a little weak...)

Peacekeeping and peacemaking are very important in helping make our world a better place. However, they are two very different things. Peacemaking is when UN troops go into a coutnry to fight an aggressor. Peacekeeping is what it says, keeping the peace in the civilan populationg. A big differentce between peacekeepers and peacemakers is that peacekeepers only use weapons in self-defense. CONCLUDING SENTENCE.